


Beauty. Grace.

by catholicorprotestant



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/M, I love her, JJ is a dork, adhd JJ, high school sweethearts, isabella yang is a queen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-10 00:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 65,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8918962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catholicorprotestant/pseuds/catholicorprotestant
Summary: It all started with an email. The assignment was interview someone you admire. Isabella took her chances. But it's not easy dating someone in the spotlight. Isabella is pounded with abuse at school and online. She hides it from JJ. He doesn't need to ever think negatively of JJ's Girls when they support him through so much. Isabella focuses on what's really important in life. Alternating POV between JJ and Isabella.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I had this idea and I just really need it in my life. Isabella is perfect tbh. This may be long. It's going to span over three and half years...maybe. We'll see how it goes. I apologize in advance if parts of this chapter seem forced. I found parts hard to get through.

Isabella smoothed her dress, making sure her hair was in perfect place to make her look like a professional journalist and not a fangirl about to meet her crush. She took a few deep breaths and nodded at herself in the mirror. She had her recorder and note pad ready. She was going to do this article for the school newspaper and her grade 10 journalism class. She could do this. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. She repeated the mantra to herself. 

She stepped out of the bathroom before spotting a group of girls outside, cameras flashing. She knew he was there. Should she go outside to greet him or just wait inside? Hadn’t he said he’d meet her inside? Maybe that was better. That way she was sure not to get mistaken for a crazed fan. She took a few deep breaths before the door opened, letting in the sounds of the girls protesting. 

“We love you, JJ!” Multiple voices were shouting.

“I love you too!!!” He waved, blowing kisses as he walked in. 

Her heart stopped. She couldn’t breathe. It was him. THE Jean Jacques Leroy. He pushed his sunglasses up to sit on the top of his head. He was wearing jeans with a nice blue button down that caused his blue eyes to pop. He was even more handsome in person. His eyes laid on her. He smiled walking over.

“Isabella Yang?” He grinned taking her hand. 

“Y-yes.” She tried to smile. Pull it together! 

“Enchanté! He winked before kissing her hand. She could feel her cheeks burning. “I made reservations. Shall we?” 

She nodded. She couldn’t believe he was sixteen! He was talking like an adult! It must be all the interviews he’s had. She knew skaters were often groomed young on how to socialize and interact in choice company. Maybe she was making a mistake. Could she be as poised? 

She let him lead her as they followed the waiter. She had found it so strange that he wanted to meet up at a restaurant, let alone one so upscale. She knew this place. It was expensive, but as she looked around at the tables as they past, she found it even crazier. How could JJ Leroy walk past them and they not even look up? Sure, not everyone followed ice skating, but he was from this area. He was a big deal. Maybe they were used to be in the presence of other popular people. 

They were led to a table in a private seating area with dim lighting and candles on the table with roses as a table piece. It was all very beautiful and romantic. She was thankful for the dim light. She knew her cheeks were burning. She thanked the waiter as she went to sit. JJ stopped her, pulling the chair out for her and presenting it with a wave of his hand and a sly smile. She blinked for a minute, freezing before pulling herself together and sitting. She had never had this kind of thing happen before. It was a bit overwhelming. She knew he was nice to his fans, but she had never expected this.   
JJ thanked the waiter and sat down in own seat pulling the menu toward him, studying it. The way the lit hit his face, she wanted to die. God, he was even more beautiful. Of course she knew everyone looked better in this lighting, but still, she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He glanced up snapping her out of her trance. He smiled, setting the menu down. 

“I hope you don’t mind the lighting. I like to dine in privacy. My family always had the habit. Do you know what you’d like to have?” 

“I…I don’t…it’s fine.” She forced a smile. “I don’t know if I can…”

“Please, order whatever you’d like. It’s on me of course.” He winked. 

“Oh, thank you.” She glanced over the menu, trying hard to focus. She could feel his eyes on her, watching. She took a slow deep breath hoping he wouldn’t catch her trying to calm her nerves. 

“You’re nervous. Why?” Dammit. She looked up to see him frowning slightly. 

“Well I mean I’ve never met someone like you before,” she hated to admit.

“Just think of this as a date with anyone else you like. A classmate. An old friend. I’m just a person, Isabella.” 

“A…date?” Her eyes went wide. She silently thanked the heavens that he had looked away back to the menu. 

“I’m not used to people not talking around me. I promise I don’t bite. I am actually very nice.” He flashed a smile.

“Right…” She breathed. 

She went back to looking at the menu when her purse started to buzz. She knew her friends from were blowing up her phone wanting to know about the interview. She could hear still hear their voices protesting when she’d told them the location of the interview. They’d been so angry. They were sure she was trying to swoop in and steal JJ from them. It was just an interview. She had promised them that. She didn’t understand why they were so angry. She promised to get things signed for them. She slipped her hand in her purse to silence the phone, her heart dropping at the text notification that she saw. 

“I swear to god, if you are on a date with him I am never fucking talking to you again, Isabella. Bitch.” 

She swiped the notification off the screen and went back to choosing from the menu. He was insisting on an interview over dinner and if he was offering, may as well get a free meal out of it too. He was so polite, so comforting. 

The waiter came back, taking their orders and menus, leaving them once again in privacy. Isabella smoothed her skirt and picked up her pen. She smiled and looked up at him. He was sitting there watching her, his eyes on the pen and paper. 

“So I think we should get started if you don’t mind. May I record the interview?” She asked politely pulling out the tape recorder. He gave her a puzzled look. 

“Interview?” 

“For my school newspaper. I want to be a journalist. I said this in the email.” Her stomach started churning. 

“Oh…” He sounded let down. “Yeah, okay. An interview. That’s cool.”

“Okay, great!” She smiled, starting the recorder. “So I’ll start off with introductions. I’m Isabella Yang. I’m a grade 10 student. This interview is for my journalism class. The assignment was to interview a person you admire. I’m here with Jean Jacques Leroy, Canada’s beloved figure skater who has just entered the senior division with amazing success. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”

“No problem! The pleasure is all mine!” He sent a wink to her. “And may I say, Isabella, you look rather stunning this evening.”

“Right, so my first question.” She said trying not to let his comment get to her. She glanced at her notepad to stay focused on the questions. “What have you found to be the most difficult thing going into senior division from the junior division?”

“Well I don’t have as much experience as everyone, so I feel a little intimidated, but skating is literally in my blood and my parents are very supportive and teach me a lot. I think I’ve had an advantage having been skating with them since before I can remember.” He sipped on his water. 

“Your parents are both retired Olympic skaters who have won a variety of metals for Canada.” She smiled.

“Yeah, they’re pretty great. They’ve gotten my young siblings and I into since we were small. It’s great being a in a family like that.” 

“Do you one day hope to join your parents legacy at the Olympics and represent us in the winter games?” Isabella looked at him as he paused. He leaned toward her and rested his chin on his hand. 

“Of course. I don’t think there’s any other option,” he blinked. “It’s really an expectation at this point wouldn’t you say?” His eyes fell to the table. Isabella paused. That wasn’t the reaction she had expected. He took the opportunity to speak again. “Since you get to interview me, may I interview you, Miss Yang?”

“Yeah, that could be fun,” she smiled. “So on that note…”

“What is your favorite color?” he asked. 

“Um…I guess lilac.” She smiled, shifting. “So you said that you feel that it’s an expectation to one day compete in the Olympics. Would you say your parents expect a lot from you in terms of skating?” JJ stared at her again, a long hard stare. 

“I think that all parents want to push their kids to do their best. Mine are no different. They know what I’m capable of and coach me to the best of their ability. What’s your favorite childhood movie?”

“I guess I’d have to say Beauty and the Beast.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “What do you like most about being a skater?” 

“I get to do things that most people would never think the body could do. I get to be in the moment.” He played with his napkin. She watched him for a moment. He pushed it toward her. “I made a swan!” 

She laughed. It looked like a swan for just a moment before the weight of the cloth napkin caused it to melt to the table. “So you like to fold napkins?” 

“You have a really cute laugh.”

“Thank you...” Isabella couldn’t help smiling again.

“I love your smile too. Tell me, have you ever ice skated before? I mean probably, right? We live in Canada and tons of people do it for fun. Plus you follow ice skating.” His eyes lingered on her face. 

“Actually, no, I haven’t. I’ve always been so scared.” She tugged at her sleeve. 

“Well maybe I could take you sometime? Maybe after we eat? My home rink isn’t that far from here. It would be fun. I could show you a thing or two.” 

“Um…I…that would be great!” 

“Great!” he flashed a smile. “Oooh look! Food!”

The waiter set down the food. Isabella put her notepad away to make room for the plate. They ate over polite conversation the interview almost forgotten. He really was a good conversationalist. Other boys their age were nowhere near as well spoken. She knew it had to be from being groomed in the public light. Halfway through the meal the nerves had gone away alone with the feigned formality and she suddenly felt like she was talking to an old friend. He really was as nice as he seemed. 

She learned his parents hired private tutors for all three of their children and homeschooled them. JJ was a bit older than his younger siblings and often felt isolated from kids his own age. He wanted to feel like a normal teenager, but he didn’t think he could. He was very close with both of his siblings, but he still wanted to be with other sixteen year olds.

“Honestly that’s one of the big reasons I like to do things with my fans. They’re actually my age. I don’t even know what other sixteen year old do?” He sighed. “It gets frustrating. And it’s really hard to make friends with skaters because you only see them at competitions. My dad has told me since I was little that you have to ooze confidence at competitions. You can’t believe someone else is going to beat you. Everyone is going for gold. Nobody enters to lose.”

“So you don’t interact with other teenagers?” Isabella frowned. “But you do a lot of volunteering.”

“With my family. And mostly with the elderly or little kids or the homeless. Saturday mornings we volunteer at the food bank and help sort food and inspect the packaging to make sure it’s safe. I absolutely love doing blanket and toy drives! It’s nice to see people smile.” He paused when the waiter came by to clear the table, handing the check to JJ. He pulled out a card and handed it back with a smile and polite thank you. He turned back to Isabella and smiled. 

The interview! Her heart sank with the realization. She had spent all this time with him and didn’t have the interview complete. They had talked the whole time, but did she have enough for her assignment? She pulled out her pad and glanced over the questions. Most of the questions were asked and she did have some quality stuff recorded. Maybe she should finish up the interview? There were only five more questions. 

“Do you still want to go back to the rink with me?” JJ asked.

“Um…” She pulled out her phone to check the time. Twenty text messages. She pulled down the notifications, trying hard to ignore the ones from the club. As long as her mom hadn’t texted her, it should be alright to go. She threw the phone back into her purse and smiled. “Yeah! Sorry, I had to check to see if my mom was asking about me. I can go! I’d love to!” 

“Great!” He smiled standing.

The two left the restaurant, both eager to go to the rink. Her cheeks burned when he asked to hold her hand. His hand was so soft. She hadn’t expected that. She felt something when he took her hand. She side-eyed him trying to determine if he’d felt it as well. He hurriedly pulled her toward a car, glancing around to make sure the coast was clear. He opened the door for her. He climbed in with a smile. This was happening! 

He got in on the other side and started up the car. A familiar melody filled the air. She gasped. It was her favorite band. She stared at him with a huge grin. He 

 

JJ led Isabella into the large building that held the ice rink. The inside looked far less impressive that the outside. There was a woman at the front desk reading a magazine with a bored expression on her face. JJ called a greeting to her which she responded with a warm smile and wave. 

“Hi, JJ! Do you need the rink?” She asked. “I haven’t seen your parents yet.”

“Yeah, I do! It’s okay. It’s not an official practice. I just want to skate with my friend, Isabella.” He gestured toward her. “Isabella, this is Renee. She works for the rink.”

“Oh. Nice to meet you.” Isabella smiled.

“Do you parents know you have a new friend?” Renee winked at him.

“No.” He muttered. “We need skates. What size do you wear, Isabella?” He asked.

“Um…six?” He nodded, grabbing her a pair. He thanked Renee and pulled her behind him excitedly. 

She entered the main room alone while JJ went to change his clothes. The rink was colder than she’d expected. She felt dumb for thinking that. Of course it’d be cold. They didn’t want the ice to melt. But she still wasn’t expecting it. She glanced around the room noting a few seats around the rink and a set of bleachers. The ice was perfectly smoothed. She wondered how often they resurfaced it. The lights were reflecting off of it in a brilliant glow. She had never been inside one of these before. She’d only seen it on television and online. There was something about the air here that felt peaceful.

JJ appeared next to her in a pair of black leggings and a tight athletic shirt with long sleeves. She couldn’t help but admire the way the clothes clung to him. It was hard to look away. She watched him change into his skates. He stood up, walked toward the wall. He glanced at her with a smile. She watched him pull the covers off the blades of his skates, winking at her once more and pushing himself backwards toward the ice. 

His movements were so graceful, so beautiful. She couldn’t believe she was watching this in person. He looked almost as though he was doing laps. His eyes were closed, his face peaceful. Isabella wondered how he seemed to know when to change direction to avoid the walls. How long had he been here? Certainly he practiced a lot. You didn’t get to be as good as he was without it, but still she couldn’t help it. He appeared in front of her, cheeks red, a huge smile on his face.

“Come on, it’s okay. I promise it doesn’t hurt that much when you fall.” He let out a soft laugh.

“I really don’t do well with any kind of pain,” she said nervously, as she stared at the skates next to her.

“I won’t let you fall. If you do, you can fall on me, okay? Come on! It’s so much fun. You’ll love it.” He encouraged. 

Suck it up, Isabella. You’re going to skate with Jean Jacques Leroy. This is a once in a life time opportunity. She nodded, changing into her skates. She stood, surprised at how easily she found her balance. She was expecting to fall and break her ankle, but she felt more like when she’d first started to wear heels, a little unsteady, but if she was slow enough, it would work. JJ held out his hands to her, steadying her as she stepped on the ice.

“See! Still standing!” He smiled. “Okay, baby steps.” She started shakily, his arms around her waist and one holding her hand. “Good,” he encouraged her. 

They went around like that, nice a slow. She kept almost falling, but he was true to his word and caught her. She couldn’t help laughing. It was embarrassing, but fun all at once. She loved his laugh. It was so warm and reassuring. She could listen to it forever. He suddenly let go of her taking her other hand. 

“Okay, now that you’ve got the hang of it while I’m holding you, let’s just do me holding your hands, okay?” His eyes sparkled as he watched her. 

“Are you sure about this?” Her heart raced in her chest. She didn’t want to fall and embarrass herself in front of him. 

“Yes, I’m very sure.” He started to glide back slowly, pulling her along. 

Her heart pounded fast. She didn’t feel much resistance at all. The feeling twisted her stomach, but filled her with glee too. He instructed her patiently, catching her when she tripped up. It seemed to be going very well until she got a little too much momentum and the two fell into a jumbled mess on the ice. JJ laughed, standing up and pulling her back up with him.

“I’m so sorry!” She apologized. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! Are you okay?”

“Yes, but I think maybe it’s been enough. I don’t want to fall on you and hurt you again.” She avoided eye contact. 

He led her back toward the bench, staying on the ice as he watched her sit down safely. “Do you want to see my program I’m working on?” His eyes were alive. 

“I’d love that!” She breathed. 

He flashed a smile and was suddenly in the middle of the ice. His speed amazed her. She watched eagerly as he began. He sucked her in with the way he danced across the ice. It didn’t feel real as she watched. The jump sequence had her holding her breath. How did he move like this? She couldn’t wait to tell the club at school about this. They were going to freak out when she told them about what an artist he really was. Of course they knew, but she had seen in with her own eyes. She cringed as he missed a landing on a jump, but was excited how he kept going. She had stopped when she fell, not JJ. He finished, once again in the middle of the ice. 

“More speed to get a little higher on that jump, JJ!” A voice called through the room. 

JJ tensed for a moment before looking around. She heard footsteps coming from a few feet away. Alain Leroy. Her breath hitched. This man was a legend and her he was standing next to her! She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. She watched them silent. 

“Do it again. Just the jump. I want to see three good ones. Go.” 

JJ licked his lips, his eyes flickering to Isabella. “Papa, I.”

“Don’t talk back. Just do it.” The man’s tone was firm, but held no malice. “Three good jumps. I know you can stick that jump. It’s elementary. Come on.”

JJ complied wordlessly. The third apparently wasn’t up to Alain’s standards as he demanded three more. Isabella was sure he’d made him do fifty by the time he was allowed to finish. Her mind went back to the interview. JJ had seemed a bit uncomfortable with the questions about his parents. He came up to the wall, grabbing the blade covers and coming off the ice, sitting next to Isabella. Alain’s eyebrows raised when he saw her. 

“Who’s this, kiddo?” He messed JJ’s hair.

“Papa, you’re embarrassing me…” JJ muttered, his cheeks flushing more than they already were from the activity. 

“I’m your father. That’s my job.” Alain winked.

“This is my friend, Isabella.” JJ smiled. “Isabella, this is my dad.”

“Alain Leroy!” She beamed. 

“Yeah…” JJ laughed as Isabella jumped to her feet suddenly back to her senses. 

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir! You’re so talented. I’m such a fan of your work!” She gushed. 

“Are you a fan of JJ’s?” Alain inquired.

“Oh yes, very much.” She beamed. 

“How did the two of you meet?” He eyed JJ.

“I want to be a journalist and I had and assignment to interview someone I admire. So I emailed to ask for an interview with JJ. Thank you so much again for giving me the honor.” She smiled looking back at JJ.

“An assignment.”

“I’m a grade ten journalism student.” She explained.

“Right.” He smiled. “Well it was good to meet you. I hope you find your way home well. JJ, your mother probably has dinner ready.”

“Actually…” JJ started, rubbing the back of his head. “Isabella actually lives bit away. Can I take her back to where we met? It was about a twenty minute drive.”

Alain stood there for a minute, his eyes going between the two of them. Isabella felt like she was intruding on something. Suddenly she just wanted to be at home typing up her interview assignment or watching videos online. Really anywhere far from there where she wasn’t in the middle of something. Alain finally broke the silence.

“Fine. Keep your phone and call right away when you’re on your way back.” 

“Okay.” JJ nodded. 

“I love you, JJ.” He said gently, hugging him before the two walked away. She could feel his eyes watching as they left. 

****

Isabella walked through her front door, a smile plastered on her face. JJ had asked her for her number. He wanted to keep in contact. He was glad to make a friend. Maybe he would agree to come to a meeting for JJ’s Girls. She’d be the best president ever if she could arrange that. He liked meeting his fans, right? So she didn’t see it being a problem, though part of her felt the need to give it time before asking. Let the friendship grow more organically. She didn’t want to be a crazed fan in his eyes. He honestly deserved a friend. 

She ran up the stairs to her room to get started on her assignments before dinner. She opened her phone, groaning at the notifications. She read through the group text for JJ’s Girls. It was a mixture of jealousy and aggression. She shook her head reading it. Why were they doing this? JJ’s Girls were supposed to stick together and be nice to one another. There really needed to be more girls being nice to girls in the world. That had been their vision. 

Her heart sank when she saw pictures of her and JJ together. One of them holding hands walking down the street. Another of her in the car with him. Another of the hug he’d given her when she was leaving. Followed by the angriest texts yet. 

“What the literal fuck, Isabella? That doesn’t look like an interview!” 

“You’re such a whore omg!”

“YOU KNOW I LIKE HIM MORE.”

“Fuck you, you fucking bitch.” 

She didn’t feel like dealing with this. Not tonight. Let them be angry. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. She just spent time with JJ Leroy. They all loved him. They all wanted to meet him. And they all hopefully would, but she couldn’t find the energy to worry about them. She had to get this paper typed up and ready to hand in by tomorrow. They’d understand. For now, she just wanted peace. Her phone sounded again. She went to silence it when she saw JJ’s name.

“Hey, I just wanted to say I had a really nice time meeting you. Sorry about my dad. He’s kind of intense when it comes to coaching. He’s a really great guy though. Anyway good night, Isabella Yang.” 

Her cheeks burned reading it. JJ had texted her. She pulled her knees to her chest and sent him a text back before laying back in bed, a smile permanently plastered to her face. She was friends with Jean Jacques Leroy. Nothing else mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay sorry this took a little longer than I had planned! But I am actually pretty proud of this chapter. Thank you to all the lovelies who've been leaving kudos and commenting! You're making me so smiley!

Isabella tapped her pen on her notebook, trying hard to ignore the glares she felt stabbing her from multiple directions. She’d been enduring this for a week now. She knew they'd get over it eventually. She was trying to work on her career in journalism and if they wanted to hold her back for something stupid, then so be it. It was a tough road. She knew she'd face criticism in her future if she was going to succeed. With success comes negativity. People just didn't want to see others happy and reaching their dreams, especially as a woman. She had done nothing wrong, so she had to focus on keeping her head held high. 

She almost breathed a sigh of relief when the bell rang. Next she had lunch. Fourth period was biology. She wouldn't have to do deal with any of the JJ Girls members in that class. She was packing her bag when the teacher called for her to stay after. A smile glued to her face. She knew he was going to talk to her about her interview with JJ. There was going to be praise. Nobody had ever been so bold. She hung back, eyes on her phone as she pretended to be texting to avoid her friends. Finally she was the only one left in the classroom.

"Isabella, I wanted to talk to you about the interview assignment." Mr. Madeux folded his hand in front of him. 

"Yes?" She tried to hold back the smile. 

"You interviewed Jean Jacques Leroy?" 

"Yes."

"The figure skater on the national team?"

"Yes. He's so talented. Honestly my favorite professional athlete and he's only sixteen so I really admire that. Can you believe he's accomplished so much at such a young age? It makes me feel like I should be doing more, so I took the liberty of contacting his management and JJ emailed me back personally." She beamed.

"Isabella, most students interview their relatives, a family friend, a community member, teacher, etcetera. I'm having a hard time believing a grade ten student would be given the honor of interviewing someone of such a high profile for an assignment..." He raised his eyes to her.

"But I did! I was just as surprised. I know, but I really did interview JJ." Isabella tried to keep her emotions at bay. She shouldn't be so upset, but she hated being told she was making it up.

"It's okay if you made it up, Isabella. But in the future-" 

"I didn't make it up. I can prove it. Look." She held out her phone, offering the email. 

"JJstyle@gmail.ca?" He raised his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, but that's not proof."

"I recorded it! Look." 

She pulled the recorder out of her bag and started it up. Her heart pounded in her chest. They listened for a moment. Isabella shifting her weight. She still couldn't believe it was real. She had met JJ Leroy. She had met him and he had taken her skating and asked for her phone number to stay in touch. He wanted to talk to her! So what if he said it was because he didn't really have many people his own age to talk to? He must be friends with other skaters, but she knew that wasn't what he meant. 

"Do you have a video of him speaking?" The teacher asked rubbing his temples. 

Isabella nodded and pulled up an interview only a month old she had bookmarked in her folder. Mr. Madeux went back and forth between the two recordings before leaning back. He studied her for a moment. She gripped the strap of her bag, staring back at him, waiting. He sighed and shook his head. 

"I'm still not convinced, but I'll accept the assignment. You did a good job, Isabella." He offered her a half smile.

She thanked him, collecting her recorder and phone before rushing out of the room to go to lunch. Isabella sighed as her friends suddenly appeared behind her. She didn't want to deal with this. 

"So...sounded like you got pretty chummy with JJ." Sophia muttered. 

"Yeah. You went on a date with him. I knew it!" Cloe huffed. "You know I like him more! I can't believe you did that! Fucking bitch..."

Isabella rolled her eyes before turning around, stopping the two of them in their tracks. She'd known these two girls for years. They'd been the founding members of JJ's Girls. They were her best friends. She didn't want to fight with them, but they were starting this. She intended to finish it. 

"I went to interview him. It's not my fault he's lonely. He doesn't know anyone his own age. He's been home schooled since he was little. He wanted to have fun. I took him up on his offer. Don't act like either of you wouldn't have done the same thing given the chance." She sent a pleading look toward them both. "I don't want to fight."

The two girl crossed their arms, glancing at each other before turning their gaze back to Isabella. They looked like she had stolen their boyfriend and were out for blood. Their expressions brightened into a smiles and they both pounced on her. 

"You're right! We're best friends! We shouldn't fight. JJ's Girls are supposed to stick together, right?" Cloe smiled.

"So what's he like? Tell me everything," Sophia hugged Isabella's arm as they walked toward the cafeteria. 

…

JJ hugged his knees to chest as he stared at the competition on the television. Everyone was doing so well. This was going to be a tough season. He could already tell. To be honest, it made him feel so sick. As if training wasn’t already hard enough. Watching this he could already feel the soreness coming on. He wanted to change the channel to something else, but something in him wouldn’t give up that easily. He did want to win, but he knew he would never beat Viktor. Nobody could, but maybe…maybe if he trained hard enough he could come close. That would really be something. He would love to see the look on his parents’ faces if he got that far. He wanted nothing more than to make them proud. Nothing felt better than finishing a strong performance and looking over at the coaching section to see their faces, smiling and full of pride. It made his heart swell. The television was suddenly black. 

“Nervous?” His mom broke his train of thought, sitting next to him, forcing a warm cup of hot chocolate in his hand.

“A little bit,” he admitted, staring into the dark liquid.   
“You’ll do great. I know it.” She smiled, putting an arm around him as she planted a kiss to his cheek. 

“Thanks…” He forced a smile. 

He really didn’t feel like talking at the moment. He wanted to see what the others were up to, what their programs were like so he could make tweaks to his. He held his hand out for the remote, his mother giving in. They sat quietly, watching the competitions together. The hot chocolate definitely helped to ease his nerves. He wondered how his mom always knew when he was feeling a bit off. He was convinced she had a sixth mom sense or something. She even knew how to make him feel better. Since he was little and first started competing, she’d always give him a hot chocolate before to calm him. A few times she hadn’t been able to make it because his siblings were sick. He really missed it. 

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. His heart skipped a beat. He hoped to god it was Isabella. JJ sat up, leaning forward to put his mug on the coffee table. He pulled out his phone, chewing his lip as he eagerly unlocked it. He frowned to see it was just his dad asking if they wanted him to bring anything home for dinner. Apparently his mother’s phone was off. He asked his mom and sent a quick response. 

He leaned back, sighing slightly. Maybe he should just text Isabella? She hadn’t sent him anything since that first night and it was honestly killing him. He felt like they were in a stalemate to see who could hold out the longest. Was that what you were supposed to do? It was times like these he wished he wasn’t homeschooled. Then he’d know what to do. He didn’t want to be a loser. He was tired of rejection and Isabella was so nice, so beautiful. He’d had such a good time with her. He couldn’t get the sound of her giggle out of his head. He wanted to see her again. She made him feel happy, normal for once in his life. He was sure he loved her. 

“JJ?” He felt his mother’s hand on his shoulder. He forced his mind to switch direction. He could feel it still straying. He switched positions and jiggled his foot as he tried to focus. “You seem to be much more attached to your phone the past week," Nathalie observed. JJ chewed his lip, nodding. "Does this have to do with the girl you were with at the skating rink?" 

"...Yeah..." He admitted with a sheepish smile. He could feel the excitement rising in him. The sort of rush he was used to getting when he got down a new jump or perfected a part of his routine. He didn’t know why he hadn’t talked to his mother sooner. She would know what to do! What to tell him. 

"Tell me about her," she smiled, reaching over to brush his hair out of his eyes. 

"Her name is Isabella. She's super nice! She's so sweet too! Like we were talking and it was so great to actually have someone my own age to be able to talk to about stuff. She wants to be a journalist and she wants to go to Concordia because they have the best journalism program in Quebec. She's in grade ten right now. Her favorite color is lilac. Her laugh makes me smile. It’s like…like…” What was it like? He didn’t know. He wished he could be poetic. His mom was trying to teach him that in his language arts subject. “It’s like…her laugh sounds like happiness. And her smile makes my heart flutter. You know when I was with her, my stomach felt like when I’m at a competition. I think I love her.” He beamed.

“JJ…sweetheart…you don’t know her. You’ve met her one time. You can’t love her.” Nathalie offered a soft smile.

“But, no, Maman, you don’t understand. I do! It’s like on movies.” He turned to sit facing her. “Didn’t you like Papa the first time you met him?”

“I did, but I didn’t love him. I just wanted to know him more.” Nathalie took his hand. “You’re too young to know what love is.”

JJ frowned. Was that not the same thing? All he knew was he couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was this constant thing in his mind. Even in practice he couldn’t shake her. He loved his parents. He loved his siblings. He loved his fans and Canada and music and skating and his favorite movies. They were all different kinds of love, but he knew he loved them all. How was he able to know that love, but too young to know he loved Isabella?

“I don’t think I’m too young…” He mumbled. “I want to talk to her all the time.”

“Are you not?” Nathalie studied him. 

“No. She hasn’t texted me since that night and I really want to text her, but I don’t know if that’s allowed? I’ve never wanted to date anyone before. But I like her.” He turned his attention to his phone. He could text her. He wanted to. “Do you think it’s okay to text her?”

He watched his mom. Her eyes were studying him. JJ noticed the way she’d tensed at the question. Was there something wrong? Maybe it was like in movies when parents were sad their kids were grown up and able to go out with people and find love and do things on their own. He didn’t ever want his parents to feel like he’d leave them. They were his best friends, his biggest supporters, his loudest cheerleaders. He always wanted them around like this. But he knew too that his parents didn’t talk to his grandparents all that much. 

“JJ, your father and I both don’t think it’s a good idea for you to get involved with your fans,” Nathalie’s voice was soft, yet firm.

“Why does it matter?” He shifted. 

“Because…” Nathalie glanced up at the ceiling as she tried to get her words. “It could end up dangerous. There needs to be boundaries.”

“Isabella wouldn’t do that. She’s so nice.”

“JJ, why don’t you meet another skater? Or someone in the same standing as yourself? If you really want to date.” Nathalie sat down again, her eyes on him. “Your father and I couldn’t live if something happened to you or your siblings.”

“Other skaters don’t like me,” JJ hugged his knees. “And besides…I like Isabella.”

“Be careful, JJ.” 

He sighed as his mother kissed his head and walked out of the room with their mugs. He stared at the blank television. What did that mean? She didn’t help him. She didn’t want him to date her. It sounded like his dad didn’t either. Why? Isabella was so nice. They’d love her if they met her, if they gave her a chance. He was sure of that. Why didn’t they want him to be happy? His whole life they were nothing but supportive and now that they were deciding not to be? He wasn’t asking a lot. He just wanted help navigating this. Was it okay to text her? Was it okay to talk to her? Be careful? What was that supposed to mean? 

His body was buzzing with thoughts. He couldn’t sit still. He couldn’t sit. He started pacing, thinking, contemplating. He didn’t want them to see him so agitated. They would want to talk to him more about this. They weren’t going to be helpful, were they? No. Probably not. His mother had basically told him as much. He rushed to his room, dressed quickly and called to his mom he was going to go running and maybe to the skate rink. 

….

The day had gone better. Chloe and Sophia were better, finally over everything. They’d talked for so long about JJ at lunch. It felt almost like normal. The whispers in the hall had stopped. No more angry texts. She wished JJ would text her. She couldn’t text him. She would die. What if he thought she was being creepy and obsessive? He had given her his number in confidence. He trusted her no to abuse the privilege, but still she wanted to talk to him. 

She walked through the front door of her house, stepping out of her shoes and into the house slippers. She put her shoes on the appropriate place on the rack before racing upstairs to her room. She threw her bag on the floor and wandered back down to get a snack and water. Her parents would likely not be home until late as usual. Sometimes she wished they had normal jobs were they’d be home early. She was too old to hang out with them, but she wouldn’t mind talking to them occasionally when she got home. Entering an empty house was all too often disheartening. 

One Sophia and Chloe’s parents was always home to greet them when they got home from school. Most of the time they actually picked them up. They rarely had to ride the bus like Isabella. She was envious of that. Occasionally she’d tag along and they’d get home and their mother would have a snack already laid out for them. They’d talk about their days for a bit before the girls would go hang out in their friend’s room. Usually they’d watch videos of skaters, mostly JJ, until dinner. Isabella wanted that.

She went back to her room, dragging her bag behind her to the desk that sat near the window. She pulled out her planner, deciding which assignments she should do first. She started up her playlist on her phone for studying. All the songs she’d heard her favorite skaters skate to. There was something inspiring about them. It always put her in the right mental focus to do her work. She wondered how JJ studied. Did he? What was homeschooling like? She pushed the thoughts away and got to work. 

…..

Isabella was practicing her flute when she heard the front door open downstairs signaling her parents were home. Her stomach growled. She hadn’t even realized how hungry she was. It was already dark out, so she was sure they had stopped by her grandparents’ restaurant for dinner. She cleaned her flute quickly before placing it back in the case, and ran downstairs ready for some of her grandmother’s cooking. 

“Mama! Baba!” She smiled as she reached the bottom of the steps. 

“Isabella, your teacher called today,” her mother gave her a stern look. 

“Oh?” Isabella’s breath caught. Had Mr. Maduex called them before they talked?

“You lied to your teacher saying you interviewed that boy you have posters of?”

“It…It wasn’t a lie, Mama.” Isabella’s eyes glued to the floor. “I really did interview JJ.”

“You what?” Her father’s eyes wide. “You met with a strange boy and you didn’t think to tell us?”

“I knew you wouldn’t let me! You never let me do anything!” Isabella insisted. “I’m almost sixteen. I can make my own decisions about who I meet and don’t meet. Besides…it’s Jean Jacques Leroy! Everyone knows him. He’s super nice. It wasn’t dangerous at all. I made sure we met in a public space and it was for a my journalism assignment! You know that I want to be a journalist. This was me making a step in that direction. I’m going to meet tons of new people as a journalist!” She defended.

“You are fifteen years old. You are a child. You are not a journalist. You are a fifteen year old child who deliberately put yourself in danger!” Her mother scolded. 

“I’m not a child!” Isabella’s blood boiled. “In three years I’m going to be away at college. He’s so nice, Mama!” 

“You’re grounded.” Her father said firmly. 

“But!”

“Don’t talk back. We have dinner.”

Isabella wanted to cry. Why were they so angry? She hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d met JJ for dinner and an interview. They had fun skating together. Why was everyone acting like it was such a big deal? Besides, her parents were never home anyway. It wasn’t like they cared what she did. How was meeting JJ any different than any other boy at school? They hadn’t done anything. She just wanted to get extra points on her paper. She wanted to build a resume. Colleges would be impressed! She had to go into Concordia or she would just die. 

They finished dinner silently. She didn’t feel like talking to them and they didn’t talk much in the first place. She wanted a normal family who would support her ideas and her outgoing nature. But instead she was put in a box. She showered quickly before saying good night to her parents. She pulled her phone in to charge when the screen lit up and JJ’s name shined on the screen. 

“Hello?” She managed. 

“Hi. It’s me…JJ. Um…I hope it’s not a bad time? I’m sorry it’s kind of late, I just really…I didn’t know if it was okay to text. I’m sorry I’m really new to this.” His voice trailed off. There was a moment of silence. “Oh…” 

“Hey, sorry, no, um…yeah, it’s totally a good time. Seriously. I was actually kind of afraid to text you too. I didn’t want you to think I was being weird.” Isabella hugged the blanket around her. 

“Oh good…” Another pause. “Do you want to be friends? Like actual friends? My parents think it’s weird to be friends with fans, but I don’t think so. And I would really like to have a friend. And you’re so nice.” His words were fast, almost slurring together. It was so different from when they’d first met. He’d seemed so cool, so confident. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’d love that,” Isabella wanted to scream in her pillow.

“Oh, yay! That’s great.” She could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hey…may I ask you a favor?” She ventured. She wanted Mr. Maduex to know how wrong he was to ever doubt her. 

“Sure!”

“My teacher doesn’t believe me that I actually interviewed you. Would you be able to tell him that I did? I know it’s asking a lot, but I don’t want people thinking I’m lying and I want to have a good grade on this paper.” She hated how whiney her voice sounded. She silently cursed herself. 

“Yeah! Of course. That’s so stupid that they doubted you. When would you like me to come talk to them?” He was starting to sound a little more relaxed.

“How’s Friday? And if you don’t mind…my friends are begging me to introduce you. You said you wanted more friends, so…” Isabella hated herself for asking. 

“Yeah, okay. I do want friends.” He let out a soft laugh. 

“JJ…?”

“Yes?”

“Good night. You can text me any time, okay?”

“Okay. Good night, Isabella Yang.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you lovelies for reading! Please comment! xoxo I'll try for an update soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!  
> Don't hate me for this chapter. It might raise questions, but I promise they'll be answered in the coming chapters. This one is a little tense, but don't worry...it's cute too. I hope you guys like it!

The bell signaled the end of the week and the beginning of the weekend. Students piled out of their classrooms ready to enjoy the much needed break from the monotony of the strict structure of public school. A few clubs were meeting causing some students to walk against the flow of traffic. Kids were finding their friends, ready for a much needed movie after school. 

Isabella hurried her way to the front of the school, her eyes peeled for JJ. He’d promised he’d be here right after school ended. She chewed her lip, glancing at her phone for a text or call. She didn’t want Mr. Maduex leaving before she had a chance to prove to him she hadn’t been lying. This was also going to be the best meeting of the JJ’s Girls school club. She really hoped he had a good time. She had made them all promise to behave and not be weird, reminding them he was a sixteen year old kid just like themselves. Still, part of her was nervous that wouldn’t be the case. 

Suddenly she spotted him. He was smiling and talking to a group of students not far away. She took a minute to gather herself. They’d been texting nonstop for the past few days with calls sprinkled in, yet she still felt so nervous to see him. It wasn’t the same as the first time, the excitement. No, she was worried what he’d think. Would he still think she was cool enough to be friends with? Or would he see her as a crazy fan girl who was using him. She hoped he still liked her. She prayed he’d like Chloe and Sophia and the other girls, but not too much. Wait? Where had that come from? 

She made her way over, calling to him, waving. He looked up and smiled, waving to her and excusing himself from the group. To Isabella’s surprise, he hugged her the second he could. It was nice. His arms were solid around her as they gave a quick squeeze. He pulled back and flashed a smile. His eyes were blocked by his reflective sunglasses. The red Canadian National Team jacket hung loosely from his body over a pair of black track pants. 

“Isabella!” He greeted. 

“Hey, JJ,” she willed the blush away. “How are you?”

“Great!” He beamed. “This is really cool.”

“Shall we?” she asked. 

He nodded following her inside. He pushed his sunglasses on his head. Her heart skipped a beat at the action. He was so cool. Everything about it was perfect. She tried hard not to stare or be weird. They walked together, all the while JJ talking on and on about how the school looked so much like it does in movies. She wondered he’d really never been in a high school before. There was nothing particularly interesting about it, yet this guy was going on and on. She’d always thought homeschooling sounded amazing, but here he had her second guessing that thought. 

“Oh my god, can I get a picture!?” 

They turned to see one of the grade twelve girls with one of her friends. Isabella didn’t know them well, but she recognized them. Isabella could have sworn she’d seen a strange look graze over JJ’s face. It was only there for a moment. She could have imagined it, but still. She wondered what it must be like to grow up with that kind of attention. The fact that he was so excited over something so basic in almost every kid’s existence in Canada seemed to speak volumes to her. Most kids viewed high school as horrible and he talked about how cool it was to actually get to be in one. A phone was forced into her hand, pulling her from her thoughts. She snapped a picture for them and handed back the phone. She was a little annoyed about them taking so long to talk to him. They were even getting him to sign things. She really needed to get him to Mr. Maduex before he left. 

“JJ, we really need to go…” she pressed gently, her eyes lingering down the hallway at the door that was still open. Teachers were leaving, ready for their own days off. 

“Oh, right, yeah. I’m sorry, ladies. So good to see you! Thank you so much for your support! It means so much.” He smiled, waving at them.

“Bye, JJ! Thank you!” The girls called after them. 

“Thank you,” JJ muttered in her ear, his arm snaking around her shoulders. 

“For what?” She looked at him concerned. 

“Giving me an excuse to get away. I love my fans, it’s just when they treat me like I’m not a normal kid…I don’t know. It feels off.” He shrugged and flashed her a smile. Maybe she had actually seen that look on his face after all?

They reached Mr. Maduex’s classroom. Isabella poked her head it to make sure he was still there. He was sitting at this desk, a pen in hand with a stack of papers. He was probably grading the papers or test. Perfect! She knocked on the door gently.

“Pardon, Mr. Madeux? May I talk to you, please?” 

The man looked up and nodded, putting his work to the side. She sent a glance to JJ who offered a smile. Isabella took a deep breath to calm her nerves before walking in. JJ held back for a moment like they’d planned. She didn’t want it to be an ambush. Not right at first anyway. She approached the desk timidly. 

“My parents told me that you’d called them and I feel like you still don’t believe me that I did interview JJ Leroy and I wanted to prove to you that I did. I don’t like people not believing me.” She hugged her arms around herself. She had never been so assertive with a teacher before.

“I did speak with your parents about my concerns, yes, but it’s not going to affect your grade, Miss Yang.” He pushed his glasses up his nose. “Don’t worry.”

“Good afternoon!” JJ announced himself, strutting in easily.

Isabella smiled at him, her heart racing as he sent her a quick wink. She turned back to see Mr. Maduex’s mouth hanging open slightly as he stared at JJ. His eyes were bugging from his head. It was an amusing sight. She wished she was brave enough to capture the moment. JJ let out a soft laugh and shook the man’s hand. 

“Pleasure to meet you, sir.” JJ smiled. “I’m Jean Jacques Leroy. Call me JJ.” 

“Right, yes, hi. Mr. Maduex. What can I do for you?” The man stumbled over his words, standing up, scrambling. 

“My good friend Isabella her has told me that there is some speculation on the assignment that she interviewed me for and I very much wanted to come clear up any misconceptions as Miss Yang is very smart and talented and quiet ambitious which I must say I do think we can agree is a very necessary trait for a journalist, wouldn’t you say?” 

There is was. That confident, flawless, groomed language he had used with her the first time they’d met. That body language was back that screamed professional. Shoulders squared, hands down at his sides. That polite smile plastered on his face like he was in front of the damn cameras she’d watched him on the past three years. How was he barely sixteen and able to just turn that on and off? She would be sixteen soon and she was not even close to having that pattern of speech or that word choice. Honestly, it was what she had expected in the beginning, but she much preferred his normal speech pattern that he used casually with her. It made it feel like she was talking to an actual teenager and much less like an adult. Mr. Madeux didn’t even seem to have that professional speech pattern down. He seemed to be falling over himself at the sight. It was rather strange. She made a mental note to talk to JJ about it. 

“Yes, yes, I do agree with you. I’m sorry that you had to come down to speak to me. But you have to understand, this sort of thing is very unexpected.” Mr. Madeux was smoothing his shirt or drying his palms. Isabella really wasn’t sure which one it was. It could be either. 

“No problem at all, sir!” JJ beamed. “I just wanted to make sure that you knew she was telling the truth and is actually one of the better journalists I’ve ever worked with despite her not even halfway through grade ten.”

“Yes, well thank you, Mr. Leroy.” Mr. Madeux smiled, holding his hand out to shake it. JJ took it and smiled back. 

“Please, JJ.” 

“JJ,” Mr. Madeux’s eyes fell to the floor. “I want to wish you good luck this season. Thank you for representing Canada.” 

“Thank you for the support!” JJ flashed his signature move and winked. He took Isabella by the hand. “Nice to meet you, sir! Have a wonderful weekend!”

“You too!” Mr. Madeux called as JJ pulled her out of the classroom. 

…..

There were actual lockers lining the walls. Real metal lockers with different kinds of locks hanging on them. JJ stared at them in wonder. He had thought it was just in movies. These were a bit smaller than he had seen in shows and stuff, but it was still so cool. He wondered how much stuff was actually in them. Were the lockers decorated? Maybe he could ask Isabella to show him hers! He wondered if they sounded the same. Did people really slip notes in lockers? Did they really meet at lockers and talk? Was that real? Did people really keep nasty things in their lockers? His list of questions went on. 

“Do you think we can go get food after? Like we can get poutine or something and like maybe go to a movie or something? Like the group of us? Is that what people do? I think it’d be nice. I’ve never done that with anyone other than my family.” He frowned. 

Isabella looked at him, almost shocked before smiling and giving him a small nod. He smiled happily. Today was going to be great. He could feel it. He couldn’t wait to go home and tell his parents how wrong they were about it being a bad idea. They meant well, he knew that, but the truth was they weren’t up to date on the current state of affairs. A lot had changed since they were young. He couldn’t imagine what it was like when they were young. How did they go to high school and compete? Actually, he knew a lot of skaters who did both. It was mind boggling. He could barely focus on lessons as he was. Jetlag was horrible. How did they cope? Maybe he’d ask them?

Isabella led JJ down a long corridor and to the last classroom before large glass panes that made up the back wall of the school. It reminded him of some of the skating rinks he'd been to, but not really what he'd imagined a school to be. He liked that they allowed in so much natural light and you could look out on the nice sunny day beyond the walls of the institution. 

He could hear the girls' excited chatter, unable to make out any of the words. There was so much to take in. A group of boys were outside playing basketball on the open outdoor court. It looked like a lot of fun. He couldn't help but wonder what it was like to play basketball. He'd never been particularly interested. He was so hyperfocused on his own sport that it was easy to forget that other sports existed. Maybe he could ask them to teach him? Should he ask his dad first? One of the boys jumped into another sending them to the ground. On second thought...he'd rather not get hurt doing something he didn't enjoy. He wanted to be able to skate competitively as long as he could. He really didn't enjoy anything like he did figure skating. The rush of competitions was like no other feeling. But still he didn't think it would hurt to ask the boys if they would like to do something with him and Isabella's friends. He started to make his way toward the exit sign. 

"JJ?" Isabella grabbed his hand. "Where are you going? Are you okay?" Her eyebrows were knit in concern. 

"Oh, yeah, I'm great!" He flashed a smile, silently scolding himself. Focus! 

"Okay, are you ready to meet my friends?" She asked, her eyes darting to the room.

"Sure!" He grinned following her in. 

The girls went silent when as they walked in. All eyes glued to him. He shifted slightly. They were too quiet. He smiled and waved to them. Nobody said a word. A few of the girls' mouths were hanging open in shock. He wasn't used to this. He was used to people recognizing him, people saying hi, people wanting pictures. He was not used to being gawked at. Suddenly he was hyperaware of himself. He was sure he could feel every strand of hair on his head and his fingernails and toe nails. He rubbed his hands together trying to make the sensation stop.

"JJ, I'd like you to meet my best friends, Cloe and Sophia. And the rest of the group." 

Isabella listed off the names and girls smiled as their name was called. They still didn't say a word. Isabella talked to them about something. He couldn't understand her. He just heard her. Why weren't they talking? Had they even blinked? He couldn't be sure. This wasn't what he'd been expecting. All he wanted was to make friends, not be made a spectacle. This was unnerving and honestly, it was making him mad. What made them think they could just stare at him? What made them think he wasn't a person? He was. He was a teenager just like them. 

"Do you have anything you'd like to say?" Isabella nudged him. 

"Huh? Um..." He cleared his throat. "Hi...I guess you know who I am." He took a deep breath and glanced at Isabella. She was chewing her lip, staring at her shoes. Why did she look so sad? He put his arm around her. "You are all so lucky to be friends with Isabella! She's great, huh?" He smiled.

"Yeah..." One of the girls, Cloe? muttered, side glance. 

"Can we get pictures with you?" Another girl asked, squeezing her phone to her chest. 

"Yeah, of course!" He smiled. 

This he was used to. This he could do. It wasn't really what he'd wanted, but at least it was usual attention. He'd be lying if he said he didn't like getting attention. He smiled, did his thing, and signed stuff for the girls. None of them really had anything much to say. Just the usual. "I'm such a fan!" "You're amazing!" "You're so cute!" Things he was used to hearing. Honestly he had heard them so many times, he'd started to doubt whether the praise was sincere. It was lackluster. He really didn't care to hear things like that so often. He knew they were trying to be nice, but really what he wanted desperately were friends. His parents were often trying to teach him about time and place. And this is what they meant. 

So he acted the part they wanted him to play. He listened to them ramble about how much they loved him. Smiled and thanked them. Took their gifts with enthusiastic thank yous. He must have signed over a hundred things. His hand and head were starting to hurt. He was relieved when Isabella took charge, saying it was enough and they needed to talk about something. He didn't know what. He didn't care. 

He excused himself to the back of the room, pulling out his phone and headphones to listen to something to calm him just a bit. He hated the way his clothes felt against his skin at that moment. One of the overhead lights was flickering slightly. He hadn't noticed it when he'd first entered the room, but now it was annoying. Why wouldn't anyone fix it? Did they not notice? Did students really sit in this classroom all day and deal with that? He remembered kindergarten and how things like that always seemed so much more important than the alphabet. 

He forced himself to close his eyes and focus on the music playing through his earbuds. The music for his senior debut free skate. It was a soft piece with beautiful layering. He could hear every instrument playing separately as well as together. It was beautiful. It was calming. He played the program over in his head. He really needed to practice. After this he was going to go. The thought of getting down his quads was exhilarating. 

"JJ? Earth to JJ?" He lifted his eyes to see a couple of the girls had made their way back to talk to him. He sighed and flashed them a smile. 

"Sorry?" The girls giggled, looking at each other. What was so funny? He glanced around the room trying to figure it out. Was it the weird posters on the wall?

"You were totally spaced out!" One of the laughed. 

"And you've been like swaying back and forth for like ten minutes." Another pointed out. "Are you into the music or something?"

He froze for a moment. They noticed. He was doing it again. How could have forgotten? He let out a soft laugh, trying hard to keep himself from getting worked up. He stopped rocking feeling his heart race. He wasn't used to people calling him out for things he did. Not like this. He noticed Isabella was gone. Where was she? 

"Oh my god, you're so fidgety! Are you nervous?" Another girl leaned forward onto the desk of the seat he was sitting in. Why was she so close? This close he could see the individual hairs of her eyebrows. He could make out the make up on her face. It didn’t blend very well. It reminded him of his grandmothers and the old ladies at the nursing homes his family volunteered at. People shouldn’t be this close. He could feel her breath on his skin. 

"Can you..." He clenched his jaw, demanding himself to shut up. Don’t make your fans upset. Was this what his parents were worried about? Was the why they told him he shouldn’t be involved with his fans? This was kind of thing had never happened before. His fans were usually kind, jumping in for a moment before politely excusing themselves. 

"Okay, I'm going to need you to stop shaking your leg, JJ. It's really distracting."

"Sorry, I...Where's Isabella?" He asked, standing up. He could feel this muscles tensing as he willed himself to be still. His body was screaming at him. But he couldn’t be weird. He didn’t want to be weird. He wanted them to like him and they didn’t want him moving. So he forced himself to stand still. The screams were getting louder, his muscles aching to move. 

"She had to step out for a minute. Her mom was calling her. So what's up with you two? Did she really interview you or was it a date?" Cloe smiled, her eyes blazing.

"She did." He confirmed. Why did she leave? He wanted her to be back. Maybe she could get them to stop. He swallowed hard, his eyes scanning the room. The door was so far away. Maybe if he could just inch closer? No. Stop. Calm down. His breath caught in his throat. The room felt like it was caving in. Why was it suddenly so hard to breathe?

"You're so nervous!" Another girl giggled, grabbing his arm. "Sit down, talk to us. We're just really interested in our best friend's love life." 

Love life? Isabella had a love life? That was interesting. He wanted to know about that too. Did she have a boyfriend? Was she interested in anyone? He needed to ask. He made a mental note, repeating it in his head. He hoped she didn’t have a boyfriend. He liked her very much. She was so pretty, so sweet. She talked to him like a person. He wanted to hug her and hold her hand and be able to touch her dark waves. She was so smart. She knew so much about everything. She wanted to go to Concordia. Gosh she was perfect. He needed to find her before he forgot to ask her.

"I really need to be going to practice..." He frowned. 

"Nonsense! You can practice later." One of the girls pulled him closer to them. This was far too much.

"You need to stop." He stepped away from them. Was that mean? Maybe it was rude. Apologize. “I’m sorry.” He muttered, pulling at his sleeves.

"Do you like Isabella?" Sophia crossed her arms. "Like...like like her."

Isabella. She was so nice. Where was she? He needed to talk to her. Maybe she could tell him more about Concordia. He’d lived in Montreal most of his life and didn’t really know much about the school. It was a beautiful campus. Isabella belonged there.

"She's really nice. Where is she?" 

"We already told you," Cloe rolled her eyes. 

The words felt like he’d been struck. She was mad. Annoyed. He didn’t meant to upset them. They were making him so uncomfortable. He just wanted to leave. He needed to find Isabella and he wanted to skate. If he could just escape. His eyes were glued to the door. Maybe if he thought it hard enough, she’d come back. 

"Okay, but I don't remember what you said." He inched back towards the door. 

"Her. Mom. Called." Another girl said loudly, separating the words.

“I said I didn’t remember. I’m not deaf.” He snapped. He couldn’t hold back anymore. It was too much. They were too much. Why wouldn’t they just let him leave? Why were they being so strange? Why were they being so mean?

“Keep up, kid,” Sophia smirked.

That’s when he saw it. The perfect escape. He hadn’t even realized he’d been actually moving. There were no more desks between him and the door. He could leave. He could go find Isabella. If only he could stop shaking. 

"Right. Well it was very nice to meet you ladies, but I really do need to be going. Thank you for the support! Season starts soon! So I need to go. You understand. You're kind of freaking me out, so bye." He waved before running out of the room.

......

 

Isabella stared at the text JJ had sent her. It didn't make sense. The words were so poorly spelled. Spaces and punctuation seemed to be almost thrown in at random. Something felt so wrong about it. Maybe she shouldn't have left him alone with the girls. She'd walked back to the classroom only to find it empty with a note on one of the desks telling her off. She didn't care about that now. She was worried about JJ. He had never sent a text like that and he wasn't answering his phone when she called. 

She walked through the halls looking for him, asking anyone she saw which wasn't many. Nobody had seen him. She'd messed up. She knew she'd messed up. But she had told him she was leaving. She thought it would be okay. She couldn't have answered the call in the classroom. She knew for sure her friends would have made noise. She had to pretend she was staying for detention or she'd be grounded even longer and forced to go to her aunt and uncle's house which would more than likely, she'd be playing hostess at their restaurant. She did not want to do that. 

She jumped at the chance to answer when her phone started buzzing in her hand. It was JJ. She felt some of the weight lift off her shoulders only to be replaced with more nerves. What if he was mad? What if he hated her? What if her friends had been less than professional?

"JJ? Hi. Are you okay? I'm so sorry!" She gushed.

"Hey...no, I'm okay. I'm sorry I left. I just...things got to be a little much, you know?" His voice sounded off. Strained? Shaky? It made her feel sick. That wasn't okay. 

"I'm sorry. It's okay. Don't worry about it." She assured him, her voice gentle. 

"Are you hungry?" He asked after a moment. "Would you come with me to eat? My treat."

Isabella paused. She wanted to say yes more than anything, but she was grounded. She really didn't want to before forced to work at the restaurant. It was boring and she had to deal with a lot of people who were less than kind. But she was starving. Her parents would be out late for a business dinner. They wouldn't know and this would be better than going home and being alone. 

"Of course!" She smiled.

She met him in the front of the school. He jumped out of the car and walked around to open the door for her with a weak smile. She thanked him getting in. Her stomach growled loudly demanding food. She hadn't realized how hungry she had been with her worry. She smiled and leaned back she couldn't wait to get to the restaurant. 

They drove in silence. Isabella gave up conversation early on in the trip. His mind seemed to be elsewhere. She wished they could put on some music. Something to make it less awkward. She didn't want to be on her phone and really she didn't know who she'd text. If that letter was any indication, her friends wanted nothing to do with her. They were convinced they were dating behind their back and that she was lying. They even went as far as to say that they felt like she was telling him lies to make him not like them. What happened? Everything had seemed to be going fine when she had left. She wanted to ask JJ, but his silence was impenetrable.

She breathed a sigh of relief when they got to their destination. JJ offered her a smile, his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket. They were seated quickly in a booth toward the back and gave their orders. JJ stared at the table, his body shaking ever so slightly. She chewed her lip, trying to ignore it not wanting to call him out on it. She hated doing that. It seemed so rude, so intrusive. 

"I'm sorry," JJ mumbled, finally breaking the silence. "I'm not allowed to listen to music when I drive and my mind was somewhere else. I'm not ignoring you." 

"Oh." She sat up. She hadn't been expecting that. Not allowed to listen to music? That sounded so silly. Her parents would probably make up the same ridiculous rules. She would probably break them. Why bother when they didn’t make sense? Her parents weren’t around, so how would they know? Did he seriously do eveyrhting his parents said? Was he really that kind of teenager? There was something endearing about it. She couldn’t help but smile. “So you play by the rules, huh?” She asked jokingly.

“Well it’s kind of a safety thing and my parents just want me to be safe, you know?” He sipped his water. “I have trouble concentrating on driving if there’s music on so they made me promise I wouldn’t.” 

“Oh?” She played with her straw.

“Yeah.” He was quiet for a minute. “I don’t like you friends.”

Isabella blinked. It was so abrupt. So sudden. He looked like he regretted it the second the words fell out of his mouth. His eyes went wide, his fist pressed to his mouth. His eyes glistened almost like there were tears, but she didn’t see any. Why would there be? 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just…I sometimes say things before I think about it. I’m sorry. I take it back.” He pleaded.

“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Why don’t you like them? You can be honest. I’m not going to judge you or anything.” She offered him a smile, reaching her hand across the table hoping he’d take it. After a moment he took it. She squeezed his hand. “Can you keep a secret?” He nodded. “I don’t always like them either. They can be really mean. It’s okay.”

“Really?” His eyes were wide again. 

“Yeah. You don’t have to like people all the time.” She took a sip of her drink. “And they obviously did something that’s gotten you really shaken up. You’ve been so tense.” 

“I don’t like the way they were treating me. I mean I’m used to fans asking for pictures and autographs and stuff. I like that. It’s fun. But I don’t like being stared at. I’m not used to that. It makes me uncomfortable. Like they can see everything. And they were being really forceful and I asked them to stop and they wouldn’t. I don’t like them. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be friends with them. And while I’m at it I just have to say,” His voices was getting louder as his speech sped up. “I thought today I could make more friends. I want to make friends. I thought maybe because you were so nice that they would be too, but no. I don’t like your school. The lights flicker and there are uneven ceiling tiles and marks on the board that are so distracting.”

“JJ,” Isabella glanced around. People were sending concerned looks their way. He didn’t stop. He kept going. She listened. He needed to get it out. She could tell as much. She hated that she had left them with him. Alone. He was so upset. He had hyped the day up so much. “JJ.” She squeezed his hand. 

“I’m sorry.” He rubbed his face with his hands and went back to sipping his water. She could kill those girls. She had never seen him like this. Of course she only saw that public figure JJ. Rarely did she see the sixteen year old kid who wanted to make friends but was instead treated like something on display. 

“It’s okay. You’re allowed to be upset. That’s really awful. I’m so sorry.” She pushed her hair behind her ear. “If it helps, high school isn’t the easiest place in the world to be. Honestly I think the cold hands of death would be much more welcome.” She chuckled softly so he didn’t think she was seriously wanting to die.

“Do you want to hear about my program?” He asked, suddenly bucking up. Isabella nodded.

Their food came and JJ barely noticed. He was going on and on about the program, the jumps, the music, the footwork. His eyes were shining so bright. It made her heart swell. He was so passionate. There was something about the way people were when they talked about something they loved. It never lost its touch. She could listen for hours. They finished their meal slowly. Isabella enjoying listening to him. JJ happily talking throughout the meal. 

“I’m sorry…am I talking too much?” His fist by him mouth once more. 

“No, you’re fine,” she let out a soft laugh. “I actually really like listening to you talk about it. It’s nice. Your eyes light up. I can tell you really like it.”

“Do you have a boyfriend?” 

The question caught her off guard. It wasn’t even related to the subject. He was vibrating just a little faster now. Her heart fluttered. Did he like her? Is that why he was asking? She could feel the blush coming to her cheeks. She covered them with her hands trying to cover up the gesture as her just resting her face in her hands. 

“I’m sorry. I just remembered it and I needed to ask you because your friends were talking to me about your love life and I started wondering is all.” 

“No.” She studied him for a reaction. He turned his face toward the wall, his chin resting in his palm, knuckles hiding his mouth. She could see the smile in his eyes though and the way his cheeks lifted around his eyes. His cheeks were just a little more colorful. 

“Okay,” he smiled. 

Her phone started vibrating in her pocket. Soft, persistent bursts. She pulled her phone out to check. Her heart sank when she saw the notifications blowing up with texts, all from the girls. Everything good drained from her. She knew what they were. The previews told her enough. She slipped her phone back in her pocket, trying hard to keep the tears back. 

“Can you take me home?” She whispered.

Isabella was thankful for the silence. She didn’t think she could talk without crying. She didn’t know what to do. How could she handle this? What had she done? Should she even read the texts? Maybe she could just delete them? No. She needed to read them. Why did they blame her for JJ leaving? She played the image of JJ so shaken up. It brought tears to her eyes. She said a silent praise to whatever being was listening for the darkness of the night masking her tears from the boy sitting next to her. All she’d ever wanted was to meet him and now here she was and she couldn’t even enjoy it. 

JJ dropped her off, insisting on walking her to the door. She didn’t see any lights on. There were no cars in the driveway. Her parents still weren’t home. She didn’t want them to come and see her hugging a boy they recognized, but she didn’t protest. It’d be worth being stuck hostessing for free. They walked silently up the driveway to the door. 

“Thank you…for everything.” JJ whispered. “Can I hug you?”

“Of course,” Isabella whispered back. 

The feeling of his arms around her, his breath on her neck stayed with her as she sat in her room in the center of her bed. Her phone clenched in her hand. Should she read the texts? Maybe she could shower first? She slipped off the bed and into the shower hoping the find some clarity surrounded by the warm water. She didn’t feel any better. She dressed quickly before turning her lights off. She would just delete them and go to sleep. Maybe watch some Netflix on her phone to help clear her mind. 

She opened the messaging app to silence all notifications and delete the messages. Her eyes caught one. She had to read it. She had to see what they had to say. She felt sick reading them. They hated her. They literally hated her. Cloe and Sophia were promising to make her life hell. Threats to go to Twitter about her. She couldn’t stop. They kept getting worse and worse. Isabella let the tears fall. She couldn’t deal with this right now. She reduced to sobs. Why were they being so mean? Another buzzing. She felt sick as she unlocked her phone. 

“I hope I didn’t upset you tonight. I really love talking to you. Again soon? Are you okay?” JJ had texted her. 

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong! It was really nice to see you. Just some stupid drama. It’s okay. I’m good. Definitely!” She responded, wiping away a few tears. 

“Okay, good. Good night. Sleep well.”

Isabella managed a smile through her tears, sending a quick reply before silencing the texts. She heard her parents come home. She pulled the blanket up around her, throwing her phone quickly to the bed side table. She turned to face away from the door so they wouldn’t realize she’d been crying. She heard the soft tap on her door, a pause and then light flooding the room. She pretended to be asleep even as her mother’s lips brushed her hair. She welcomed the soft good night from them both and the door was closed. She could feel herself drifting to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! Leave a comment and tell me what you think! Questions, concerns, thoughts, feedback? All is welcome!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I am late on this update! I'm trying to keep a week schedule but I'm a day or so late because I couldn't stop watching BTS videos. -_- I'm sorry. Anyways here ya go. It's kind of long...Oh! and I wrote a little thing with JJ's parents and him being a premie because it's a big headcanon of mine if you're interested.

The silence was the worst thing. Nobody spoke to Isabella all day. She heard whispers everywhere she went, but the silence was deafening. First period the Monday following the ordeal that was JJ meeting her friends, a note had been passed to her calling her a slut. Second period, she was deemed a whore. She heard a rumor at lunch that she and JJ had done in on the teacher’s desk in the classroom the girls had met in. The silence of her phone was unsettling, and reassuring all at once. It would go off in spurts with texts from numbers she didn’t even know bombarding her with insults. She tried to forget about it, ignore it. She prayed it would pass, but it was only getting worse. Even band practice was hard to get through. 

She silently thanked god for the bell signaling another weekend, a temporary escape. JJ had asked her to join him at the ice rink Saturday. She was looking forward to it. She didn’t particularly want to try to skate again. The first time had been so embarrassing, but she could watch him. It had always been so mesmerizing watching figure skating, but seeing it in person. It was surreal. She couldn’t believe she got to watch his practices. 

A few girls passed her in the hall, whispering and giggling under their hands. Isabella felt herself tense. This wasn’t right. She tried to brush it off and bring her thoughts back to the weekend she and JJ had planned. A movie tonight! Her heart swelled at the thought. She just had to get her parents to agree. He’d texted her last period. She tried to think what she’d tell them. She knew she couldn’t tell them the truth. They’d freak out. Maybe she’d tell them it was a date? Could it be considered a date? He didn’t say it was a date, but maybe she could still fib a little? A new friend? But both of those would probably result in her parents wanting to meet him and she just knew they wouldn’t let her go out with “the boy from the posters.” She could say she was meeting with friends. Leave it vague. Yeah, that sounded good. 

She opened her locker only to have condoms pour out onto the floor. Her cheeks burned as the full halls filled with laughs, whispers, and lewd comments. This wasn’t fair. She could hear the coughs. “Slut.” “Whore.” She willed herself to be strong. Put them in her backpack and take them to the school nurse. They’d be of more use there than in the trash. She focused on her task, blocking everything else out. She needed to put something over the vent in the locker. That way they couldn’t do these petty little pranks anymore. 

With the task finished, Isabella made her way, head held high, to the nurse’s office. She stumbled over her words as she put them in the bin the nurse had given her. She tried to find the words to tell her it was a silly, harmless prank. That she was okay and no, she really didn’t need anyone to call her parents. Please, no, nobody needed to know. It was all in fun. She was okay. It was even funny. She hated how easily the lies slipped from her tongue, but she couldn’t handle what would happen if she told. She knew this was nothing to what it could be. She wished she could blend into the crowd and just disappear.

Finally she’d broken away and ready for home. She sat on the bus, her legs pulled up in the seat, hugging her knees to her chest as she listened to music on her phone. She didn’t want to talk to anyone or be talked to for that matter. She stared out the window imagining her life being a movie. This was the part where the girl that was neither popular nor unpopular had suddenly become an outcast that was the talk of the school. How did she want her movie to go? She imagined herself joining forces with other kids who were ostracized at school and going on to speak about how bullying as not cool. It would end with her pulling all the girls together for some much needed positivity. The image of all the girls in school becoming friends and spreading more positivity made her smile, melting away all the humiliation from the day. 

As the bus neared her stop, she gathered her things ready to get home. The crisp October air was a sharp reminder that winter was soon approaching. She hated the snow and ice and impossible temperatures. Almost sixteen years and she still wasn’t used to it. Walking home from the bus stop was miserable during those freezing months. She buried her hands in her pocket and stared at her feet as she walked, humming to the music pumping through her earbuds. She was looking forward to getting to wear all the cute winter clothes. Perhaps she could talk her parents into letting her donate her warmer clothes and get some new winter clothes for the season. 

Isabella reached her home, flinging the door open. She was surprised to find her mother walking out of the kitchen on the phone. Isabella froze. Her parents were never home this early. Did they suspect something? She had only stayed out late while grounded last Friday and had made his home narrowly. Did they know that she had been out? Her heart raced. She took a few deep breaths and plastered a sweet smile on her face, waiting silently until her mother ended the call. She hugged her mother tight before pulling back out of the hung. 

“How was your day, Mama?” She asked politely, absently playing her a strand of her hair.

“Good, busy. Thank you so much for asking. How was school?” Her mother motioned to follow her to the kitchen.

“It was okay. Same old school, you know? I made a perfect score on my literature exam.” 

Isabella paused when she saw what her mother was doing. She was going to make dol sot. Her mouth was watering just from thinking about the dish. It was one of her favorites, but they rarely had it fresh due to her parents’ work schedules. She could practically hear the bowl sizzling. 

“Is Baba coming soon?” She asked immediately starting to help with the cutting vegetables. 

“Yes. We both actually got off early and wanted to spend some time with you. We’re off this weekend too.” Her mother smiled.

“Oh…” 

Crap. She had assumed she could just ask to go out with JJ and they’d say okay since they wouldn’t be home. Now the plans changed. She really didn’t want to cancel on JJ. She’d been looking forward to his for the past week. It was all that had gotten her through everything. She loved her parents, she really did, but this wasn’t fair. She had plans. Why didn’t they check with her and get off when she didn’t have plans. She wanted to cry. On one hand she did really miss them, but on the other…she wanted to be with JJ.

“You sound less than enthused,” her mother noted. “Do you not want to spend time with us?” 

“No! No, sorry, Mama, no. It’s just I had been asked to the movies tonight and I was hoping to go. And tomorrow I was going to go to the skating rink.” She lifted her eyes to her mom. “Maybe you and Baba can have a date night?”

“Ooooh you were asked to the movies?” Her mom smiled and popped a carrot in her mouth. “Was it by a boy?”

“No.” Isabella lied, leaning her head forward so her hair would fall in her face and hopefully block the blush forming on her cheeks.

“Look, if you want to go on a date, I’m sure Baba and I can find something to do. But tomorrow and Sunday, you need to promise that you’ll be here.” Her mother pulled her hair back and put it in a small bun. 

“But I have ice skating tomorrow,” Isabella frowned.

“You don’t even know how to.” 

“I’m getting lessons!” Isabella flashed a smile.

Her mother’s face fell and she shook her head. Isabella’s heart sank. That wasn’t a good reaction. That was never a good reaction. Dammit. She was going to go back on the whole thing and she’d have to tell JJ and what if he decided to move on from her? But JJ was her friend. Friend. God she’d never get used to that. 

“It’s that boy from the posters. Isn’t it,” Her mother’s eyes bore into her. 

“Mama…” 

“We’re meeting him before you go to the movies. I want to make sure he’s not going to take advantage of you.” Her mother said firmly. 

“What?” Isabella blinked. “You’re going to let me go?”

“I don’t like it, but if there’s one thing I remember about being a teenager, it’s that if I tell you no, you’ll want to do it even more and you won’t be safe about it. This way at least we can monitor it.” She took the knife from Isabella’s hand. “Invite him to dinner.” 

Isabella's heart raced. She hadn't expected this. Her parents were going to meet him? Meet JJ? What if they said something? He couldn't know she had posters of him! She would die. Literally die. She needed to hide them. Pull them down and store them away from the world. It was so embarrassing she had posters of her friend. Ugh, why did the world have to be like this? It was so unfair. But they hadn't always known each other. It'd been three weeks. Three weeks and she hadn't thought of this before? She mentally kicked herself. 

"What? Are you nervous?" Her mom nudged her. "Your father and I promise to behave." 

"Please don't embarass me." Isabella begged.

"Oh, Isabella, that's our job." Her mother winked, pulling her into a one armed hug and kissing her temple. "Now go call him and invite him. Get yourself all cute and dolled up. Leave dinner to me, okay? Let me know if you need anything. I would love to help." 

"Maaaaama," Isabella groaned, cover her face, trying to hide her burning cheeks. 

"You want to go see a movie and skate with this boy, do you not?" 

"Yes." 

"Then invite him to dinner so we can at least have a good description if you get kidnapped," her mother joked. 

"Fine. But don't say anything about the posters. Or that I always watch his matches. Or that I like him like that!" Isabella pleaded. "I'll die. Do you want to bury your only child? With no grandchildren?" Isabella flashed her mom a pleading grin. 

Her mother let out a fake exacerbated sigh and nodded. "I suppose we won't mention that. We do want grandchildren. Is this the future father of our future grandchildren?"

"Mama!" Isabella's eyes were wide. 

"I'm only joking, sweetheart. Now go." 

Isabella hugged her mother tightly thanking her profusely before running up the stairs to her room. She dialed JJ’s number as she rushed around her room carefully removing the posters from her walls. She stopped as he answered, his voice dripping with excitement.

“Isabella!” 

“Hi, JJ!” She couldn’t help, but smile. “How are you doing?”

“Great! How are you? Did you get to ask your parents?”

“I can go.” Isabella stared at the poster of JJ, grinning with his signature JJ style pose. “But they want you to join us for dinner first. You can totally say no. I know that’s so lame to hang out with your parents, but my mom makes really good dol sot and it’s like my favorite thing.” Her words slurred together. 

“You don’t like to hang out with your parents?” JJ sounded genuinely concerned.

“Um…no.” Isabella frowned. 

“Why? Are they not nice?”

“No, they’re great. It’s just…I’m fifteen and it’s embarrassing.” JJ was quiet for a moment. Isabella’s heart raced. Why didn’t he get this? 

“My parents are my best friends. Especially my mom. Like we talk and hang out and skate and watch movies and stuff. Like…have you seen my Instagram?” Isabella confirmed. “My parents are on there a lot with me. Like we’re having a lot of fun. It’s not embarrassing?”

“Oh, that’s really nice.” Isabella tugged on her sleeve. “It’s just like…most teenagers don’t want to? It’s not weird or anything.”

“I’ll come to dinner. What time? Text me your address!” 

Isabella confirmed the time and place with him before letting him go and texting him the address and time once more. She pulled up her music app and started up her favorite group, BTS, and tried to decide on what to wear. It was so hard. She wanted to look nice, but not too nice. She’d never had a date before. Was this a date? He hadn’t said it was a date? Why did she feel like they were? It was just wishful thinking, but it was so frustrating. 

Isabella decided on a purple sleeveless dress that fell about halfway down her thighs. She pulled on some black stockings and a black leather jacket before deciding on what to do with her hair. She sighed and looked at herself in the mirror. Why was she doing this? After all the last time she and JJ had done anything she'd been wearing skinny jeans and a hoodie. Her hair wasn't perfect and her makeup definitely wasn't. She knew by the end of the school day she looked like crap. She wanted to look cute. She wanted him to tell her she was beautiful again like he had that first time. She felt strange thinking about it. She had always been the type of girl who thought doing things for boys was silly and immature. And yet here she was. She felt fake and like a hypocrite. 

She glanced at her phone, seeing more texts filling the notifications. Was this worth it? This wasn't who she was. Losing friends over a guy? Having everyone talking about her? But what was wrong with her wanting to look nice for him? She couldn't find a single reason. Everything that popped into her head made her feel sick. And her friends had no right to be acting the way they were. She hadn't done anything wrong. If she wanted to get dressed up so JJ would think she was beautiful, then she would. It made her feel good. She liked it. This was fun when she didn't think about it so much. And if she wanted to be friends with him or more, then she would. They had the chance. She'd introduced them. They were they ones who'd blown that. She didn't even know what they did, but JJ was so shaken up. 

She took a deep breath and played with her hair for a moment trying to decide what she wanted to do before deciding on a single braid to the side pulled back into a small bun. She pulled a few strands from the opposite side to fall along the side of her face in a frame. She touched up her eyeliner and mascara before putting on some red lip gloss. She looked at herself in the mirror for the finished product and smiled. She looked very nice. 

A light tap on her door before it was pushed open a bit as her mother peered in. Isabella let her know she was dressed before her mom slipped into the room. Her face errupted into a large smile as she cupped Isabella's face for a moment before hugging her.

"You look so grown up!" She gushed. "My baby girl is turning into a beautiful young woman." 

"Mama, don't make me cry!" Isabella laughed, blinking back the tears. 

It wasn't often her mother acted this way. Really it wasn't often that her mother talked to her at all about this kind of thing. Usually it was about her day or her friends or what her plans were for the future. Things that were more practical and less superficial. Isabella had been raised her whole life to value herself based on merits rather than looks. She'd been grateful, but now as she was getting older, she felt herself caring more and more about how she looked.

"He's here," her mom whispered. "He's cute!" 

"As if you didn't know what he looked like..." Isabella rolled her eyes playfully. 

"Well yeah, but it's different in person! And he's so polite and well spoken? Your father is talking to him right now. Let's go down and save him, shall we?"

"Oh god..." Isabella covered her face. This was embarrassing. 

She followed her mother down the stairs to the living room where JJ was sitting on the couch next to her father talking about something. JJ had a smile on his face, but by the way he was shaking his foot, Isabella could tell he was uncomfortable. He looked up, his face freezing for a minute when he saw her. His eyes sparkled and his smile grew about five sizes. He just jumped up and hugged her tightly.

"Hi Isabella! I was just talking to your dad about his job! You didn’t tell me he was a doctor! That’s so cool!" He gushed. 

Isabella wanted to roll her eyes. He was sucking up to her dad. Why? Maybe she wasn't crazy to think they could be more than friends. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought. He crossed his arms, his eyes flying between the three of them. 

"So what are we having?" He asked, rocking slightly. 

"Dol sot! My mom makes the best dol sot ever. Have you ever had it?" Isabella asked with a smile.

"Nope! But it smells delicious." 

Isabella followed her mother who led them into the dining room. As she went to sit, JJ pulled the chair out for with a wink. Her breath hitched. She couldn't believe he was doing this with her parents right there. She sat down offering him thanks. She stared at the table, not daring to meet her parents' eyes. The last thing she wanted was to see them staring at her or eyeing JJ. 

She had never felt more aware of herself. She wondered if her hair or makeup was messed up. Even after her mother put the bowls on the table and the sound of the sizzling rice and the smell of the chili sauce didn't help pull her thoughts away very far. She ate quietly, politely interjecting when needed as JJ and her parents conversed. 

"So Jean-Jacques," her mother began.

"Please, call me JJ." He smiled.

"Um...I'm sorry...Mr. Yang and I don't really care much for nicknames if that's okay?" Her mother offered a polite smile.

"Oh...well it's just nobody calls me Jean-Jacques except at competitions...oh and when I'm in trouble at home." He let out a soft laugh.

"Well now we do," She smiled crinkling her eyes just a bit. 

"Mama...please." Isabella begged.

"It's alright," JJ shifted slightly. "I get it." 

"Thank you. So Jean-Jacques, what do your parents do? Isabella tells us they were also professional skaters in their youth."

"Yeah! They did figure skating in their teens and started doing ice dancing together in their twenties. They actually got into the Olympics two times! They were super good, but they retired when they were like twenty-nine which is really good for a professional athlete. And then they had me. My dad owns the skating rink near Concordia and teaches kids skating. Sometimes he'll coach, but not very often. My mom went to college for education and used to be a grade 7 teacher, but she quit when I was like five because she home schooled me. She's really good. They both coach me. More so my dad than my mom though. She has a lot on her plate. My dad can be like really intense for coaching because he wants me to do well and I really appreciate that. My mom though, she takes a different approach and I really like that. But they're both amazing." JJ rambled on quickly almost seemingly without taking a breath. 

He looked up and between the two adults, who were staring at him with stunned faces, before looking pained for a second and hunching over slightly. His body was vibrating again. The same way it had when they had gone to that restaurant for poutine and burgers. Why was he so nervous? Her parents seemed to like him. It didn't make a lot of sense. He shifted again.

"Sorry, I sometimes talk too much," he muttered. 

"It's quite alright," Her mother said. "You said your mother home schools you and they both coach you."

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Are you terribly close?"

"Oh yes, ma'am!" JJ perked up slightly. "They're my best friends. I talk to them about everything. I love them so much. They have done so much for me and I don't think I can ever repay them." 

Both of Isabella’s parents turned to her giving her an expecting look. She wanted to die. Just because JJ was close to his parents didn’t mean most teenagers didn’t want to hang out with them. Hell most would rather die than be seen with their parents in public. She wished JJ hadn’t mentioned that. Now her parents were going to be using that against her next time they decided they wanted to family time. This weekend was going to be riddled with it. She could just tell. She slid down in her seat slightly. Could they just finish eating so they could leave?

“That’s very nice, Jean-Jacques.” Her mother smiled.

“Yeah. This food is so delicious, Mme. Kim!” JJ complimented.

“Thank you. It’s a very easy dish.” Her mother’s smile widened. 

“Mr. Yang, you were telling me about you being a doctor at the children’s hospital. What kind of doctor are you?” JJ asked politely. 

“Neonatologist. Newborns. Usually they’re very sick or premature. I’ve been doing it about twenty years now.”

“You’re kidding!” JJ gasped. “I was a premie! My mom got really sick when she was pregnant with me and we both almost died. I was like super early. I think my mom said she was only like twenty-five or twenty-six weeks. It was a lot for them.”

“Really?” Her father’s eyebrows raised. “Twenty-five weeks? And you’re a professional athele?”

“Yes, sir!” JJ smiled. “A lot of people who took care of me through everything and my parents think it’s a miracle.” 

“Do you mind if I ask if there was a lot you’ve had to deal with? See today we see more and more premies having good outcomes, but when I first started my career, we could never be too sure about outcomes. And even down having such a good outcome is not all that common.” 

“Um…well yeah. I mean…but I don’t really notice anything because you know like that’s just how it’s been? I don’t really like to dwell on it though, you know? I’m just like I gotta just do what I have to.”  


JJ shifted slightly and went back to eating. Isabella tried not to slide deeper into her chair. She could see how uncomfortable he was. She wanted the conversation to end so they could finish eating and go. Luckily the conversation turned to her mother’s career. She really didn’t get why they were talking about their jobs like it was the most important thing in the world. Maybe that’s how it was when you were an adult. But then again, she really did want to be a journalist. And JJ did seem to love his career. She was so ready for the moment they were able to leave, she practically dragged JJ to the car.

………….

The theater smelled of popcorn and sweets. A gentle hum of quiet conversations among the people already seated greeted them. It wasn't nearly as crowded as JJ had anticipated. He let out the breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding. He really didn't like crowded theaters. They were stuffy and people always got annoyed with him easily. The last time he'd gone to the movies, a woman had glared at him and made a rude comment that had ruined his day. He hadn't been able to get it off his mind. He hadn't been to an evening movie since. Or during a holiday or vacation from school. The last thing he wanted was for Isabella to think poorly of him. 

He followed Isabella down a middle row with a bar in front of the seats. She sat down and smiled up at him. He smiled back, sitting down and immediately putting his feet on the bar. He was so nervous. What if she found him annoying like everyone else he knew? What if she decided he wasn't as cool as she'd once thought and abandoned him? He didn't want to go through that again. He liked her so much. He was tired of not having friends. And this nice girl who had a smile that could bring about world peace was interested in him. She actually wanted to get to know him! She wasn't like the people who loved him from a far and spent only minutes with him as they got their pictures and autographs. She liked him. She wanted to know him. The thought was dizzying. 

 

He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to say something stupid. Isabella was nice, but she wasn't a saint. He knew all too well that when he started talking about something that nobody cared about, they wouldn't listen. They would find him annoying. He said the wrong thing at the wrong times. People didn't like it. He tried to hold back, but he couldn't. And it didn't always seem wrong until it was out. He didn't want to upset Isabella nor did he want to make her annoyed or think he was stupid. 

"What kind of movies are your favorite?" Isabella chimed in, breaking the racing thoughts.

"Um...I really like comedies. What about you?"

“Dramas and thrillers!” 

“Like those scary movies with the ghosts?” JJ’s eyes were huge. Isabella couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle. “You really have the cutest laugh,” JJ noted. Her laugh made his heart flutter slightly. He wanted to hear it more often. And her smile…

“Thank you.” Isabella blushed. 

As the lights dimmed, JJ couldn’t help but think about that blush. Did she like him? Maybe he could just ask her out tonight. He didn’t care that it had only been three weeks. He knew he loved her. He wanted to kiss. Her lips looked so soft. She always smelled so nice. He didn’t like to text her because he didn’t get to hear her voice. He imagined it. How amazing would it be to be able to call her whenever he wanted and not have worry? If she would just give him a chance. Was tonight the night?

He felt her hand on his. His heart leapt. He glanced over and she gave him a reassuring smile. She leaned over and whispered in his ear asking if he was okay and if her parents are riled him up. The feeling of her lips so close to his ear and her breath on his skin made him shiver. He was going to do it. He had to. 

“I’m sorry if they messed with you or got you nervous,” She frowned. 

“Not nervous!” He forced a smile. 

Dammit. He needed to calm down. Stay still. He was nervous but that wasn’t why he was moving. Ugh. He hugged himself, sliding into the seat. He tried to focus on the movie. Focus on not moving. He closed his eyes taking deep breaths as he felt every muscle in his body start to scream to move. A slight ache consuming him. He shifted slightly trying to find just a little relief to little avail. He pulled his feet off the railing and hid them under his seat. Maybe this way she wouldn’t notice him bouncing his legs. No. She looked at him. Shit. He leaned back trying to make himself look casual. He could do this. Just be still. Just don’t move. Focus. Be normal for once. Don’t make a fool of yourself. He needed this to go well.

He pulled his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them. Maybe this would be better. He stared at the screen, trying desperately to focus. To stay still. To not feel like everyone in the theater was staring at him. He heard whispering behind him. Were they talking about him? Was he being distracting? Were they annoyed? He felt the anxiety rising. Breathe. In. Out. He buried his face in his arms trying to acclimate himself to his surroundings. He couldn’t do this. 

He jumped up out of his seat walked toward the exit. He just needed to go outside. He needed to be away from people. Why did he think going to a movie was a good idea? He knew himself. He knew how distracting he could be. He was painfully aware. It didn’t matter what his parents said. He didn’t matter that people loved him. Fuck that. They wouldn’t like him if they really knew him. Just take everyone in the juniors. He knew the seniors weren’t going to be any different even if he did try. 

The cold night air met him. He just kept walking, trying to pay attention to anything else. He just needed to take a minute to gather himself. He leaned against the wall of the theater, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. He just needed to calm down. Why did he think he could be still? He knew what happened. Why was he acting like this? Why was he even taking a chance? There was no way in the world that a girl like Isabella would ever go for a guy like him. 

“JJ?” 

He opened his eyes to find Isabella standing in front of him, hugged her jacket around herself. He could see her breath in the air. Was it really that cold? She was looking at him with a concerned look on her face. He could have died. He hated that look. He hate people feeling bad for him. He was so sick of letting people in only to get that look. It was inevitable. He knew that. 

“Are you okay?” Isabella took a hesitant step forward. 

“I’m fine,” He tried to force a smile, but he couldn’t. “I’m sorry. I…” He swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“Do you want to go?” She asked softly. 

“Isabella, I like you. I like you a lot.” JJ blurted. Shit. Her eyes widened. 

“Oh, um…I like you a lot too.”

“I have to tell you something because you deserve to know, okay? Because I’m not who you think or really who anyone thinks, okay? And I’m tired of just not saying anything and then people getting tired of me because it always happens and I can’t deal with it again.” He could feel everything pouring out. He couldn’t hold back if he tried. Not right now.

“Okay,” Isabella nodded. 

“Remember how I told you I was born early? Like when we had dinner with your family?” She nodded. “I have problems from that, okay? Like I have issues with focusing on things and issues with learning things because if I don’t get care, I literally cannot learn. And I have ADHD and anxiety. Like super bad ADHD. Like I can’t sit still without a panic attack bad.” He felt a pressure build inside him. He couldn’t shake it. He started pacing. “And like I had issues for the longest time. My parents pulled me out of school because I’m too fucked up to go to normal school and then I lost like four coaches in a span of six months because I can’t be normal for five minutes. Nobody likes me, Isabella. I don’t have friends because I do not have a filter. I mean I’ve gotten better, but I know I don’t. It’s like so hard to control it. That’s a filter coming in too. I get sensory overloaded if I’m not careful because I literally was born in overload. I can’t change it. There’s not a thing I do about it. I’ve been seeing a behavioral therapist for the longest time and it’s helping, but it’s never going to go away. And I don’t know I just…I’m sorry I took you to the movies only to sit here and cry over myself. I’m sorry. And if you never want to talk to me again…I understand.”

……………….  
Isabella stared at him in shock. She had no idea. She couldn’t speak. He just stared at her, his body trembling, watching her, tears glistening in his eyes. She didn’t know what to say. She would have never expected in a million years that JJ would be dealing with so much. He was such a happy, confident person. She was used to a smile being plastered on his face and in his eyes. This was real. This was so real. She took a few steps toward him and took his hands. 

“It’s okay,” she said. 

“It…It is?” He whispered.

“Of course. You can’t help that. And you’re such a kind person. Why would that matter?” 

“Wow…” He let out a laugh, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry. I usually don’t react like this. Honestly I don’t usually mind everything. It’s just…” 

“I get it. It’s okay. I mean that’s part of who you are? That’s part of what makes you you and if people don’t see what an amazing person you are, then fuck them. I mean you are always so nice to everyone. I’ve never heard of anyone thinking you were mean to them. You volunteer your time. You’re sweet and funny. And I love spending time with you. So you don’t sit still? So you say thinking before thinking?” She desperately hoped she wasn’t overstepping, but she needed him to understand. 

“It’s just in the past I’ve had trouble making friends and the friends I do make I lose because I get annoying. And I like…I get clingy.” He brought his eyes up to meet hers.

“Stop.” She smiled

“What?”

“Say it,” She laughed throwing up the JJ pose.

“No…” He shook his head laughing. 

“Come on!” JJ sighed covering his face as he tried to calm his laughter.

“It’s JJ style!” 

“It is.” She beamed, hugging him tightly. “Do you want to go back in? You can be as bouncy as you want.”

JJ frowned for a minute before nodding and taking her hand. They went back in and found their seats. Isabella couldn’t concentrate on the movie. She was too busy trying to calm her own mind and heart. He’d opened up to her. He said he liked her a lot. This was her favorite date with JJ yet. She didn’t care if they were officially dates. In her mind, these were dates. She felt so lucky to be here with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Hopefully I'll be better about updating on time next week! Leave a comment! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo a day early this time! :) I hope y'all enjoy this. Heads up to prepare yourselves. JJ's having a bad mental health day in this chapter.

There was something about the ice that made JJ feel free. There wasn't the usual tension. He didn't feel distracted and his body never begged to move. On ice, he was able to be in the moment. The cold air on his skin first thing in the morning when he first walked into the rink for practice was more refreshing than anything he could think of. Even when his body had warmed from the exertion, the cold air in his airway was enough. Each twist and turn, he imagined what it must be like for other people in the world who weren't impaired just a bit. The jumps felt like he was flying and there were no strings attached. Ice skating was the best thing in the world, better than any therapy JJ had ever experienced. He was determined to do well, determined to push himself and always get better. Because when he was on the ice, he was talented and smart and stood out. He never felt stupid here, or like it was too much. He never felt overstimulated here. It was just...perfect.

He pushed himself to pick up speed, pushing off the ice at just the right angle. He felt his body spin through the air. One, two, three rotations. Stick the landing. He stopped frowning, brushing the sweat off his forehead. He needed to stick these quads more consistently in practice. What was he doing wrong? He'd gotten the speed. He had been certain of that. Height.

"JJ, you need to just give a little more forced to get that height, but it was a perfectly beautiful triple! Perfect form and landing." His father called to him. 

JJ nodded. Of course. He tried again, starting his program from just before he was going to do the quadruple salchow. This time he got it. He smiled to himself as he continued on. He could do this. He had to be perfect. He refused to be anything less. If it took all day, he'd do it. Just to get his program flawless. He needed to be flawless if he was going to compete with the best skaters the world had to offer. 

The fact he was able to participate was beyond amazing. He couldn't wait to compete. Competitions were so fun. He loved how the air was different. It was excited and nervous and tense all at once. People cheered from the crowd. His heart always leaped for joy when he saw the crowd holding up signs and flags for him. It sometimes did get to be a bit much though. There were times he'd feel every inch of his skin his clothing touched and wanted to scream from the sensation and pull it off. There were other times when he felt like there was too much attention on him. Those were the times his mom would push a cup into his hand. He'd find a quiet place to sip the cocoa and maybe listen to comforting music. Sometimes he'd go watch the other skaters, getting lost in the beauty of it all. 

He finished his program, not able to keep the smile off his face. He knew he'd done it perfectly this time. His dad complemented him and instructed him to go over once more which he gladly did. There were days he wanted to scream and cry and break down when he was told to do it once more. Those days he felt like a failure, as though he hadn't done it as well as he should have. He'd feel so anxious and aware of everything. Those days he ended up messing up even the simplest of things. But most days he was happy to do it again and again until he physically couldn't do it anymore without rest. Today was one of those days. 

He lost track of time, of how many times he practiced certain things. All he knew was he was having fun and enjoying his time. He didn't want to stop, groaning as Alain called him off the ice telling him it was getting late and they needed to open up to the public. JJ frowned and did one last quad before making his way to the edge and walking off. He changed out of his skates, starting to feel the ache in his body. He had practiced so much. His parents rarely had to push him to keep going. Usually they were the ones begging him for a break or to call it a day. This resulted in him feeling very sore for the rest of the day, but a good sore. A sore he wanted to feel more. It meant he was getting better, that his training was going to get results. 

"You did amazing today, JJ," Alain praised, rubbing the boy's shoulders. 

"Thanks!" JJ smiled, leaning into the massage. 

"Be sure to stretch, okay?" 

JJ nodded. His father stepped away telling him was going to let Renee know that it was safe to let in the patrons. JJ leaned forward and stared at the ice. It was calling to him, begging him for more. If he could just be closer...

He watched as kids and family trickled in as he stretched. Small kids were eager and unsteady, grabbing for their parents' hands. JJ remembered the first time he was able to skate on his own. He had been trying so hard and he finally did it. It was his earliest memory. He had been three. Just the pure pride he'd felt and the excitement that he had done it. He still remembered how it felt to have his parents praise him, hugging him tightly. He always felt comfortable here. 

He gathered his things and walked out of the rink. Renee was sitting at the desk, playing on her phone. JJ sat down on the counter and smiled at her, waiting for her to notice.

"Welcome to Ice World. What size...Oh, good morning, JJ," She offered a smile, her eyes immediately going back to her phone.

"Good morning!" JJ smiled. “How are you? Who are you texting? Are you supposed to be on your phone? I thought Papa didn’t like that?”

“He also doesn’t like your ass print all over the counter and yet here we are,” She smirked. “Serious, get off.”

“Renee, seriously! How are you and who are you texting? Do you have a boyfriend? A girlfriend maybe?” JJ leaned forward trying to look at the screen.

“JJ, I meant what I said when you were ten. No, I will not date you. I know you think now you’re twelve and that means you’re somehow older, but no. Still no.” Renee pocketed her phone.

“I’m sixteen…” JJ deadpanned. He sighed and slid off the desk. “And I haven’t had a crush on you since I was actually twelve so…” He shrugged and zipped up his jacket, his body cooling now that he’d finished training. 

“Oh really?” Renee looked shocked. “I could have sworn you were twelve!”

“No,” JJ let out a soft laugh. “Hey, we’re friends, right?”

“I work for your parents and have known you for the past six years,” she offered.

“Okay, well see, I need your help.” He pulled on his sleeves. 

He waited silently as Renee checked some patrons in giving them a polite smile and greeting to complement Renee’s. He high-fived the little kids coming in with their parents, kneeling down to talk to them. He loved kids. They were so innocent, so kind. They’d see him and want to give high-fives or ask for a hug. It was amazing. The kids seemed so excited as they asked him if he was doing a class today. He hated to let them down by telling them no, but the smiles on their face when he told them Saturday morning he would be doing a clinic for the kids more than made up for it. These kids really did love skating. It warmed his heart. The family led the children down the hall toward the rink. He sighed and watched them go.

“So you needed my help?” Renee swatted his arm to get his attention. 

“Oh! Yeah! Okay…how do I ask someone to be my girlfriend? Like how would you want a guy to ask you to be his girlfriend? Or a girl. I don’t know. Whatever you’re into you. You never tell me. You know you’re a really bad friend.” JJ joked. 

“JJ, honey, sweetheart, kid, you’re like twelve.”

“I’m sixteen…” JJ giggled. 

“Whatever. Same thing. Look, I think it’s sweet and all, but no. I’m twenty-three and I can’t be dating a child.” Renee batted her eye lashes at him with a smile.

“I’m serious, Renee! Focus.”

“Funny that you’re the one telling me to focus, Jean-Jacques.” Renee frowned. 

JJ stared at her, stunned. He had known her for years. She started working for his parents when she was in high school and now was attending Concordia. She’d always been nice to him and of course they joked around almost like siblings, but she’d never once poked fun at him for real things. He didn’t know how to continue. Was he bothering her? Maybe he should just go home? His mom was expecting him back soon for his lessons, but he just really wanted to talk to Renee about this one thing. It was so important and he couldn’t ask his mom. 

“Oh…” He pushed his hands in his pockets and glued his eyes to the ground. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was bothering you. I’ll go now, okay? Have a good day.”

“JJ, wait!” She grabbed his arm. “I’m sorry. I took that too far. I’m sorry. I’m just not a morning person and you know, maybe I just don’t want to talk much right now, but for you I have time, okay? I’m sorry.”

“Really? You mean it? I swear I won’t tell my parents if that’s what you think.” 

Renee frowned and shook her head. “I know you wouldn’t. But no, I’m sorry. Who’s the girl?”

JJ felt himself brighten up almost immediately as he hopped back onto the counter, sitting cross legged facing her talking a mile a minute about Isabella. How smart she was and how much she wanted to go to Concordia too. They talked about Concordia for a few minutes too. JJ taking mental notes he hoped he’d remember to talk to Isabella about. He described every feeling he got around Isabella. How her smile made his heart flutter and her laugh made him so happy. He talked about how expressive her eyes were and how much he loved how they sparkled when she laughed, and how her eyes scrunched when she smiled. He talked about how he wanted so badly to kiss her, but was scared he was going too fast. Lastly he talked about how much he wanted asking her out to be the best moment of her life. 

“Wow…” Renee sat back in her chair. “I wish someone would talk about me the way you talk about this girl. She’s the one who came with you to the rink that one day, right? That day your dad seemed so worried?” JJ nodded. 

“Papa was worried?” He frowned.

“Yeah, well you know how your parents are. They are so protective of you and the twins. More you though. I don’t know if you know that. But anyway, um, for this girl…what does she like? Start with that and plan something from that. Or you know you could just ask her like a normal person. Not everything you do needs to be over the top, kiddo.” Renee messed his hair.

“Well I want it to be. Because…” JJ shrugged. “That’s who I am. I like big gestures. You know I pour myself into things. Come on, please help me.”

“Have you ever watched the sunrise or set from Mont Royal?” Renee asked after a moment. “It’s very beautiful. I think it’d be really romantic. A picnic dinner or breakfast on the mountain together watching Montreal wake or sleep. Honestly…I would probably die if someone did that. Maybe play some music to set the mood. You have to have sparkling grape juice. Drink it out of those Champaign glances to be fancy. I’m sure your parents have some flutes you could steal.” She flashed him a grin. “Or I could loan you some.”

The idea was perfect. JJ could imagine it. Gosh, the idea seemed like something out of a movie. He leaned forward suddenly throwing his arms around her and planting a kiss on her cheek in gratitude. He resisted her pushing out of the hug for just a moment before pulling back a big smile on his face. Renee smoothed her clothes and gave him an annoyed look before pulling her phone back out of her pocket.

“You’re welcome. Now go away. I’m working.” She muttered. 

JJ laughed gently, pulling his own phone out of his pocket and drafted a text to Isabella to see if she was up for getting together that evening. He wondered what he should pack for their picnic dinner. Maybe he could just pick something up from a restaurant? No that was too impersonal. Maybe his mom would let him cook something he could take! She could help him if he needed it. He would take the blanket he used to curl up on the couch for them to sit on. It was so soft. Isabella would love it. He imagined the way the setting sun would shine on her hair and the way her eyes would reflect the dimming light. It was almost too much. 

“Jean-Jacques, get off the counter and get home now! You’re over an hour late for your lessons. Your mother has stuff to do, not just wait around for you to go home when you please!” Alain scolded. “And you’re on your phone and ignoring your mother’s texts. She’s been worried.”

JJ’s heart skipped from being startled. He slid off the counter bidding Renee farewell. He called an apology to his father and headed home. He didn’t realize he’d missed the texts from his mom. He remembered now that while he was talking to Renee his phone had buzzed a few times, but he was so into the conversation. He hadn’t meant to worry her. He hated getting in trouble. Hated the way his either of his parents’ faces would look. The frustration he knew they hid written so evidently across their face. 

He slipped through the front door, bracing himself for his mother to scold him too. The house was still besides the sound of the dishwasher running. He closed the door behind him, calling for her to let him know he was home. She emerged from the kitchen, making a beeline for him and hugging him tightly. He hugged her back, closing his eyes and feeling himself calm at her embrace. Since he could remember her hugs could bring him out of the worst of his anxiety or overload. 

“I was so worried!” She slapped his arms gently. 

“I’m so sorry, Maman! I started talking to Renee about Isabella and I lost track of time.” He frowned. 

“And my calls? My texts?” She crossed her arms. 

“…Maman…” He bit the inside of his cheeks. “I was distracted and I’m sorry.” 

Nathalie frowned, shook her head. She pulled him into another hug and kissed his cheek. “I love you, JJ.”

“I love you too.” 

He followed her into the study and sat down at the table. He wasn’t looking forward to the lesson today. He opened up his laptop and logged into the modules. These days he was doing more online stuff for school than when he was younger. His mother would go over the lesson of the day, pausing to let him have time to work through the modules and helping him when he got stuck. It had gotten a lot easier over the years. He didn’t have nearly as many breakdowns. He understood things better now and the program that his mom had got him on was specifically made for students like him, suited to his needs. He liked how visual it was and how it was very interactive. This also made it easier for his mom since she didn’t have to keep logs the same way she had when he was little to prove he’d hit at least the minimum requirements for each grade level. 

The thing he hated most was the literature composition course. He loathed writing papers. In the past his mother had let him do oral presentations rather than writing essays and literary critiques, but now that he was at the high school level he had to physically write them. He hated it. It was the most frustrating thing. His mother would make him take breaks more frequently when he was having to write. He remembered when he was little how when he’d start having issues with focusing, she’d have him go in the outside in the backyard and run around for fifteen minutes to get his energy out. Now he’d just pace the room, trying not to cry. 

He hated school. He hated that he had to learn things that were so boring. Honestly he didn’t get why he needed to know any of this. He was a figure skater. He could do that for his entire life in some capacity. Once he had to retire, he already planned to coach. He could take over the rink for his dad too. Ice skating was everything. Who needed to know how to write an essay? Why did he need to understand such complicated math? Why did learning about dead people and politicians matter? Who cared if he could spell in both French and English? He could speak them couldn’t he? Now there was voice to text. But at least he could text Isabella. 

His parents told him daily that school was important. Explained why he needed to know these things. But it never made sense. His mother had gotten her degree in education and when he was younger she’d gotten a certification in special education. He hated that term more than anything else. He hated knowing that he was in that classification. He hated being reminded of it. His dad had a degree in business, but all he did was continue his ice skating career in a different capacity. Why did it matter? 

“JJ, sweetheart, are you alright? Let’s have lunch, okay?” His mother interrupted his thoughts. 

“I hate this…” He mumbled, brushing away tears angrily. 

“I know, but you’re doing so well. Come on, let’s have lunch?” 

JJ nodded and followed her to the kitchen. He hopped on the counter, kicking his legs as he watched her. He wondered if she was happy. Did her life turn out the way she wanted? She deserved to be happy. She deserve a better son. One that wasn’t so stupid. One that remembered to come home. One that didn’t get so distracted he inadvertently ignored her. She loved him, sure, but only because she had to. He’d ruined her. She’d quit her job she loved because of him. She had spent years dealing with him. Suddenly every moment of him melting down played in his mind on loop.

He could feel the frustration waning as he watched his mother put together the ornate lunch. She always made sure that he had food that was full of nutrients, but low on added sugar. That didn't stop him from drowning stuff in maple syrup. It wasn't added sugar if it was natural, right? He leaned forward trying to clear his head of all the racing negative thoughts as he focused on taking deep breaths like his therapist had told him to do. It was so hard. 

"Maman?" He said, his voice just above a whisper. 

"What is it, baby?" She asked, turning to face him. 

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" He hated seeing her look at him like that. Her eyebrows knitted in concern, her eyes soft in worry. 

"For being dumb. And for getting so frustrated so easily. And crying."

"Do not talk about yourself like that." She scolded gently. She took his face gently and kissed his forehead. "You're a very smart boy. You want to know a secret? Even people who learn very easily get frustrated. You know your brother and sister get angry about their homework too and they're in advanced courses. They learn easily. They don't have to try as hard. Everyone gets frustrated sometimes."

"But it happens all the time." JJ huffed, hugging himself. 

"You act like getting frustrated is a problem. You know how most people deal with frustration, JJ?" She paused. He shook his head. "They give up. When have you ever given up? Never. You don't. You try and try and try. And you get it. That is the most impressive thing to me."

JJ thought about it. That was true. He refused to ever give up on something. If someone told him he couldn't do something, he had to prove them wrong. Still there were days he just felt like he couldn't do anything right. Some days that he just felt like the dumbest person in the world. Because the lessons seemed so simple when his mom was talking to him, but when he went to do the work it was like he was reading some alien language not found on the planet. He hated how school made him feel. His mother was right though. He wasn't about to stop trying. His grades were decent too. Mostly A's and B's. Occasionally he'd end a course with a C or D. 

His mind drifted to Isabella. She was the smartest person he'd ever met. She wanted to be a journalist! She was a go-getter like him too. Isabella Yang knew what she wanted and she wasn't going to let anything get in her way. Ever. She was passionate too. But she wanted to go to college. She wanted to get this fancy job that would take her all over while she wrote columns on things she enjoyed or the news. Why would she ever want to date someone like him? He had no desire to go to college. He had found what he loved to do and he didn't need to go to college to achieve that. He knew all college would do is give him constant anxiety attacks and crying and crush him.

He wished he hadn't texted Isabella about that evening. JJ was sure he was going to make a mockery of himself and lose the only friend he had that was his own age. Maybe he could tell her something came up? But he wanted to see her so badly. She was so nice and so pretty and she made him so happy. He didn't know what to do. 

Nothing was looking up. Even after he'd finally gotten through his lessons successfully, he didn't feel any better. He just felt anxious and wanted to cry. He had even excused himself to his room telling his mom he just needed a nap. He knew she knew it was bullshit. He didn't take naps. He didn't sleep much at all. He hated sleeping. He was probably the only person in the world who hated to sleep. He curled up on his bed and let the tears flow. Why couldn't he just get past it? Why did something as stupid as forgetting to go home for lessons ruin his day so much? Why was he like this? 

He watched a movie on his phone before he'd finally calmed enough that he knew tears were going to pour out. He glanced at the time. His siblings would be home soon. He had a little bit of time to just talk to his mom alone in peace. 

He sneaked out of his room, down the stairs to the living room where his mother was watching one of her television dramas she liked so much. He sat down next to her without a word. She put her arm around him and he gladly curled up against her, his head resting on her shoulder. 

"Did you get to nap?" She asked, her voice soft.

"No." He admitted, staring blankly at the TV. 

He closed his eyes as his mother stroked his hair. She really was the best at making him feel better. Just being close to her, he felt like he was a little kid again and she was wiping away his tears after another meltdown. He focused on his breathing, focused how the air felt going in and out of his lungs. There the soft rise and fall of her chest that he could picture himself being lulled into calm. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked softly. 

"There's not really anything to talk about." He sighed. "I'm just having a not good day. And it's like I can't think positively about anything. And I just wonder why I'm even trying because I just feel like an idiot. I can't even remember to come home. Like why do I think I can do anything? I think I can make the National Team again this year, but that's a joke. I'm not that good. They were idiots to let me in last year. I mean who lets a fifteen year old on the team? And then I'm thinking why am I even trying? I messed up a lot in practice today. Papa said it was good, and I thought it was. Only now I think he was just being nice. And why does Isabella talk to me? I'm so annoying. She's so smart and pretty and nice and amazing and what am I? I'm nothing."

He let the tears fall once more. He hated these days. His psychiatrist wasn't convinced he had depression since these days were far and few between, but when it hit, he couldn't shake it. He hated himself so much on days like this. 

"JJ..." 

That was it. Nothing else. No other words. Just his name and a hug. She agreed. He knew it. If his mom agreed, then he was right. God, he just needed to tell Isabella he was a loser and just let her go. Spare her. 

"I'm sorry you're having a bad day, but I want you to know none of it is true." JJ sighed, letting out a groan. "I'm serious. You're a very talented skater and it's amazing that you placed so young. You work so hard for it. I never had half your work ethic. You got caught in a conversation with Renee. That's okay. And you got an 89% average for all of today's lessons combined. If Isabella didn't want to be your friend, she wouldn't pretend. You're a smart, capable, amazing, sweet boy and I will not have you saying such things about yourself."

The door flung open and the twins ran in, throwing their backpacks to the side and making their path straight for the couch. JJ forced a smile, not wanting to let them know how horrible he was feeling. He hugged his brother tightly and messed his hair. 

"JJ! JJ! JJ, guess what!" Oli was practically bouncing. 

"What?" JJ laughed.

"My teacher said that she's gonna watch you when you go to the Skate Canada competition! She said, she said we could watch in school!" He beamed. "And I told all my friends that you were gonna have the best program! Better than everyone! Even better than Viktor Nikiforv!" Oli hugged him tight once more.

"I don't know about that..." JJ started. "Viktor is pretty untouchable for me."

"No! I think you're lots better. Mostly because he looks so bored and you look so happy! I don't know if he really likes it, but I know you do! And I think that makes you better." Olivier turned to their mom. "Right, Maman?"

JJ smiled and listened while both of his siblings went on and on about what they talked about at school. JJ was so scared of letting them down. They held him to such a high standard. They only started wanting to skate because of him. This was their first year getting to compete in the novice level and they were so excited. He wanted to be there for them and support them. He didn’t want to feel so self-deprecating. He wanted to live up to their expectations. If he didn’t, they’d be disappointed in themselves and what if they stopped skating because of him? The thought was too much. If they didn’t want to skate, he wanted it to be because they didn’t enjoy it. Not because he messed up. 

He sighed softly covering it up with a fake cough and a smile. He spent the rest of the afternoon talking to Oli and Maddie and playing games with them. They watched some of the ice skating competitions he’d promised to record for them together too, the three of the discussing each skater’s program. It turned into Oli telling JJ about how excited he was for his first competition. Maddie chimed in every so often. They asked for pointers for how to be “cool” which made JJ laugh, but he tried to make something up. 

“And remember, always show you’re confident. Even if you’re not. Even if you’re scared. Kind of like fake it until you make it. Eventually you’ll convince yourself you’re as good as you’re pretending to be and you ace it.” JJ answered.

“You get scared?” Oli’s eyes were huge.

“All the time. It’s normal,” JJ smiled.

“JJ, did you record the girls too?” Maddie asked, playing with her hair. “I want to see their programs too and how pretty their clothes and hair are!” She beamed. 

“Of course I did!” JJ wrapped his arm around her and kissed her cheek. “I figured we’d get the dumb boys out of the way first.”

Maddie smiled, wrapping her small arms around his neck and laying on his chest. He leaned back into the couch, a smile permanently glued to his face. He understood what his parents meant now when they’d say and still said they didn’t want them to grow up. He loved how much his siblings wanted to do with him and how Maddie would snuggle with him. They were ten now and he had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before they rarely came home. They’d soon be out with their friends like typical teenagers. For now he’d just enjoy it. 

……………..

Isabella stared at her phone, frowning. JJ hadn’t texted her back. He said he was going to pick her up at five. It was almost six. He wasn’t answering texts or calls. She didn’t know whether to be worried, angry, or accept that he had finally realized that he could do so much better than her. She frowned and flopped on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Should she call again? Text him? Maybe something had come up and it was really important and he’d forgotten. Maybe calling one more time wouldn’t hurt? She was so thankful for her parents not being home. She shuddered to think how her parents would react to him being late to pick her up. They were so big about being punctual and they were already still on the fence about him even though they were raving about how polite he was. 

It wouldn’t hurt to try again…would it? She pulled out her phone and connected the call. Her mind started racing as thoughts filled her head. What if he was avoiding her? What if she had done something? Was she calling too much? Texting too much? Was she coming across as a crazy stalker? Oh god she hoped not.

“Isabella!” JJ greeted.

“Hey…um…are you okay? Did something come up?” She started, closing her eyes in embarrassment. She sounded so whiney. Why? 

“Yeah, I’m good! I’m just watching some skating programs with my brother and sister. What’s up?” His voice sounded cheerful enough.

“Oh…um…well you had asked me to go out with you tonight. You said you had a surprise planned you were supposed to be here an hour ago. I was getting worried…”

“Shit.” JJ hissed through the phone. “I’m so sorry! I forgot. I…I was feeling off today and it slipped my mind and I was having such a nice time with my siblings. I’m leaving now, okay? I’m so sorry. You must hate me for forgetting. It’s just sometimes I forget things…a lot of times really. Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” 

“JJ, it’s okay!” She sat up, tugging her are jeans. “It happens. I’ll be ready. Be safe, okay? Unless you want to postpone? I’m okay with that too.”

“No. No, I have to see you. I have to come up there and get you and we have to do this thing. We have to!” He insisted. 

The call disconnected and Isabella laid back on her bed, sighing. Was this what he’d meant about having trouble with focusing on things? She really wasn’t that familiar with any of the things JJ had told her he had. She knew there was that kid in her class that didn’t pay attention. Was that the same thing? Was it more complicated than that? Maybe she should ask him. Or maybe she could just read up on it. She didn’t want to be getting upset with him over things that he really couldn’t help. And the way he’d been after the movie that night made it clear to her that he really didn’t have much control over the problems. 

She pulled out her laptop and started searching for information on ADHD and sensory overload. She had a better understanding of anxiety. It was like being nervous. She knew what that felt like. Everyone gets anxious. It was normal. She read through the page upon pages that she found while she waited for JJ to show up. Each page talking about similar and different things. One thing she found abundantly clear was it was very individualized even though there were shared characteristics. She frowned. She didn’t know if it was appropriate to ask him about how he experienced things. What if she offended him or made him uncomfortable? He hadn’t seemed like he liked to talk about it when he’d told her. And he had started pacing and talking super fast. Maybe that wasn't the best idea…

She leaned back, groaning. She just wanted to be a supportive friend If she could learn about them then she could understand him more. Why was it so difficult to find information in a time where you could literally ask for information on a specific thing and have all the information you wanted at your fingertips? She couldn’t imagine how frustrating it was when you had to sift through books. That sounded so tedious. 

Finally she heard a knock at the door. She checked herself in the mirror one last time before running down the stairs and answering the door. JJ was standing there, his eyes shifty, and slightly red and puffy. His cheeks were a bit flushed too and his hands were buried deep in his pockets. He didn’t look at her, more off to the side as he mumbled a greeting and yet another apology. 

“It’s okay! I promise!” She smiled at him as she pulled on her shoes. “Let’s go!”

…………

JJ gripped the steering wheel while he drove toward Mont Royal. They had picked up food on the way. The smell was making his stomach growl. He was so angry at himself. How could he forget tonight? This was going to be so special! So romantic! A picnic dinner at sunset before he asked her to be his girlfriend. How could he forget? How? Why did he always forget things? Today had just been awful. 

Isabella tried to carry on a conversation, but he couldn’t get into it. He couldn’t focus. He just kept thinking about the fact that he’d forgotten her. Isabella. This beautiful, funny, sweet, smart, wonderful girl who actually had the patience for him and who genuinely wanted to be with him. How could he forget someone like her? She was damn near perfect and he’d forget her while sitting on the couch watching recorded skating. What was wrong with him? And why couldn’t he just for once be able to not let things like this get to him so much. Why? 

He pulled into the parking lot near the pavilion. He was surprised not many people were there. Good. Less people to see him being a loser. They’d probably see him and wonder what was wrong with Isabella for being seen in public with someone like him. They grabbed their drinks and food from the car, JJ also grabbing the blanket. At least he remembered one thing. 

Isabella walked next to him silently. He could feel her eyes on him. He felt the panic rising in him. He needed to act cool. He needed to pretend nothing was wrong. If he could stop being an anxious mess, if he could just make all the thoughts go away…

“It’s beautiful up here,” Isabella smiled, spinning to look back at him. His heart leapt.

“Yeah…” He offered a smile and laid down the blanket. 

“You know…I’ve lived in Montreal my entire life and I’ve never come up here. I’m glad you asked me to come with you. It’s perfect.” 

She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest for just a moment. Her head was just below his chin. He could smell her shampoo. It smelled like fruit or flowers. He really couldn’t tell. And she had on a perfume too. God, she smelled so good. He hugged her back for a moment. She fit so perfectly in his arms. He wanted her to stay there forever. Maybe he could just ask her now and they could get on with it. Isabella pulled away with a smile before he had the chance. 

JJ joined her on the blanket. He picked at his food. He didn’t really feel hungry, especially with how nervous he was. JJ tugged at his shirt. It felt so terrible against his skin. The fabric was so rough. He shifted slightly. He couldn’t focus on anything. There were birds singing the night away. The faint sound of crickets coming to life. He could feel the grass under the blanket. Did plants feel pain? Maybe they were hurting the grass sitting on it. He didn’t want to hurt the grass. It would be just as well. He couldn’t do much right these days anyway. 

“JJ?” Isabella started. 

He glanced at her. God she was so beautiful. Her hair was pulled up, but there were a few strands framing her face. Her eyes were lined in dark black eye liner. Her lashes looked so full. Red lipstick looked so perfect on her. And that jacket! She was literally perfection. The sun reflected from her eyes in just the right way to make her entire face light up. He swore she had a halo in this lighting. 

“JJ?” She put a hand on his arm. 

“I’m sorry?” He forced. 

“I asked you if you were okay? You seem…distant.” 

“Um…I’m fine. I’m just…” He rubbed his palms on his jeans and took his cup, sipping the beverage for a moment to compose himself. “I’m not having a great day is all. I’ll be fine tomorrow. Don’t worry.” He forced a smile. 

“You’re sure?” 

He stared at her. He just wanted to be back to his usual self. Why was he feeling like this? God he hated these bad days with a passion. He just wanted to be home right now. Then he wouldn’t be so embarrassed. But he was here. The dinner was great. The blanket was soft. The sunset was beautiful. The leaves on the trees were changing for autumn. Isabella was here, sweet and perfect as usual. 

“Isabella?” He set his drink down. “I actually wanted to ask you something. That’s why we came here. I’m sorry…” She stared back at him. 

“Okay. Go ahead.” She leaned forward slightly, a smile playing on her lips. 

“Will you…” He stopped. “Do you…” No. That didn’t feel right. He opened his mouth a few more times and nothing would come out. He felt the tears pricking in his eyes. This was so embarrassing! He jumped up and started pacing. He couldn’t do this. He was an idiot to think he could. Why would she want to date him? She’d laugh and walk away and tell her mean friends and they’d laugh at him.

“JJ…” Isabella was in front of him, her hands on his arms. He could feel himself shaking as he fought back the tears. Why was she smiling? She thought this was funny. She was laughing at him. Oh god, what did he do? “Are you nervous?”

“I…” He nodded, defeated. He felt a tear fall down his cheek. “Shit.” He broke away from her and started walking toward the car. He just needed a minute and then he’d be fine. 

“Jean Jacques Leroy!” She grabbed his hand. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?” She asked.

JJ stared at her. What? Had she…did she just ask…what he think she did? She didn’t hate him? Why was she smiling like that? Why was she staring into his eyes like this? Why…

“Sorry?”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” 

“Um…yes.” He let out a soft laugh.

“Well I want to be your girlfriend.” She reached up and wiped another stray tear from his cheek. She beamed at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and staring up at him. 

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, wiping his eyes with his shirt sleeves. “I’m not usually like this. I just…I’ve had a bad day. I swear I’ll be okay tomorrow. These days only last like a day or so.”

“Well then I’ll be there for you on those days,” she said gently. “It’s okay to have bad days. Everyone has bad days. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay.”

“Thank you,” JJ whispered, smiling through his tears.

…………..

Isabella held JJ, silently. They swayed back and forth. Her eyes watched the sunset. The beautiful pinks and golds and purples filled the sky. Maybe it would have been better for JJ to have taken the day off, but he wanted to be with her so badly he’d come. She knew he was having such a hard time. It pained her to see him like this. But there was something beautiful in the moment. He was so vulnerable. So open. It somehow made the moment seem more meaningful. 

JJ pulled away from her finally, thanking her softly. He sat down on the blanket and hugged his knees, resting his chin on his arms as he stared at the sunset. Isabella watched him for a moment. She wished she had her camera with her. She could make the moment so beautiful. Instead she snapped a picture on her phone. She studied it. His darkened figure in front of the setting sun, Montreal in the distance. It was beautiful. Like something you’d see in a magazine. You couldn’t see his face or really make out much more than the fact that there was a person sitting on a blanket watching the sun set. 

Isabella sat down beside him, finishing up the last of her meal. She moved closer to him so that there wasn’t a gap between them. She pulled her knees to her chest and watched the sunset as well. JJ’s hand found hers and he laced their fingers. He leaned his head against her shoulder and she leaned her head against his. 

They sat like that for a while, watching Montreal be engulfed in night, and even after when the stars came out. Then they sat there under the stars watching the city lights twinkle in the distance. She’d never thought of Montreal as particularly beautiful or romantic. It was just Montreal. It was where she was born, where she had grown up, where she went to school and lived. It was just a city. She’d never thought much about it. But sitting here with JJ like this, she suddenly was overwhelmed by it. 

“JJ?” She whispered. 

He lifted his head to look at her. The soft light of the city and the stars and moon reflected on his face in such a breathtaking way. Slowly she touched his face. It was so soft, so smooth. Her eyes lingered on his eyes for just a moment. 

“Can…can I kiss you?” She breathed. 

The corner of JJ’s mouth twitched up in a smile. He shifted so that his other hand could cup her face. Gently, he leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers. She’d been far too tense to move. She didn’t want to bump her nose into his. His lips lingered for a just a moment before he pulled away. She kept her eyes closed for just a moment before opening them. JJ was standing up already, gathering their trash. 

She watched him for a moment before starting in with shaking the blanket out and began to fold it. She held it, waiting for him to get back from the trash can before heading back to the car. They walked silently, JJ's arm around her as she leaned into him. They got to the car. JJ held his hand out of hers in the middle without a word. She took it, smiling and leaned over to curl up to him, her head on his shoulder as he drove her home. 

The windows in the downstairs of her home were illuminated when they got to her home. She knew her parents were waiting up. She didn’t want the evening to be ruined. She wanted to be able to slip silently up the stairs and remember the feeling of his lips on hers. JJ opened her door, a small smile on his lips, his hand held out to her. She was surprised for a moment before she took it. They held hands as they walked up the driveway. _He was walking her to her door!_ He paused for a moment outside the door, his eyes searching her face. They were still a bit puffy. He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and kissed her softly once more.

“Good night, Isabella Yang,” His voice was a bit gravely from not being used, and she guessed from the crying. 

“Good night,” she managed.

He smiled at her with a wink before turning and walking back toward his car. She watched him go. Only once he reached the car did she enter the house. She managed to call to her parents she was home before rushing up the stairs. She couldn’t believe it. She was dating JJ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Leave a comment!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this ypup before I had to go to my group meeting. I apologize in advance for any errors. I'll proofread when I get home tonight. I know, I know, I should have done that before, but I am just so excited to get this out. Enjoy!

JJ blinked his eyes open. The bedroom was dimly lit and the sound of rain pouring outside filled the air with a deafening vengeance. He closed his eyes and curled into a ball, pulling the blanket over his head. He did not want to get up. He was so exhausted. The bad day had turned into a bad three days and it was hitting his body hard. He hadn’t gotten up for real in three days. Just enough to burn off the painful energy. His dad took over the class Saturday much to his dismay, but he just couldn’t pull himself to go to the rink or even get out of his pajamas. He had only talked to Isabella via text. He was so thankful his parents hadn’t tried to force him out of it. 

His phone buzzed. He sighed and picked it up. He should text Isabella a cute good morning text at the very least. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the time. It was almost noon. It was Monday. He had practice and lessons. He cursed himself and started to get dressed. He felt better today, just exhausted. He didn’t want to worry his parents, and he sure as he hell didn’t want to get behind in his lessons. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a hoodie before making his way downstairs, his phone forgotten on the night stand. 

His parents were sitting at the dining room table talking and eating lunch. JJ slipped into the room, tugging on his sleeves, not sure if he wanted to disturb them. He knew he didn’t want to listen in on them. He had lost track of how many times he’d overheard them talking about him and their worries. He glued a soft smile to his face and called a good morning to them. He hugged his mother first, letting her kiss his cheek before hugged his father. He sat down, pulling at his sleeves nervously. 

“I’m sorry I missed practice, Papa…” JJ pleaded.

“It’s alright, JJ. I want you to be healthy, so take the time you need, okay? Don’t push yourself.” Alain offered him a smile. “Do you want something to eat?”

“Yeah,” JJ rested his head on his arm, closing his eyes. 

“How are you feeling?” Alain asked rubbing his back.

“Exhausted, but better. I don’t feel all anxious and overwhelmed today.” He smiled. 

“Good. Get your rest.” 

JJ nodded. Alain brought him a plate of food which he picked at. It didn’t taste like anything. It was like a hangover effect. He’d have a bad day or few days and he’d feel the exhaustion for the first day out of it. He was quieter and wasn’t as restless. His mind didn’t race. It was all kind of slow like he was underwater. He knew it’d be better soon. He looked forward to it. But for now he had to suffer through. At least he had his parents to help him through.

It was so nice when they were together. JJ loved spending time with his parents. His father’s laugh always put a smile on his face. It was quiet and soft. His mother’s was more loud and unapologetic. He watched them talk and laugh together as he sat quietly picking at his food. He wanted to love someone the way they loved each other. He was sure him and Isabella would get there. The look his parents gave each other melted his heart. He could see all the muscles in their face soften. The corners of their lips twitched up. Their eyes sparkled while their lids drooped in a sleepy but soft expression. They still hugged and kissed and curled up on the couch together. JJ wanted that so desperately. 

“Oh I forgot to tell you guys! Isabella’s my girlfriend now!” JJ beamed. He could have kicked himself for not telling them sooner. That was another down side to his bad days. He couldn’t even talk to them about things other than his self-pity. 

JJ glanced between the two of them, waiting for their reaction. He hadn’t expected the looks he received. Nathalie’s eyebrows were raised, her eyes bulging slightly. Her lips parted. Alain on the other hand pursed his lips and nodded. They exchanged a look for a moment. JJ could feel they thought he had done something wrong. Were they upset he hadn’t told them? Maybe if he could just tell them everything. 

“Well I was gonna ask her on Friday, but I wasn’t doing well and well she helped me and we’re dating now and I love her. Oh my god, did you know that the sun in her eyes is like the most beautiful thing in the world? I want to see it more! You have to hear her laugh! It’s like the sound of an angel!” JJ sighed and leaned back. “I love her.”

“You. Don’t. Know. Her.” Nathalie started. 

“Maman, I do! I have known her a month. That’s such a long time!” JJ defended.

“A month? A month isn’t enough time to even be comfortable enough to be yourself! JJ, I really wish you would have talked to us about this beforehand. You know you’re impulsive and have a habit of jumping into things. I don’t want to see you get into a situation where you get hurt.” Nathalie frowned. “Alain, say something!”

“Honestly, Nathalie, when has the boy ever waited a month for anything?” Alain rebutted. “Yeah, it’s fast for most people, but for JJ to have waited a month when he’s been saying he loves her since the day he met her…that’s really good. I’m proud of you for not jumping in, JJ.” Alain smiled.

“Thank you, Papa. See?” JJ turned to his mom gesturing toward this father. “I waited for a long time.”

Nathalie sighed and pushed her hair back. She didn’t look at either of them. JJ’s heart sank as she stabbed at the lettuce of the salad on her plate aggressively. He’d messed up. She was upset. He could feel his stomach rejecting the food, twisting and turning. He had wanted them to be happy for him. He had wanted smiles and congratulations. But his mother was upset and his father was in an awkward position. JJ pulled himself up more in his chair, folding himself over as he shook his leg nervously. 

“Nathalie, I…” Alain started.

“You know what, I would just like you to back me up on this okay, Alain?” Nathalie cut him off. “We’ve talked about this. I don’t want him near her. I don’t like it. I hate it. You of all people know how dangerous that is.” Her eyes stared daggers into him. “How they can be. What they are capable of. The stalking. The showing up at your hotel room at all hours. The phone calls.” 

“Nathalie, I don’t like that it’s a fan either, but…”

“But what?” 

“But I don’t think it’s the same thing. From that day I met her at the rink she didn’t seem like that is all. She did seem just like a nice kid.” Alain shrugged. “Let’s just see?”

“Really?” Nathalie let out a sarcastic laugh. 

JJ’s heart started pounding. His parents didn’t fight often. They were both so patient. This was bad. This was so bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. He felt the tears threatening in his eyes. He wanted them to stop. He wanted his mom to understand. If they she could just understand that Isabella wasn’t like that…

“Maman…” He started. 

“Stop, JJ. Just…” She rubbed her face. 

“But…”

“I said stop!” She snapped. 

“I’m sorry…” He managed before jumping up. Alain caught his arm.

“Nathalie, don’t. JJ, please finish your lunch.” JJ sat down, his body trembling. He didn’t like this. He wanted to go outside. To go for a run. Something, anything to get rid of this feeling. 

“I don’t like this.” He blurted out. “You don’t even know her! How can you say you don’t like her when you don’t even know her? She’s so nice and she’s funny and she’s smart and I do love her. You can’t tell me how I feel because I know how I feel. If you just met her, you’d love her too. She’s not like those crazy people who are obsessed. I promise. She’s never made me feel uncomfortable.” 

“JJ, baby, listen to me.” Nathalie took his face in her hands. “I love you so much. I love you more than anything in this world, okay? If something were to happen…” She blinked back tears. “I’ve felt what it’s like to almost lose you, to think I lost you. I don’t ever want to feel that again, okay?” 

“You won’t.” JJ smiled, pulling her into a hug. “Isabella isn’t like that. I promise. She makes me happy.”

Nathalie studied him for a minute, tears shining her eyes. JJ hated seeing her look so hurt, so helpless. But he wasn’t going to let this go, let Isabella go. Not now. She made him so happy. He loved talking to her and seeing her. It meant the world to him that someone liked him after they knew him. Isabella _liked_ him. Nobody really kept coming back like this. It wasn’t because she was a JJ Girl. No. Because he’d met her friends. That was what his parents were talking about. Girls like that. People like that. 

“Be careful, JJ.” Nathalie whispered, kissing his cheek. 

……………….

_It was raining..._

Isabella's heart sank. She'd solved the issue of saving the embarrassment of sitting alone by eating outside under one of the trees. Even with the air getting cold, it was still infinitely better than being stared at eating by herself, publicly shunned. She thought about going to the nurse's office and saying she didn't feel well and eating in there. But what if she called her parents? She didn't want to explain this to them. She knew what they'd say. That no boy was worth the trouble. 

But it wasn't JJ that was the problem. It was Cloe and Sophia. They were the ones who, in their jealousy, had shunned her, humiliated her, attacked her. She'd seen their true selves through this experience. Honestly she didn't want their friendship back. She'd loved them as sisters until a month ago. Now seeing what they were capable of, what they were willing to do because they were jealous...it was too much for Isabella to forgive. 

She spotted an open table near the back of the cafeteria she could sit. She braced herself and walked through the crowded lunch room, holding her head high. She refused to let them get to her. She was going to be unapologetic. She hadn't done anything wrong. She'd given them the same opportunity she had to know JJ, to be his friend, even the potential for more, but they had chosen to push him into a panic attack. What exactly they had done was unclear, but that image of him was still very haunting. 

She ignored the eyes glued to her, the whispers. Or she tried. But she still couldn't shake it. Their judgement was so evident. She was the scandalous harlot of the school. Nobody would talk to her. Nobody would sit with her. She sat down, fighting hard to keep back the tears. _Don't let them see you cry._

Isabella pulled out her phone. It was almost one and no texts from JJ. He had said he was okay and not to worry, but she was worried. She had never met someone who had issues like that. She'd never had encounters that she knew of with people who had anxiety or who had what seemed to be the closest thing to depression. He said it was a bad day. Explained what that meant. Or at least...tried. He wasn't really the most open. Three days into their relationship and barely any communication. 

She sent a quick text to see how he was before slipping it into her pocket and opening her lunch box to start eating the meal her grandmother had packed her. She made a mental note to ask JJ about his experiences. She wanted to understand, needed to understand if they were going to have even a chance at a happy relationship. How many times had someone gotten mad at another person simply because of misunderstandings? Relationships turned sour that way. Her mother used that all the time for their family issues. Always pushing her father and Isabella to talk about what they were feeling or thinking or explain why the did something. It had always seemed so stupid until now. Would that be a good talk? Or would he shut down? He didn't like to talk about it. She knew that. But would he?

Her phone buzzed alive in her pocket. JJ had written an essay. It just kept going. She stared wide eyed unable to read the messages at the rate they were coming. She pocketed the phone once more, deciding it would be best to wait until everything had come through that he wanted to say before she looked. Her heart sank as it picked up speed in anticipation. What if he was telling her it was all a mistake? What if that's not the question he was planning on asking and he had just gone along with it? But those kisses...

Her lips tingled at the thought. Her mind wondered to three nights before on that Friday evening he took her to Mont Royal and they watched the sun set together. That soft smile he'd given her just before he kissed her for the first time. It was like nothing she'd expected or experienced. It was just a small kiss, barely a few seconds, but it kept running through her mind on repeat. And that good night kiss...

A loud slap on the table pulled her quickly from the thoughts. She jumped, looking up to find Sophia and Cloe with a few girls behind them. Their eyes were shooting daggers at her. She swallowed, trying to take a breath in, but unable to do so. 

"What the fuck?" Cloe spat.

"What?" Isabella glanced between the two. What were they talking about? 

"Like you don't know. You said you weren't after him! You said that you were just friends! Well explain this shit, Isabella? You slut..." Sophia thrust her phone in Isabella's face. 

"I'm so happy I have to share it with the world. I've met the perfect girl! Her name's Isabella. I can't wait to share my girlfriend with everyone! xoxo JJ"

He'd tweeted about. About her. About their relationship. She was shaking. If things were bad at school, she couldn't imagine what it could be. But she hadn't done anything wrong. She couldn't act like she had. Even showing her nerves could be taken as an admission of guilt. 

"Oh, yeah, well...not since Friday night. He asked me. Completely unexpected." Isabella smiled sweetly. "Great, isn't it?"

"Don't. You'll regret this, Isabella." Cloe glared. 

"Cool." Isabella managed to keep the smile on her face. 

She hadn't seen it coming. Never in a million years did she think it would happen. But there she was in the middle of the cafeteria, milk dripping all over her head. Food thrown in her lap. The entire lunch room laughing. A few polite souls trying to cover their laughs. 

Isabella wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to get even. Instead, she ran her arm over her face. Looked Cloe dead in the eye. 

"He kissed me." She forced a smile and walked out of the cafeteria trying to maintain calm. 

The moment she made it outside on the covered courtyard, she fell against the wall, sliding down as the tears fell. She couldn't go to class like this. She couldn't call her parents. She couldn't go to the nurse. Maybe she could walk home. Maybe she could just freeze to death on the way home and everything could be over. She let herself sob into her arms, her knees pulled to her chest.

The bell sounded alerting the end of lunch. Isabella didn't move. She didn't care. She didn't want to back into that school like this. Her parents couldn't get involved. She didn't know what they'd do. She wouldn't want to tell them the reason. But part of her wanted her mom. She wanted her mother to hold her and let her cry like when she was a little girl. 

She stared at the sheets of rain pouring down onto the earth. It wouldn't be long until the first snow of the year. Isabella remembered when she was little how much she loved it. How she, Cloe and Sophia would run around in the snow all day until Cloe or Sophia's mom called them in for hot chocolate. Their hands and face would be numb from the cold making the warmth of the house that much more cozy and inviting. 

It was grade six that Cloe, who had been taking ice skating lessons since they were in kindergarten, introduced Isabella and Sophia into the world of competitive figure skating. She had always loved it, but the other two girls had never been involved in that part of her life. They talked about other things. Sophia had known how to skate, but nothing fancy. Isabella was always too scared to try it. 

Grade seven, the year Jean Jacques Leroy made his debut in the junior division, Cloe had made them watch it. She had been obsessed with his parents. Her favorite ice dancers apparently. She heard their son was going to make his debut and she made her two best friends witness it. Isabella had fallen in love with that world that day. Captivated by their beauty and grace. She was left wondering how. 

Grade eight, the three of them had all developed a crush on him. They'd watch the interviews. Never missed a competition. They would wake up to watch the live stream if they had to. Isabella remembered watching him and wondering what it was like to do the things he did. JJ had never been one to hold back. He was always pushing at possibilities. He was always so positive in interviews. Constantly blowing air kisses to his fans. She'd lost track of how many times she'd seen him interact with fans. Even on social media, he was the kindest, most positive person. 

Grade nine, the three girls had decided to start a JJ Girls chapter at their school. To share his talent with the students and start up more local support. They'd talked about how cool it would be to run into him. It wasn't likely as Montreal was quite large, but it wasn't impossible. They'd talked about what they'd ask him. Cloe wanted to tell him how much he inspired her to try to compete, though she never got very far. Skating wasn't something her parents looked at as practical, so she didn't get to focus it as much as she had hoped. Sophia wanted to tell him how much she loved him and his skating. Isabella wouldn't tell her friends what she wanted. She'd been so embarrassed, but he gave her motivation to do what it takes to succeed. If he could do it. She could. 

There had been so much between the three girls. It was all gone. The secrets. The sleepovers. The parties. The birthday pranks. The laughs. The music and movies. Everything. 

Isabella let a new batch of tears fall down her cheeks as she mourned for their broken friendship. They'd been friends since day one in kindergarten. They'd grown so much together. They had been her sisters. Now looking back and thinking about those moments leading up to this, it was heartbreaking. She wanted to find them and apologize, beg them to forgive her, break up with JJ. Tell him she was sorry, it had all been a mistake. But a bigger part of her refused. 

What she had with JJ wasn't that silly crush she'd had before she met him. If she could even call him that. She looked up to him. He had been the reason she'd been so adamant on following her dreams for journalism, because Jean Jacques Leroy always said to follow your dreams. Never give up, even when things seem impossible. He'd been that person for her. But since she met him she was embarrassed. What she felt was indescribable. She felt warm and safe and at ease. But nervous and excited. Like butterflies. She admired him as a person. She saw that he was so much more than she'd once thought. Everything she'd thought multiplied by one million. 

She leaned her head back against the cold brick. She could leave. Maybe she could convince one of the upperclassman to take her home. She didn't even bother to get her things from her locker. Homework was the farthest thing from her mind. She let the cold water soak into her clothes and shoes. She scanned the parking lot for any stragglers and found nothing. She groaned and walked back to the covered courtyard. Maybe she'd just try JJ?

The text notifications were still screaming at her. She'd forgotten about them. She opened JJ's texts, reading over the messages. He was profusely apologizing over not talking to her very much over the weekend. Apparently whatever it was he had been going through on Friday lasted over the weekend and while he was feeling better today, he'd slept until noon and felt like he was already coming across as a bad boyfriend. He promised her it wouldn't a usual thing, but it did happen occasionally. Then he went into a long text about how smart and pretty and sweet she was and how he was so happy she was his girlfriend. 

She smiled despite everything she was feeling. He was really so sweet. She decided calling would be better than a text. She needed to leave sooner rather than later. She didn’t want to get caught skipping classes and put in detention. Her parents would almost certainly ground her and force her to help out at the restaurant. On second thought, her birthday was in a week and being grounded would be convenient. At least then she wouldn’t have to explain to her parents why Sophia and Cloe weren’t there. 

She hit the call button, closing her eyes as she leaned against the cold brick. She was shivering. Wet and cold were never a good mix. Maybe she’d get sick. Even that was preferable to having a birthday celebration with no friends. If she explained to her parents she wanted to just have it be family and her new boyfriend, would they be suspicious? Probably. But it would make the day great. Her family, despite how much she wished that they gave her more freedom, were always fun on birthdays. She loved them. This was the perfect opportunity to rekindle her relationship with her cousins. They’d been so close growing up. 

“Isabella!” JJ’s voice answering the call in her ear broke her thoughts.

“Hi, JJ,” She forced her voice to sound bright. “How are you feeling?”

“Really good! I feel a lot better than before. This morning was a little tense for a minute, but things are better now. My mom is worried about stuff is all. Oh and I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you’re my girlfriend. You know it’s still so weird that you like me this much? I didn’t think it was possible. Anyway I’m sorry for being such a jerk this weekend. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just didn’t feel well and I was tired. I mean I’m still tired. It’s like…” JJ paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, I’m talking too much. How are you?”

“It’s more than alright.” Isabella picked at a thread on her jeans. “I’m okay. Hey so funny story…I had gone outside because the rain had lightened up and I got soaked because the rain ended up pouring before I got to the covered area. I was wondering if you could come pick me up? My parents are working.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” JJ asked, his voice suddenly full of concern. 

“Yes, I’m fine. I know I’m probably interrupting something, aren’t I? It’s like not like you’re just sitting around. I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I’m asking,” Isabella felt the panic rising in her. She didn’t want him to ask questions. She couldn’t let him know what was going on. Why had she called him? What was she thinking? 

“No, actually my parents having me take today off to recharge and stuff. I’d love to see you. Um…did you already eat?” 

“Oh,” Isabella shifted. “Um…I could eat. But I’d like to change first.” 

“Right. Okay. I’ll be there soon! I’ll text you when I get there? I’m leaving now.” The line disconnected.   
…………..  
JJ pulled up in front of the school, throwing the car in park. Cars filled the parking lots in perfect rows. The rain beat down in a steady stream. He was so excited for it to get just a bit colder so that there’d be snow. Winter was his favorite time of year. There was always a fire blazing in the hearth. His mom would make her amazing hot chocolate. His dad made his stews and soups. Best of all, the season started.

He hummed to himself as he sent a quick text to Isabella letting her know he was there. He pulled the blanket from the back seat and hugged it to himself. The fabric was soft and fluffy. It was so comforting against his skin. The heater of the car had warmed it up perfectly. Isabella was going to get warmed up so well. He stared out the window, looking for her. He wanted to surprise her and meet her with the blanket. Raindrops slid down the windows, racing each other as they slipped down hoping to make it to the ground. He loved to watch the rain. It was so soothing, so steady. 

He jumped when he saw Isabella suddenly appear next to the door, trying the door. He hit the unlock button and leaned over to open it for her. This hadn’t been the plan, but he didn’t dare let her stay in the cold rain a second longer. She pulled herself in to the car, offering him a greeting as she buckled the seat belt. He handed her the blanket, leaning over to kiss her. She kissed him back.

“Thank you so much for the…” She glanced up at him, stopping in the middle of her sentence. She looked stunned, her eyes wide. “…wow…” She breathed. 

“What?” JJ checked himself in the mirror. What was wrong? Maybe he should have put more into getting ready? He’d literally just walked out of the house after she’d called. Slipped on his shoes and left. 

“You’re wearing glasses.” She said, pulling the blanket around her. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“Oh…” JJ shifted. He’d completely forgotten about that. His eyes had been sore all weekend from crying so much. “Um…yeah, since I was like five. I prefer my contact though. My eyes have just been…” He trailed off, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. He looked weird in them. She didn’t like it. But he couldn’t see anything but blobs without them. 

“You look so good in them. And I like your hair like that.” She smiled, reaching over and brushing it back a little. “It’s all kind of messy, but hanging down. You look so good like this.” She let out a soft giggle and kissed him once more. 

“Oh, thank you,” JJ stuttered out. “Yeah…um, I woke up late and had actually just woken up a little before you’d called. I’d just slipped on some pants and a hoodie and my glasses this morning. Nothing special. Because I was planning on it being like a more laid back day. I’m sorry. I should have done more. I just…You know how I told you I was a premie? Well like apparently like oxygen is like toxic to your eyes and so like I literally cannot see more than blobs without my glasses or contacts.” 

He tugged at his sleeves feeling the need to keep explaining. He could feel her eyes on him. She was staring at him. He wished he’d thought to put in his contacts. What was wrong with him? Maybe the argument his parents had this morning and been what made him forget? Or perhaps is was as simple as he needed to see Isabella. That was more the story wasn’t it? He had gotten that phone and call and just wanted nothing but to be there for her and get her out of her cold wet clothes. He hadn’t even thought of himself. Now the edges of where the lens ended and the blur began was starting to be super obvious. He didn’t like it. 

“Can you please stop looking at me?” He requested. “It makes me uncomfortable.”

“Oh…I’m so sorry. I just…You are so…It’s hard to keep my eyes off you. You are so hot.” She breathed. 

“What?” He glanced at her. She was now keeping her eyes glued to the floorboard. 

“I’m sorry.” She shook her head.

“No…the other thing. You said I’m…hot?” He blinked. “You don’t think it looks weird or dorky or something? Or that I need to pay more attention to myself before I go out?”

“Definitely not.” She smiled. “You’re gorgeous, JJ.” 

“Wow…” JJ grinned. “I’ve been worried because you’re so pretty. I just thought…” 

Isabella giggled and shook her head. “No. I’m not.”

“You are.” He smiled. 

“I’m a mess right now, is what I am.” 

“Then I guess we’re both just hot messes, huh?” JJ grinned nudging her. Isabella laughed. 

“You’re such a dork. I love it.” 

“Let’s document how cute we are when we’re a mess, huh?” He asked pulling out his phone. “I want to introduce you to everyone.”

“JJ, wait…I…” Isabella stopped. 

“What?” He frowned. “If you’re not ready, that’s okay.”

“No, it’s nothing. Of course. Let’s do it. Our first picture together. In which my hair is a tangled wet mess and my make ups is ruined and I’m soaked.” She grinned. 

“In which my eyes are still puffy and swollen and red and my hair is also a mess.” 

JJ laughed, kissing her cheek. He pulled off his glasses for a second before leaning in with Isabella and snapping the shot. He pulled the glasses back on and studied the picture. They both really did look cute together. He couldn’t help but smile. He drafted a quick comment and posted. Introducing Isabella! _My beautiful girlfriend. Here’s us looking like hot messes! Xoxoxo JJ_

They drove quietly to Isabella’s house. Isabella on her phone the whole time with the blanket wrapped around her. He wished he could watch her and the road at the same time, but it was impossible. He promised his parents he’d be safe and careful. He tried to force himself to concentrate, but everything was flooding him, distracting him. He kept refocusing himself. It was raining. He needed to be more careful. He was so hungry. Maybe he hadn’t taken his medicine? No worries. He could get a coffee or something with caffeine. It’d be fine. 

He breathed a sigh of relief as the pulled up in front of her house. He stared at the building for a moment, admiring the place that Isabella Yang lived in. This house knew her secrets. If those walls could talk, he’d listen to them forever. It was a medium sized two story house with red bricks and a set of French doors with frosted windows. There were three trees in the front yard. It was such an inviting home compared the grey sky that loomed above them. He hadn’t thought about the house before today. All the times he’d picked her up and dropped her off over the month and this was the first time he’d thought about. 

“Do you want to come in?” Isabella asked as she gathered her things. 

“Uh, yeah, okay.” He smiled. 

He pulled out and umbrella from the back seat, handing it to her with a warm smile. The rain had let up, but he wasn’t about to let the rain trick them and Isabella get wet and cold again. They got out and walked toward the home. Isabella was strangely tense as they walked. He frowned. She didn’t look happy. 

“Are you okay?” JJ asked, rubbing her arm. 

“Yeah. Just cold and wet. It’s very uncomfortable,” she said as she unlocked the front door. 

………….

She wasn’t okay, but JJ couldn’t know. She didn’t want to tell him what had really happened. She didn’t want to tell him that Cloe literally retweeted that picture with her Twitter and Instagram under a ruse to pretend to tell people to go talk to her when she knew that wasn’t what it was. How could she tell him she was already getting tweeted about how bad she looked? How could she tell him how much she didn’t want her picture taken when she looked like this? When she still had remnants of food and milk on her? No, he couldn’t know. The last thing that was needed was for JJ to know what his fans were capable of. He loved them. They supported him. They motivated him. These things she knew to be true and she was not going to be the person who took that away from him. 

So she put on a smile and told him she was okay. She felt awful for lying to him when he had been so open with her. He was letting himself be vulnerable and she couldn’t even tell him what was going on. It felt like a double standard, but it was okay if she was protecting him, right? She tried hard to push the thoughts out of her head. 

“Would you like something to drink? Are you thirsty?” She asked as she walked toward the kitchen. 

“Um…do you think I could get some coffee?” He said. 

“Of course! Is instant okay? Or we have a Keurig?” She blinked at him, waiting. His eyes were scanning over everything and he walked around the room. “JJ?” 

“Huh? Oh yeah, whatever’s fine.” He walked into the kitchen with her. “I can do it myself if you want to get changed.” 

Isabella breathed a sigh of relief. She just wanted to get changed and shower. She showed him where everything was telling him to make himself at home and let him know she was going to shower quickly if he wanted to watch TV. She ran up the stairs to her room, stripping out of her clothes and putting them on hangers to dry in her closet. She slipped into the adjoining bathroom and started up the shower. The warm water felt so good on her skin. She had been feeling almost numb from the cold. She closed her eyes as the feeling slowly restored in her body. 

Her mind started flooding with thoughts. What was going to happen now? Cloe had put her name out there. JJ was probably going to thank her and start sharing her even more. Maybe she could talk to him about it? He might be used to living with a public life, but she wasn’t. He would understand, wouldn’t he? She felt so guilty. Why should she take away his right to share with the world his happiness? He’d been in the public eye for much of his life in some way or another. His parents were famous, thought these days Isabella figured not many people knew who they were. But for the longest time, they had been Canada’s favorite pair. Cloe had wanted nothing more than to get into their coaching sessions, but after they started coaching JJ themselves, they only took a few more skaters if any at all. He’d at least known what it was like to be a child of well-known parents.

She should talk to JJ. Tell him how she felt. Just tell him it was uncomfortable for her, but she didn’t want him to suspect. She didn’t want him to feel badly for posting about her. She groaned. She’d think about it and figure out the best way to talk to them. Besides, just because her friends from school and a few girls on twitter had been awful, didn’t mean that it would be all bad. Maybe she’d make some friends? There had to be other girls who thought girls needed to be nicer to each other. 

She finished her shower quickly, getting out and rushing to get dry and dressed. She didn’t wanted to keep JJ waiting too long and she just wanted to be warm. She decided on slipping into some warm pajamas. She blew dry her hair for added protection again the cold before going downstairs. 

JJ had the television tuned to skating. His eyes were glued to the screen as he rocked slightly back and forth. He looked so engrossed in it all. She could see the anxiety written across his face. He looked so determined though. She smiled at the sight. She really was so blessed to know him. She walked into the room, plopping on the couch next to him. He didn’t seem to notice her. She pulled her legs up to her chest and turned her attention to the skating too. It really was such a breath taking sport, and so underrated. 

“My friend Cloe wants to do professional skating,” Isabella offered as the program went to commercial. “But she never gets far. She’s not that good because her parents don’t want to spend the money on coaching.” 

“Oh, that’s too bad.” JJ’s voice was far away. 

“Yeah.” She breathed. 

“Maybe my parents could? They do things for free sometimes. Or a smaller fee. I could ask them. It’s worth a shot, huh?” He said turning to her. 

“Um, if you want.” She smiled. “I know it’d be a dream come true for her. She loves your parents.” 

“Okay.” He smiled. “Do you want to watch this with me? Just for a little bit because I promised I wouldn’t be out too late and I really need to practice. Skate Canada is a month away.” 

“Yeah, that’d be great. I’d like that.” She smiled. 

JJ leaned back against the couch and smiled up at her. God, he was beautiful. Even more so with his hair like this and his glasses. He made her heart skip a beat when he looked at her like this. 

“I like that we can do this together,” he said softly, pulling her into a hug. She felt herself melt into him. 

“Yeah.” She breathed. They sat like that on the couch, watching the competition. She had never been warmer than she was right now with his arms around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment! ♥


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late again! I hope this chapter is okay. I've been making changes on it all day, but I think I've got it to work perfectly. Enjoy!

Notifications never stopped. Her phone hadn’t been silent in days. It wasn’t all bad. There were girls who thought she was adorable and that she and JJ made a cute couple. So many were happy for the two. _You two look so happy together! Aw, yay! JJ is so happy!_ Those were nice. She had gained so many followers and her PMs were blowing up with positive messages that made her smile. But the negative…it was heart wrenching. So many were attacking her appearance. It reminded her of Cloe and Sophia.

Isabella stared at the phone, buzzing and lighting up on as it scooted across her dresser. She didn’t want to look at it. She didn’t want to see people critiquing every single flaw in her appearance. It was all jealousy. She kept telling herself that. Maybe if she kept on, she’d start believing it. She wished she could just turn off notifications and still get the ones she wanted. Dealing with it at school was bad enough, but to have people from all over the world attacking her…it was so much to deal with. 

The phone kept buzzing and buzzing. The sound was deafening in the air. Isabella weighed the options. She could abandon the phone, turn it off and watch something on her laptop. She could go downstairs and talk to her parents for once in a blue moon. She could go outside and enjoy the weather before it got too terribly cold. She laid back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. 

It could be JJ. And she loved talked to him. There was never a dull moment. The way he went through topics. He’d bounce from one to the next. She’d started finally getting used to the bouncing around in conversation and seeing the logic between seemingly unrelated topics. It had taken a while to get used to, but now she was getting it. His mind was such a beautiful thing. She loved how his face lit up when he was talking about something he loved. He could talk about ice skating all day if she let him. It was heartwarming to see that he really enjoyed what he did. It was more of a passion than anything.

She pulled herself up off her bed and picked up her phone. Her eyes wanted to read the hurtful messages, but she fought the urge as she scrolled down the screen of Twitter notifications. She allowed herself to read the nice ones to help her feel just a bit better. JJ had updated his twitter, tweeting about his Skate Canada program. His Instagram had been updated to talking about the program. There was selfie of him with his parents at the rink. She couldn’t help but smile. His cheeks were a rosy red from the mixture of the cold air and the practice she knew he had just done. She zoomed in to look at his parents. His father had his hands on his shoulders, his eyes fixed on JJ rather than the camera. It melted her heart how proud the man looked. She could only dream of the day one her parents looked at her like that. She didn’t let them get close enough these days. She couldn’t. She tried. It was just so…embarrassing. His mother was also looking at him rather than the camera. Her face was so soft. Isabella could feel the love. It made her feel almost jealous. His family was so close and hers was so…distant. 

JJ had always had the best report with his fans. Ever since he first debuted, he was always so humble, so thankful. There were plenty of times that he’d meet fans after competitions. There were a million stories of JJ stopping to talk to fans who wanted to speak to him. If they were little kids, it was even better. He’d set up fundraisers for different causes. He would always encourage fans to come do different volunteer work with him and his family around Canada. She had never heard anyone say a single bad thing about the guy. He was just…so good? 

She couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that this boy who has done so much for so many people in need, with a heart made of gold, didn’t have friends. Why? Her mind kept playing over the moment when he’d told her that he’d had so much trouble making and keeping friends because of his ADHD and other issues. He blamed the fact that he didn’t really have a filter as the cause, but to her the cause of it was not him. It was other people. Maybe she was biased. She had cared so much for him for so long maybe it clouded her perception of him when those things happened. JJ was just…perfect. She couldn’t think of another word to describe him. 

The television was on downstairs. Her parents were watching a movie together. They’d asked her if she wanted to join and she’d made up an excuse about having to do homework. It was hard that they believed her without ever checking. Maybe she should go downstairs and talk to them. JJ talked to his parents. He said they were his best friends. It was such a strange relationship to Isabella. None of her friends even liked to talk to their parents. It was always so annoying being around adults, especially parents. Perhaps that’s how JJ felt about her relationship with her parents. He was so family centered. 

Isabella sat down and scrolled through his Instagram. There were pictures of his brother and sister in skating poses. Picture of them together in their outfits. Of all the things Isabella knew about JJ and his parents, she knew very little about his siblings. They were quite a bit younger, but they looked so close. She smiled at one picture in particular where they’re piled on top of him and all three were laughing. It made her wish she had siblings, but she liked being an only child even though at times it got lonely. It would be nice to have someone to hang out with or talk to. She remembered when she was younger that she and her cousins spent a lot of time together, but after high school started, they went to different schools and got more into their respective friends. They had started working pretty regularly at the restaurant their parents owned, so they’d drifted apart. 

Her phone buzzed in her hand, pulling her from her thoughts. She jumped at the suddenness of it all. With her having the apps open, the notifications had quieted just a bit. JJ’s face popped up on the screen, smiling that winning smile that made her heart flutter. She smiled and hit the button to answer. 

“Hey there!” She smiled.

“Hi! Oh my gosh, Isabella, I have to tell you this thing that I found out. I’m so nervous. Okay, so we were looking at who’s going to be at Skate Canada and I’m going against Viktor. Oh my god…” He let out a shaking breath. “I mean…he was there last year at the Grand Prix Final, but this is so early on! I’m not prepared. I…I don’t know. My parents are telling me it’s going to be okay, but I’m not as experienced at all. I’m only sixteen! I don’t…Isabella, what do I do?” 

Isabella was shocked. He was calling her with this? She was honored, but couldn’t help but feel just a little taken aback. She had never thought of JJ as someone who go nervous about these kind of things. He always just had this air of confidence about him. Despite their relationship, she hadn’t realized he trusted her so much with this sort of thing. And here he was. 

“I…He’s really good.” It was all she could think to say. She heard JJ groan in response. “But so are you.” She added. 

“I want to do well this season. But how I am going to do that?”

“You won’t get there if you don’t think you can. I mean…JJ you’re only sixteen and you’ve never had any major injuries. You do things to push yourself constantly. So what if Viktor has been so great in the past? I mean…he could mess up. He might just be off. You can’t help what he does, JJ. You can only help what you do and how you do. I believe in you. Your parents believe in you. All your fans and all the JJ Girls believe in you and know you can do well.” Isabella reassured him. She hoped it was enough. He sounded so worried. 

“Okay…I guess you’re right. My parents told me to just…envision myself with the gold and the rest will fall into place. That’s what they always say, but, like…” He trailed off as he looked for the words. “You know how I told you I have anxiety? Well it gets to me. I’ve never had a problem during a competition, but I’ve had them in plenty of bathrooms before and after. So what’s stopping it from this? I don’t know I just…why do I have to compete against him in the first round?” JJ groaned again. 

“JJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Your parents have done this before. They’ve gotten gold so many times. They were the best of their day. They have faith in you. They’re coaching you. You work so hard. I know you’ll do your best. That’s all you can do. And just…instead of focusing so much on the others, focus on yourself. Try the mindset of you’re the only competition you have. Beat your personal best every time and you’ll be on top eventually. Just…believe in yourself, JJ.” 

Isabella played with the blankets on her bed as she waited for a response. All she could hear now was him groaning and breathing. As much as she knew about figure skating in general and about certain skaters like JJ, she hadn’t ever thought a lot about the others. She had her favorite for reasons beyond just skill. They were all skilled and were all so talented and hardworking and beautiful. She hadn’t seen a single skater that she watched and was bored with. She had always just imagined them as friends who cheered each other on. She’d watched so many of them get so excited about beating their personal best. She’d just…assumed. But here JJ was, anxious about who he was going up against. It shook that very assumption. 

“I don’t want to let anyone down,” JJ said finally. “My parents believe in me so much. My brother and sister hold me to this pedestal. My fans look to me to do well. And honestly it feels like Canada wants me to follow in my parents’ footsteps to the Olympics. What if I let them down, Isabella? What if I let myself down?” 

She could hear the pain and anxiety in his voice. Memories played through her head of all of his competitions. Never once had anyone been disappointed in him…not that she knew of anyway. She knew that so many skaters looked up to Viktor, wanted to skate like him, to be like him, but in all honesty, Isabella could say without any uncertainty that each one of them were perfect. 

“You won’t let anyone down. JJ style doesn’t disappoint, and it doesn’t copy anyone else either. I remember in this one interview you had you said that you were really focused on making your programs seamless. Your footwork was just important as the jumps. The passion needed to go from beginning to end. You wanted the music to flow through your veins and the jumps to be perfectly intertwined with everything. I’ve watched you over the years get better and better at it. You work in the dancing that your parents were so good at and have no doubt influenced how you do. You’ll be amazing.” She smiled wishing he was there so she could give him a hug. 

JJ sighed into the phone before going silent. Isabella could practically see him now in his room, bouncy and anxious. She wondered why he wasn’t with his parents. He’d aid they were his best friends. Were they not the people he went to when he was feeling this way? He had said his dad could be a little intense when it came to coaching. Maybe that’s why he was feeling the way he was? Were they pushing him too hard? Was it too much? Should she ask?

“I really want to thank you, Isabella. You know the right thing to say. I do feel a little better. Tell me about your day!” 

Isabella could hear the smile in his voice. They talked for a while about things. He had started to feel better about the Skate Canada assignments and was on to happier things. Isabella talked to him about her day, carefully editing the bullying at school. He told her about his. He had finally gotten caught up in school. It was weird that you could get behind in school at home. Just one day had pushed him back so far. It had taken almost a week for him to catch up. But then again….maybe it did make sense? JJ had never said specifically that he struggled in school, but one could assume given the fact that he’d told her about his issues. They said good night and Isabella sat on her bed, staring the carpet in her room. It felt so surreal. A month and a half ago, she’d be sitting here with Sophia and Cloe about her birthday. Turning sixteen was a big deal. Cloe had turned sixteen before the school year had started and they had gone all out. She had her party at Lefontaine Skating Rink. Her parents had rented out a private room for them to have the food and cake, and had reserved the rink for three hours. Her entire family was there, as well as all the girls from Villa Maria in the class had been invited. Isabella remembered watching Cloe show off her skills on ice for the rest of the girls. Most of the girls had joined in skating and having fun. Cloe tried to convince Isabella to try it, but she’d been so scared. She’d stood to the side and watched them with a smile on her face as she watched the girls laugh and have fun. A few girls had also been a bit wary of skating and stood with Isabella. It had been a lot of fun. 

She laid back and wracked her brain with what she wanted to do. Nobody from school would come. She was sure of that. Sophia and Cloe and the rest of the JJ Girls at school would not be nice to anyone who was kind to her. She knew that much. They had done this to girls before in grade five. Isabella had tried to stand up for them, but at the time she’d been too scared to do much. Perhaps this was karma. The other girl had ended up switching schools. Part of her really wanted to switch school. Maybe she could find a school with a better literature concentration and use academics as the excuse. Her parents might not ask too many questions about that, but she had talked to them so much about going to Villa Maria that she was sure they’d get suspicious. She had always loved the school and how glad she was she could go there. 

Just two years and she could start fresh. Even less than two years. It was already early October and though she knew it was still early on in the year, she was going to count it. She’d finish grade eleven and then it was off to CEGEP. She wouldn’t have to deal with Sophia or Cloe after that. She would die if they ended up at the same program, but she knew they all had very different hopes of the future. Especially now that they were clearly not friends. Then she’d get to Concordia as a journalist student. She couldn’t wait. 

She imagined what it would be like to be away at university. Of course she’d still be in Montreal, but she’d begged her parents to let her stay in the dorms. They were still reluctant, but she knew they’d come around. She wanted to be on her own and experience the world. She’d be so free. She’d be able to do what she wanted when she wanted, no curfew, no being bothered with a million and five questions every time she wanted to do something. To not have to ask before doing something without the fear of being caught and grounded was going to be the most liberating thing in the world. 

Isabella pulled herself from the bed, deciding to try to talk with her parents. It was so much better than laying here thinking about everything that was going on. She was going to beg them to let her go to Skate Canada this year. She needed to be there to support JJ, not as a fan, but as his friend and girlfriend. If she could be there to personally give him a hug and pep talk, she was going to be there. Sure, she could call him or face time, but it wasn’t the same. 

Her parents were sitting on the couch with all the lights off. Isabella watched them for a moment as the light of the television flickered over their faces. Her father had his arm her mother as she leaned against his chest. It had been a while since she really looked at them. Their faces were so much more tired and worn than she had remembered. There were lines around her mother’s eyes now. Her father had bags under his eyes as well as the lines to match her mother’s. How old were they now? Fifies? She felt ashamed she didn’t know. She wanted to hug them suddenly. It was almost overpowering. She wanted to hug them and cry and tell them what was going on with all the girls being so mean to her. She wanted to. 

Instead she walked into the room and sat down on the couch silently. She pulled the sleeves of her baggy hoodie to cover her and curled up against the arm rest. Her parents looked at her, surprised looks on their faces. A pang of guilt shot through her. They were surprised to see her willingly spending time with them. What kind of daughter was she? She kept telling herself it was normal to not want to be around them these days, but JJ loved his parents so much that he always wanted to be with them. Her cousins even spent time with their parents, even if a lot of the time was spent working and was therefore forced interaction. Was something wrong with her? She wanted to talk to them like when she was little, but she couldn’t. 

At what point had she let them start to embarrass her? Was it the time Cloe laughed at her father’s name? Or when Sophia said they didn’t have “real” names? At what point had she so violently denied so much of herself? Tears pulled in her eyes at the realization. Cloe and Sophia had made her push so much of herself away, brush her beautiful culture under a rug. And for what? She was glad to be rid of them. Good fucking riddance. She needed to reconnect. 

“Mama? Baba?” She broke the silence. 

“Yes?” Her mother looked concerned, exchanging a glance with her father. 

“I love you.” She reached over, hugging them both, and kissed them each on the cheek. 

“We love you too, sweetheart.” Her father smiled pulling her close. He planted a kiss to the top of her head. 

She didn’t say anything else. She didn’t attempt to pull from his embrace even though so much of her was telling her to stop. She wasn’t a child. This wasn’t what teenagers did. Isabella pushed those thoughts away and let herself just feel close to them for the first time in years. She brushed away the tears quickly, not wanting them to see or notice. For once, she was thankful for the dark. 

…………….

JJ fidgeted in his car as he waited for his brother and sister to be released from school. He’d promised Olivier and Madeline that he’d pick them up today for their weekly ice cream outing. Every Monday for the past few years, JJ would take his brother and sister for ice cream even in the dead of winter. It had started during the summer. Oli and Maddie both were begging for ice cream. Their parents had both been so busy. JJ had been thirteen at the time and the twins were seven. He’d volunteered to take them. It had been the first time their parents had let JJ go out unaccompanied. He’d felt so grown up, so responsible, so proud. It had just become a tradition. But this was first time since he’d been allowed to drive that he had picked them up from school. Usually he waited until they got home and they’d walk down the street. Today was going to be special. 

He watched carefully as a steady stream of elementary students flooded out of the school, his eyes peeled for his two favorite grade fours. The uniforms were so frustrating in these situations. He didn’t understand why they had to wear a uniform. He could remember how it felt to wear one. He’d been five and the shirt had been uncomfortable, the sweater unbearably scratchy against his skin. The pants had felt so stiff. And the shoes…god the shoes had been the worst. He remembered getting in trouble for trying to take them off or taking off the sweater vest. It was amazing to him that these kids seemed so happy in them. The fact that Oli and Maddie didn’t tear off their uniforms first thing after getting home was mindboggling. 

He spotted the twins as they walked out the door. Maddie was hugging her books to her chest as she listened to Oli talk about something, his hands flying in the air. JJ smiled. He got out of the car, waving to them so they could see. He let out a laugh as a group of their friends gasped. 

“It’s JJ!” He heard one of the kids exclaim. He waved to them. 

He watched as Oli and Maddie beamed. He liked how proud they were of him. He loved how they were always constantly bragging to their friends about how cool he was or how awesome he was. It was one of the best feelings in the world. It was indescribable. All he wanted to do was live up to those expectations. His biggest fear was them growing up and deciding he wasn’t as cool as they had thought when they were little. 

He walked around the car to greet them with a hug. Sweet, little Maddie waited as Oli jumped on JJ with the most emphatic hug. It knocked the wind out of him. He let out a small laugh as he hugged his brother tight before giving his little sister a long hug. He opened the doors for them and waited as they got in and secured before getting in himself. Olivier was already talking his ear off about Skate Canada as Maddie sat quietly, a smile on her face. JJ took it all in. He really needed a day with them, just them, to push away those doubts in his mind. But there was always that anxiety he felt that they’d finally realize he wasn’t what they thought. 

“JJ?” Maddie asked aske Oli paused for a breath. 

“Hm?” 

“Maman and Papa said you had a girlfriend. Can I meet her?” Maddie grinned at him. 

“Sure! Let me call her!” JJ smiled. 

He watched Maddie and Oli give each other excited looks in the mirror. He smiled to himself, feeling the excitement wash over him. He honestly couldn’t wait to introduce everyone to Isabella. Starting with his siblings would be perfect. He knew he didn’t have to worry about them. They were honestly the biggest supporters of anything he did. He once picked out a jacket at the store for winter and the twins had talked about it being so cool for the duration of the season. 

“Hi, JJ!” Isabella answered.

“Hi! So…I’m taking my little brother and sister for ice cream. Do you want to join us?” JJ glanced at Maddie who was holding her fists to her chin in anticipation. 

“Ice cream? It’s so cold.” Isabella let out a small laugh.

“I’ll buy you hot chocolate. It’s a tradition. Mondays we get ice cream. They really want to meet you.” JJ pressed. He was eager to see her and excited for his siblings to meet the best girl he knew. 

“Okay. I’m waiting for the bus at school if you want to pick me up?” Isabella said after a minute. 

JJ agreed and letting her know he’d be there soon before hanging up and getting ready to go. He drove quietly, thanking about how nice the day would be. Maddie was reading a book and Oli was drawing in his sketch pad. He thought about how interesting it was that he never had to explain himself to his siblings. He never remembered a minute that he or his parents ever had to explain why they needed to interact a certain way with him or why JJ did certain things. That had been a conversation he had gotten so used to having with his extended family, with psychologists, coaches. He hated that conversation. He felt so exposed, so…so awkward. But his brother and sister never had to have it explained. 

To them there were certain things that went without saying. JJ was never still, not even in his sleep. He talked a lot. He could get loud without even realizing it. Sometimes he didn’t shut up for hours. When things got overwhelming, he couldn’t cope and would crumble. When he was supposed to be concentrating on something, you didn’t talk. Television, movies, music, those sort of thing needed to be turned off when you wanted his full attention. Make eye contact, make physical contact. These were just things that were. It was comforting that he never had to explain it. 

JJ pulled up into the Villa Maria’s parking lot. Groups of girls were standing around, talking as they waited for their rides. He spotted Isabella standing to the side, leaning against the wall of the school. She had ear buds in as she looked at her phone. He smiled and pulled up in front of her. Her eyes didn’t leave the phone for a moment. JJ considered calling her. Maybe he could roll the window down and call her? No, she wouldn’t hear him. He didn’t want to honk and scare her.

He told Oli and Maddie he’d be right back before getting out of the car and walking over to her. She still didn’t look up as he stood next to her. He laughed softly to himself before reaching over and tapping her on the opposite shoulder from the side he was standing on. She jumped, her head whipping to her left. He couldn’t help but fall into his hysterics. She turned to him and joined him in laughter. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you! You scared me!” Isabella held her hand to her chest. 

“I’m sorry!” JJ gasped out. “It was too easy.”

He pulled her to him in a hug. She smelled so good as usual. He closed his eyes, breathing her in. He didn’t want to get go. She fit so perfectly in his arms. She started to pull away from the hug. He stopped her and kissed her gently, a smile plastered on his face. He frowned as Isabella stepped away from him quickly. Isabella looked around her, pushing her hair back with a strange look on her face. JJ looked over to a group of girls who were staring at them. 

“Let’s go.” Isabella muttered walking quickly to the car. 

JJ followed her to the car. She was so cute. Oli and Maddie were grinning like crazy when they got into the car. Isabella fastened her seat belt. She gripped her phone tight and smiled at the two kids in the back seat. 

“Hello!” She said. 

“Hi!” The twins said in unison. 

“Isabella, this is Olivier, Oli, and Madeline, Maddie. They’re twins and both ten. Guys, this is Isabella, my beautiful girlfriend.” JJ beamed, kissing Isabella’s cheek. 

They exchanged pleasantries as JJ started driving. He wanted to get to the place soon so he could hold Isabella’s hand and hug her and talk to her. He couldn’t do it sitting in the car, not really anyway. And ice cream was going to be amazing. His favorite was strawberry. He could already taste it. He had a need. 

They pulled into the parking space and piled out of the car. Maddie immediately took Isabella’s hand and smiling up at her. JJ smiled taking Isabella’s other hand as Olivier led the way. The boy opened the door for a few people and held it for his the rest of their party to go in. JJ ordered his triple scoop strawberry ice cream cone. Oli got a double scoop chocolate cone. Maddie ordered a banana split with extra sprinkles. And as promised, JJ got Isabella a cup of hot chocolate. The ice cream shop had the best hot chocolate in JJ’s opinion. 

They found a table in the corner. Maddie insisted on sitting next to Isabella. JJ loved the fact that his little sister seemed to be so taken with Isabella. Oli seemed pretty excited about her too, but he was more interested in his ice cream. 

“You’re really pretty.” Maddie observed with a smile. “I like your hair a lot. It’s really black and I love it. And your eyeliner is so good. Do you like red lipstick or are those your lips? I really love it.” Maddie gushed. Isabella let out a small chuckle. 

“Thank you! You’re really pretty too! I love your hair. It’s really cute.” Isabella said, reaching over to play with it. “I do really love red lipstick!” 

“Do you think you can teach me how to do make up like yours? I get to do the Novice competitions this year and my mom said that she could do it, but I want you to because you’re so pretty!” Maddie grinned. 

Maddie’s dark auburn hair that matched their mothers was falling out of the little pigtails she’d insisted their mother do that morning. From the looks of it JJ was sure she’d had a good time in gym class and recess that day. Her grin was missing a couple teeth. JJ knew she’d been a little self-conscious about performing before the adult teeth had come in despite everyone reassuring her that she was only ten and nobody was going to think negatively since she was still so young. But now with Isabella talking to her and complementing her, JJ could see his sister gaining more confidence. His heart swelled just a bit more in his love for his sister. 

JJ watched his girlfriend and sister talk, and laugh for a bit as he ate his ice cream. He couldn’t wait for his parents to meet Isabella and see how much Maddie liked her. Maddie had been begging for a sister for five years now and even though Isabella was just JJ’s girlfriend, he really hoped that they could have that relationship. Maddie deserved it. He couldn’t help but wonder how Isabella felt about being an only child. 

“Are you JJ’s favorite girlfriend?” Oli said through the last bite of his ice cream. 

“What?” Isabella looked from Oli to JJ, who couldn’t help but laugh. 

“My big brother is really cool and has like a million girlfriends. So are you his favorite?” Oli repeated, folding his arms on the table. 

“Um…yeah, I am.” Isabella narrowed her eyes at JJ. 

“JJ Girls,” was all he said. Isabella nodded. JJ hoped she understood. 

“Yeah, JJ Girls are his girlfriends. They’re like really in love with him and wanna kiss him. Blech!” Oli made a face. “Kissing is so gross.” 

“Wait until you’re older,” Isabella giggled, her eye sparkling as she looked at JJ. “I really like it.”

“Me too,” JJ agreed. He wanted to kiss her so badly. Her lips were so soft. His eyes drifted to them. The bright red lip stick making them pop against her skin. She was perfect. 

……………

Isabella shifted to make herself a bit more comfortable as she and JJ kissed in his car outside her house. Something had changed in their relationship since their ice cream outing with his siblings. JJ seemed much more interested in her than before. He’d dropped them off at home before taking her home. And things had just….happened. It had just supposed to have been a good night kiss, but it’d turned into more. 

Isabella pulled away, slightly out of breath from it all. JJ’s eyes opened, his lids fluttering open as he looked at her with that sleepy drunk look on his face. His hands were still rubbing up and down her sides. She smiled at him, planting one more kiss on his lips. She stayed there, her arms around his neck, watching him. They didn’t say a word. The silence was everything. Their feelings hung in the air. There was more attraction than ever. She rested her forehead against his. She’d never made out with anyone before. She’d never felt the rush of it all. They were so close, so much closer than she’d ever felt to anyone. She didn’t want to move. 

“I love you,” JJ whispered. 

Isabella pulled back, sitting properly in her seat. JJ was holding her hand, rubbing circles on the back as he smiled at her. He loved her? How long had it been? A few weeks? But he loved her. He said so. And she loved him, but her mouth wouldn’t form the words. She licked her lips and pulled her jacket around her. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back,” JJ smiled. “I just wanted you to know. And I’m sorry if it’s too soon. My parents say I move too fast, but it’s hard you know because I just…I feel everything so strongly. It’s like…” He sat up in his seat and watched her. “It’s like my emotions go from zero to sixty and I either don’t care or am all in.” He shrugged. “But I do mean it, I love you.”

“Thank you,” Isabella smiled. “I…I….I lo….I really, really, really like you,” She smiled, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. 

“Thanks,” JJ laughed softly. 

“Maybe I should go inside…” Isabella started. She glanced at the house. She didn’t want to go back in. She wanted to stay here, with JJ.

“Oh okay. I’m sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?” JJ’s eyebrows knit in concern. 

“No, no, you’re perfect.” Isabella smiled. “I just don’t want my parents to get suspicious or think we’re…ya know.” 

“Oh…” JJ’s eyebrows shot up. “Well no, we don’t want that.” She shifted. 

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah.” 

“So…” Isabella picked up the backpack from the floor. “I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Maybe one more kiss?” JJ asked.

“Of course. One more couldn’t hurt.” Isabella giggled. 

“I love you.” JJ whispered before they kissed once more. 

Isabella didn’t care that it was sloppy or awkward. She loved it. She wanted more. But she knew she couldn’t. She needed to go inside. Whatever had happened that made them closer, she didn’t know. She wanted to ask, but part of her didn’t care. This was all she wanted. JJ. She and her friends used to practice kissing like this at sleepovers using those teen magazines and their hands, waiting for the day they could finally do it. But it wasn’t what she’d thought it would be. It was JJ who pulled away first this time. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. 

“For what?” Isabella asked. 

“For being you. For putting up with me. For fitting so well with my siblings. I was worried, but you and Maddie…you’re like best friends now. She was so excited that you both had similar uniforms. And Oli thinks everything you know about figure skating is so cool. And you’re just…really good with them. I just…I appreciate it.” JJ smiled. “Is that…is that weird?”

“No, no, it’s not weird. You love your siblings. You’re really close to your family.” Isabella smiled. 

“Yeah.” JJ smiled. “Oh! I’m so sorry I completely forgot, my parents agreed to coach your friend, the one that wants to do ice skating. They said that it’s too late for this season, but if she wants to come by during the season they’ll let her practice with us.” 

“Oh…” 

Isabella’s heart sank. She’d forgotten she mentioned that to him. Why had she done that? Cloe didn’t deserve it. She and Sophia had been so awful the last month and a half. Why did she get to be coached by her idols? Honestly the idea of her being around JJ was sickening itself. Cloe was prettier than she was. She had long blonde curls and big doe eyes. She was so slender and fit and tall. She was honestly built like a model. She and JJ both loved skating. What if they bonded too much and she lost one of the best people she’d ever known? It didn’t make sense for him not to be into Cloe. Wasn’t she perfect? 

Isabella said good night quickly, pecking JJ on the lips once more before getting out and rushing to the house. She didn’t want him to see her upset. She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes. Cloe and Sophia had tried to get her to bleach her hair back in grade eight. She wanted to. She begged her parents to let her get blonde hair and to get it curled and they had refused. They had taught her how to do her eyeliner to make her eyes look different. They’d tried to get her to change everything. But she never could. What if JJ saw that? Isabella felt sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope this chapter didn't feel like a filler? 
> 
> Please comment! It makes my day! xoxox


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so late! I have had a crazy couple days. I hope y'all enjoy this! :)

Skate Canada was so close. With Grand Prix series was weeks away, JJ was finding himself getting more and more distracted. He couldn't focus on his school work to save his life. He felt bad for his mother. She was trying so hard to make him feel like a normal kid, but he knew he wasn't. He never had been, never given the chance. He craved being on the ice which was where he kept finding himself. 

He sipped his water, looking around at the empty rink. He could never think of a reason why there were never more people here, more waiting to get in. He didn't mind having other people around while he practiced his jumps and program. He knew how to do it in a closed space. Usually, people would draw and invisible line about halfway across the ice when JJ was having these moods. It was three years in the making. People had just gotten used to it. It was something he loved about his parents' rink. Nobody bothered him. There weren't constant fans. People would talk to him, sure, but not when he was busy. 

JJ sat his water bottle down and started the program from the top. He didn't need the music to play. He heard it in his head. If he closed his eyes he could feel the air of the competition and add that element of pressure. If he concentrated close enough, he could almost hear the soft rumble of the audience. He finished the program, eyes still closed. He could hear applause. A smile danced on his face as he panted from the exertion. 

"Beautiful! Bravo, JJ!" 

He opened his eyes in surprise. Renee was standing off to the side, clapping and smiling. He waved to her and took off to join her. He hadn’t realized she was working today. He hadn’t seen her when he’d come in. He was sure of that because if she had been working, he would have talked to her. It was impossible for him not to talk to her. How long had he known her? Most of his life. Never once had she made him feel badly for anything, so why would he not talk to her?

“Thank you! I’m really sorry, I didn’t know you were working. If I missed you, I’m sorry.” JJ frowned. “How are you? How school?”

“That’s because I’m not. It’s after hours,” she smiled, pushing him slightly. He smiled at the exchange. “I decided to take a break from school work for a bit and come skate and I have a key with special permission for after-hours access. Besides I kind of had a feeling you’d be here and would need someone to look after you.” 

She steadied herself as she took off her guards and entered the rink. JJ watched her for a moment. Renee was wearing a pair of black leggings under a black skirt with a tight neon pink jacket. The fabric looked so comfortable. Did he use the right type for his costume? What if it ended up being uncomfortable? What if the whole program all he could think about how was how scratchy the fabric was on his skin? What if it was too tight? What if it was too loose? What if the measurements were wrong and something happened? 

He felt his heart start racing. He squeezed his eyes tight and took a few deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. Just once more with his program should do the trick. Or maybe ten? He didn’t know or care how many times it took. All he knew was that he didn’t want to feel like this. And he was not about to have a breakdown in front of Renee of all people. She’d seen them far too many times. He planted the smile on his face, closed his eyes and let himself do what came naturally, what was fun and relaxing. _It’s just skating. Don’t worry about anything else._

“Soooo…JJ,” Renee called as he finished once more. He’d lost track of how many times he’d gone through it now. 

“Yeah?” JJ planted the smile on his face as he looked over at her, her dark brown eyes staring into his. 

“How many times are you going to do that program? When do I get to see it with music? Your dad never lets me in on practice.” She crossed her arm, giving him a stern look. 

“At Skate Canada International,” JJ winked as he took off once more. 

“Is that anyway to treat a friend?” Renee asked. 

“You said friend!” JJ grinned. 

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it.” Renee grinned back. “But I’m serious. I keep watching you do it and I know you’re playing it in your head, and I can almost hear it, but I’m dying here!” 

JJ thought about it to himself quietly. His parents were always so strict about full practice. Not a single soul other than the three of them were allowed in. They didn’t want someone recording the whole program. JJ found the whole idea to be ridiculous, but they insisted that people might steal it, skaters who weren’t as good who hadn’t made it this far. They were probably being overly cautious. They didn’t particularly like him practicing when the rink was busy, not the full thing. Jumps, footwork, sure. But to put it all together…they would rather not. But it was Renee. He could trust her. His parents trusted her. Hell, she was the only person his parents ever let baby sit him as a kid. Not even family had been allowed that. She was practically his sister…

“Don’t tell my parents,” JJ muttered as he zoomed to the side. Renee followed him, an eager expression on her face. He pulled out his phone and opened his music app. “I’ll signal to you and you start it, okay?” Renee nodded. 

JJ glanced around the rink. Not a single soul was there. It was unsettling. Why? Who wouldn’t want to be here? What if his parents didn’t make the money they needed and they lost this place? What if he had to stop skating to help them? They’d have to work other ways if they didn’t have this. He took a deep breath to steady himself. Focus on the ice.

“Are you okay?” Renee called to him. JJ shrugged. 

“It’s weird not having people here. It’s unsettling.”

“JJ…” Renee let out a soft laugh. “The rink’s closed, remember? I just told you.” 

“What?” JJ frowned. “Oh yeah, you did.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Renee frowned. “You are less focused than usual. You get like this when you’re anxious.” 

Renee always knew. Ever since he was little she could read him like a book. He both hated and loved it. He sighed and went to join her by the wall so they weren’t calling to each other. He stared at the ice, the beautiful ice. The only place he felt okay, like he was good at something. So why was he feeling so off? 

“I am.” JJ confessed. “I’m worried. I saw the assignments, you know? And there are so many good skaters. I was really hoping I could get a gold this year. Last year was awful. I just…and then…but what if my parents are disappointed?” 

“JJ, you could never disappoint them,” Renee nudged him. “You know you’re the favorite right?” She winked. 

“Shut up. I am not.” JJ pushed her slightly. She laughed quietly, looking out at the ice herself. 

“You are. They’d never say it out loud, but trust me. You’re worried, right? That’s normal. You are allowed to be nervous. But you know what? I think you’re going to be great. You’re Canada’s hope,” she winked. 

“Yeah right…” He sighed. “And stop adding pressure!”

“Look, you are the son of two Olympic ice dance two time champions. You have the genetics for this. You have the best guidance of anyone out there. Your love and passion for skating is astounding. I’ve never seen anyone love something so much. You practice constantly. You work hard. And I think all that together is worth a lot, you know? Who cares who the competition is or how many medals they have? You’re Jean Jacques Leroy for fuck sake. You are a powerhouse for figure skating. Now let’s see your program once with music and I’m going take you for poutine.” She shooed him to the center. 

“It’s late. You know my mom doesn’t like me eating this late.” He grinned as he took his place. 

“It’s like when I would split sweets with you. What did I tell you? Don’t tell your parents.” Renee winked, before playing the music. 

…………..

Isabella held her breath as she waited by her locker for the moment she’d see Cloe and Sophia walking down the hall with the little group of girls that always followed them around. Despite how sick she felt or how hard it was to breathe as she waited, she knew she had to do this. Cloe maybe be treating her terribly, but she wanted to be better than that. She had to be. And even if it was painful, she was going to tell Cloe that her dreams were possible. That Alain and Nathalie Leroy, Canadian legends themselves, had agreed to coach her for only twenty dollars per hour long session. It was far cheaper than any other coach that Cloe had looked into. And maybe now her parents would agree to it. She was sure that Cloe could even pay for it herself. She was working at the mall after all. 

Her heart sped into gear as her stomach twisted. Cloe and Sophia were laughing, arms linked as they walked. Cloe’s blonde curls bounced perfectly as he walked. Sophia brushed back her auburn hair behind her ear. Isabella wasn’t sure what they were talking about today, but she remembered that feeling of walking down the halls like that as they walked to class. She’d always felt so special to be their friends, especially as they got older. She felt prettier when she walked with them, as though somehow just being around them she’d radiate beauty. Lately, she felt so disgusted in herself. 

“Cloe?” Isabella started. 

“Ew,” Cloe scoffed, throwing her hand in Isabella’s face. “Don’t talk to me.”

Isabella tried hard to keep it together. She had to do this. She lived by the mantra of only elevating other girls. It didn’t matter how mean they were to her. She couldn’t let that part of her down. She refused to let them destroy her ideals. If she was going to succeed in her goals, she was going to have to do what was right even if it was painful because doing the right thing wasn’t always comfortable. You didn’t always feel good. But you had to do it. If there was one thing Isabella Yang had, it was conviction to her morals. 

“You’ll want to hear this. It’s great news!” Isabella forced a cheerful tone and smile. 

“I’m sure,” Cloe rolled her eyes as she kept walking down the hall. 

“The Leroys agreed to coach you.” Isabella closed her eyes, flinching as the words came out. 

Cloe stopped dead her tracks, spinning around, her face blank. Isabella swallowed hard as the girl stormed toward her. She resisted the urge to back against the wall. What was Cloe going to do? Isabella had known her for most of their lives, yet she had no idea what to expect. Cloe’s face didn’t show any emotion. Just blank. 

“What?” Cloe crossed her arms. 

“I mentioned to JJ you skated, but you had never been able to find a coach because your parents don’t see it as practical. I told him that you loved his parents, looked up to them. He said he’d ask them, said that sometimes they coached other kids even though their own children were obviously priority. He told me last night they had agreed,” Isabella tugged on her sleeves. Cloe blinked at her. 

“Are you fucking with me?” Cloe glared.

“No! They’re asking for twenty dollars a session. Each session is an hour. It’s flexible, but they agreed.” Isabella took a deep breath, focusing on keeping it from shuddering. 

“I don’t believe you.” Cloe spat. 

“Believe what you want, but they own Ice World. They do clinics for kids and beginners. JJ teaches a novice class for kids under eight every Saturday morning. His dad does novice classes older than eight every Saturday afternoon. Look it up. Practice starts at five in the morning every morning but Saturday. Show up and see for yourself.” Isabella crossed her arms to mirror Cloe. She turned her eyes up to her, keeping strong. Lead by example, she told herself. 

“Why would you help me?” Cloe asked, glancing back at Sophia. 

“You were my friend once. And regardless what you think of me now, I valued that. Also it just came out.” Isabella smiled sickeningly sweet, cocking her head to the side. “Excuse me, I’m late for English.” And with that, Isabella turned and walked toward the classroom. 

…………..

School passes surprisingly uneventful. One would have thought it would have been a nice break after the last month, but Isabella was on high alert, expecting for something to happen just when she allowed herself to feel comfortable. She hated how anxious she was. It was as though she couldn’t breathe. There were no whispers, no notes, nothing slipped in her locker. Lunch passed with no confrontation. It was so calm…too calm, like the calm before a storm.

She let out a breath as classes were dismissed for the weekend. Her mind switched over from alert to her birthday plans. Tomorrow she’d be turning sixteen. She’d have the celebration with her family at the restaurant which her grandparents were closing for the day in honor of the celebration. Her cousins had told her about all the decorations they were planning. The best food she could imagine would be served. Her mother promised a delicious seang cream cake for the occasion. The creamy, deliciousness danced on her tongue, a smile playing on her face. She couldn’t wait. 

Isabella hugged herself, leaning against the wall as she waited for JJ to pick her up. It had been his idea to pick her up from school every day now rather than having her ride the bus. He claimed it was far too cold for her to be walking so far despite the fact that the walk took her about five minutes, but she wasn’t complaining. He got to see him every day. It was nice. Usually he was already there when she got out of school, waiting and ready in his car usually watching something on his phone, but today he was running a little late.

“Happy birthday, Isabella!” She heard a group of girls sing behind her. 

She turned around to find Sophia and Cloe standing in front of about five girls from the club. Cloe had her arms extended out with a wrapped box in her hands. Isabella’s eyes glued to it. Her heart raced. Was this real or was this the big show they’d been waiting for all day. She studied their faces for a moment. Cloe had a smile plastered on her face, her green eyes sparkling with excitement. Sophia’s face mirrored her friends. The other girls were smiling or looked rather anxious for some reason. Isabella slowly took the box, thanking them awkwardly. She wasn’t going open it here. Or in JJ’s car. But JJ would ask about it. She knew it. She wished now she was riding the bus home and she could be in peace until she got home for whatever was waiting inside. 

“Well come on then, open it!” Cloe pressed.

“I think I’ll leave it for tomorrow at the party,” Isabella forced a smile. “Thank you.”

“Party?” Cloe frowned, exchanging a look with Sophia. “You didn’t tell us about any party.”

Isabella couldn’t help but let out an exasperated laugh. Were they serious? But they just looked at her with confused expressions. Part of her wanted to walk away, to ignore them the way she felt they deserved. But there was another part of her, the part of her that wanted to honor the values her parents had instilled in her since she was a child. Be kind to everyone even if they don’t deserve it. So she stayed, planted there, ready to engage in the painful conversation when every part of her wanted to run away. 

“What’s funny?” Sophia asked. 

“Just…you two haven’t exactly been acting too friendly lately.” Isabella brushed her hair behind her ear nervously. 

“Oh that?” Cloe and Sophia laughed, each hooking arms with her. “That was just all in good fun! You know how it is. We were playing!”

“Sure.” 

Isabella swallowed hard and searched for JJ’s car. She’d never wanted to see that blue accord so much in her life. Where was he? Maybe she should text him? Where was her phone? Nothing about this was comforting. She was so nervous. She just wanted them to leave her alone. Please let him be here soon…

“What are you doing?” Sophia pressed. 

“Just a small thing with family.” Isabella tried to keep it vague. 

“And JJ…” Sophia sent daggers at the ground. 

“Well…yes,” Isabella shifted uncomfortably, trying to take a subtle step back. Why had she been honest? She could have made something up about family only, but she was sure JJ would post about it. He was so…so…social. 

“So…when is it? The party. Because of course your best friends in the whole world should be there, right?” Cloe played with Isabella’s hair absently. 

“Actually my family wants to keep it…”

“Bella!” Isabella jumped as JJ’s voice broke the tension and his arms snaked around her waist. He was grinning so big, a kiss planted on her cheek. “Sorry I’m late. I was practicing. Oh, listen, I wanna taken you out for your birthday, okay! Tonight! Early! I have a really, really, really good day and I need to tell you all about it!” He beamed. 

“Hi, JJ,” Isabella forced a smile. She brushed back her hair, running her tongue over her bottom lip nervously. Her eyes flickering toward the girls whose smiles looked painted on their faces. “That would be great.” 

“Oh, hi, Bella’s friends!” JJ smiled waving at them. 

“Hi, JJ!” They cooed in return. 

Isabella’s heart was in her throat. Why had he gotten out of the car? Why had he snuck up on her? She thought he didn’t like her friends? Why would he want to interact with them? She was about to drag him back to his car when Cloe began talking to him. 

“Say, I heard your parents agreed to coach me!” She beamed. 

“Cloe, right?” JJ squinted his eyes, his arm around Isabella’s shoulders. She didn’t move. She didn’t dare. 

“Yes!” The girl got closer to the couple. Isabella could feel hear breath on her skin. “I am so excited! I had lessons when I was a little kid and since I was like eleven, my parents refused to pay for more than that even though I have entered a few competitions...not that I’ve never gone further than local.” 

“Oh wow, well skating is a lot of fun! You know I actually started when I was three? I remember the first time I was able to do a jump. I was little. like eight. My parents weren’t expecting it, but I wanted to do it and I did and it was fun. The first time you do an international competition you just get this….this adrenaline!” JJ’s eyes sparkled. 

Isabella felt her heart sink. She knew Cloe had hooked him. She’d brought up skating. JJ could talk about ice skating for hours. She knew. He had talked to her once all day about it on the phone. She shivered against the thought. But she couldn’t exactly break the conversation right then. 

“Oh, Bella, are you cold?” JJ asked, taking his arm away from her. He put his jacket around her shoulder and hugged her tight to him. “Sorry, where were we? Oh yeah, scoring.”

Isabella had a feeling it was going to be a long afternoon. She stood there patiently waiting trying to focus more on JJ than anything else. Maybe that would help? He was here, hugging her tight as he swayed back and forth talking excitedly about his passion number one. She did enjoy listening to him talk about skating. She could feel the positive energy dripping from every word. His eyes were so bright and his smile wide and genuine. She could deal with the girls being there for just a bit couldn’t she? Isabella knew the busses would be coming soon, or the parents. Then the girls would leave them to their activities. 

As expected the girls left one by one, calling a soft goodbye to JJ. Isabella watched their faces fall when it was time to go. A few looked relieved. Those girls she wanted to yell at. How dare they treat JJ like that? She couldn’t believe it. It was rude. JJ was excited and they were happy to leave that excitement behind? Wait…why did she care? They were leaving weren’t they? 

Eventually they were down to Sophia and Cloe. Their eyes kept falling to Isabella. She could see the daggers aimed at her. Why? Isabella wanted to cry. She felt the tears pricking in her eyes. She just wanted to leave. If she asked JJ to go, he would gladly leave. She knew that, but she was worried about Sophia and Cloe. What would they do if she broke a good moment? She felt anger rising in her chest. These were the same girls who had pushed him into a panic attack and it was like he had forgotten that and made two new best friends. 

Isabella spotted the silver VW, Cloe’s mom in the driver’s seat wearing her designer sunglasses. Her hair was pinned up in the perfect bun. Isabella could practically see the outfit she must of have had one. The woman was always dressed the nines just like Cloe when they weren’t wearing their school uniforms. Designer sun dresses in the summer. Sweater dresses in the winter. Designer suits to special occasions. She used to wish her mother was like Cloe's, but now it felt so…fake. Isabella was proud of her mother. She didn’t need to focus so much on appearances. She watched the woman wave to the girls who waved goodbye and actually hugged Isabella as they ran to the car. She could feel the woman’s eyes on her. It was unsettling. 

JJ hugged her tighter, swaying back and forth. She didn’t want to pull away. The girls were gone. The party forgotten as well as the supposed gift in Isabella’s hands. Everything felt so strange. She didn’t know why she felt this way. It was almost an out of body experience. JJ pulled away and kissed her softly. 

“You ready to go?” He asked, his smile getting wider. 

“Yeah.” She muttered walking toward the car. “I thought you didn’t like my friends.” Isabella winced at how passive aggressive she sounded. 

“They seem nice now.” He grinned. “Plus I’m getting a rink mate! I haven’t had one in years! I went through several coaches, so I never had one long. I’m so excited.” He continued on not picking up on the mood. 

Isabella shook her head, her jaw set as she stared out the window. She shouldn’t be angry at him. He didn’t know. She hadn’t told him. JJ was a very social person who was so excited about his life and dreams. He was just the sweetest person. He hadn’t meant anything by it. She knew that. Still she felt the daggers still in her heart. She didn’t feel like going out or doing anything. She wanted to go home and curl up in bed and cry. This was one of the worst days of her life. It was strange because nothing had actually happened. But she was emotionally drained. 

JJ continued on, talking the entire time until they reached one of the art museums in town. Isabella groaned, leaning into the seat. She thought he’d meant going out like a dinner or movie or something. She was not dressed to go to a museum and frankly neither was he. She was tired. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. She needed to recharge. She needed to go home. 

“Are you okay?” JJ frowned. 

“I’m fine.” Isabella said, her voice three octaves too high as she tried to force a smile. She let out a long sigh. “Actually no, I’m not. I had a really bad day and I just want to go home. Can we do this later? Please?” She hated the tears in her eyes. She hated feeling so vulnerable. 

“Oh…” JJ breathed. He reached over and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think…Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?” He pulled away, his eye brows knit in concern. 

“I just want to go home,” she whispered, pulling her knees to her chest. “I’m sorry. I just…I can’t talk about it right now.”

“Oh that’s okay. I get it.” JJ took her hand. “You know I do. You’ve seen me not so great. I’m sorry. Wow. And I kept you so long after school. You should have told me!” 

“I know. It’s okay.” Isabella wiped a stray tear quickly off her cheek. JJ gasped and pulled her in a tight hug, whispering to her softly. She resisted at first, but after a moment melted into him and let herself have a long cry.  
…………..

Balloons and streamers lined the walls of the restaurant. Her favorite group was pounding through the speakers. Isabella laughed while she and her cousins did the dance from the music video for the song playing. She had missed these moments with her cousins. The stress from yesterday had melted away since last night and all she could think about was the fun she was having with her family. She hadn’t heard a single word of French and for some reason it was comforting. 

They finished their dance and Isabella checked her phone for word from JJ. He wasn’t answering her calls or texts. She hoped she hadn’t pushed him away too much the day before. She knew he was sensitive when it came to people he cared for. Had she hurt him? She wasn’t sure. She hoped not. But still he hadn’t arrived to the party. She smiled at seeing he’d sent a text that he was on his way. She pocketed her phone and continued with the celebrations. 

The table set up against one wall was piling higher and higher with gifts. She felt that child-like excitement build up in her. She had liked to think she didn’t care about the gifts, that they were just nice gestures. Adults always said that the older you get the less it’s about the gifts and more about the experience with friends and family. She had thought this was going to be the year, but clearly it wasn’t. It felt so much like Christmas. 

Her family kept giving her hugs and wishing her well. Each new aunt and uncle who arrived. It wasn’t that she had a large family, but everyone was coming to spread out. JJ would be able to sneak in unnoticed. He wouldn’t be late. She didn’t really care when he showed up, just wanted him to be there. It was exciting. The first year with a boyfriend. Her first boyfriend ever really. She hoped that her family loved JJ. Her parents had a warm reception to him, so she was sure the rest of the family would. 

Her cousins talked with her, eager to meet the famous Jean Jacques Leroy. They weren’t big into figure skating, but they were still Canadian and he was still a local hero in many people’s eyes. His parents were local legends. Winter games was their time to shine. They’d heard her talk about him so much over the years they’d also grown to like him a lot and would always watch videos and competitions with her. It was the nice thing about them being somewhat close. 

The room was suddenly silent. Isabella looked up to find JJ standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, everyone’s eyes on him. Nobody moved or spoke. The music seemed louder in the quiet air. Isabella felt the smile spread over her face. She rushed across the room to him, hugging him and giving him a quick kiss before taking his hand and leading him into the room. 

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, JJ.” 

She went around the room introducing him to each person individually. She was so proud to have him. He was kind to everyone. He never once laughed at names like she had grown to expect. The realization of it all twisted her stomach. There was really a lot that she hadn’t paid much mind to that she was realizing had been going on regarding her friends. JJ smiled and talked politely with each person. Her grandparents had given him a once over, and met him with a skeptical expression, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was so respectful. She had known this about JJ for years, but she hadn’t seen the level of respect he was giving to her elder family members from anyone outside the family in her life. It was refreshing. 

Dinner was served. The whole room full of excited voices as they talked amongst themselves. Her family had effortless switched from Korean to French without so much as a second thought. They didn’t have the usual tension she’d come to expect from birthday parties or when she’d bring her friends along. She shifted in her chair thinking about it. She definitely didn’t want the girls back into her life. She hated herself for not realizing how rude they’d been. She knew they had made her grandparents uncomfortable. She sighed softly at the realization, thankful that nobody heard. 

JJ was talking to her mother about how homeschooling worked and why his family had chosen it. She listened to their conversation while she ate, learning that JJ really had no intention of going to a university or really perusing education past high school. Her mother nodded, a blank expression on her face. Isabella knew what she was thinking. That JJ wasn’t being practical or intelligent in his choices. She’d had that conversation with Cloe years ago about how she’d agreed with her parents that a figure skating career was too risky and waste. She was thankful that her mother didn’t pick a fight, but she knew there would be a conversation. 

It wasn't that her parents cared so much about school. Well they did. They both had higher degrees. But they were more focused on practicality. Isabella was encouraged to follow her heart as long as it was practical. Risks should be calculated for odds before being taken. Something like sports with no fall back was not practical in their minds. They mentioned it any time it was in the news that some athlete had a career ending injury. She prayed that JJ never had that happen. He loved skating so much. 

The lights flickered and the family started clapping and singing as her grandmother brought in the cake with the candles flickering, lighting the room just slightly. Isabella waited for them to finish before blowing out the candles, a smile plastered on her face. She just wanted to taste it. The cake was cut and served. JJ raved over it. It was his first time ever having seang cake and he was very pleased. Isabella laughed at how quickly he ate it. In between bites he would tell her how it was the best cake he’d ever tasted. 

Soon it was time for presents. Isabella eagerly unwrapped each one, thanking each person before going on to the next. Her parents had gotten her a new laptop. Her maternal grandparents had given her a new notebook and pen set. He father’s parents had given her some hair accessories she’d been wanting for months now. Clothes, make up, CDs, posters. In addition, she had discovered the gift from Cloe and the other girls had been a designer charm bracelet with figure skating charms attached. She had been so surprised. She really had expected something awful. Everything was perfect. She didn’t want the day to end. Everyone was having so much fun, but like all good things the party ended. 

JJ and Isabella bid the family farewell. She had agreed to go to an art show with him that night. Her parents told her to go ahead and they would take everything to the house. Everyone else stayed behind help clean up. Isabella felt so weird leaving them to clean by themselves. She and JJ had both offered, but her parents were having none of it. 

“Your family is so nice! I really like them all so much!” JJ smiled as they got in his car. 

“Really?” Isabella stared at him. 

“Um, yeah?” JJ laughed. “They’re all so nice. And your cousins are so cool! I can’t believe your mom made that cake? It was like heaven in my mouth. And your grandma’s cooking? The best. Don’t tell my mom.” He let out another laugh. 

“Wow…thanks,” she smiled. Nobody had ever complemented her family like that before. It was a nice change. 

“I don’t know what you find embarrassing about them,” JJ started. “I think they’re great.”

“Yeah…they are,” Isabella smiled. 

The art exhibit was beautiful. She and JJ told stories about the art quietly between each other, laughing while they made jokes about what was being said. It became a game. Tell the funniest story of each piece. JJ won with his idea that two people in one painting were arguing over who would get to breathe first when they were underwater. They’d laughed so much they were asked to leave. Isabella didn’t care. It was the best birthday she’d ever had and the best date. 

“I have something for you,” JJ smiled as Isabella was about to get out of the car to go inside. She waited eagerly, a smile on her face. 

“You really didn’t have to get me anything!” She insisted. 

“I know, but I wanted to. Close your eyes.” JJ grinned. She closed her eyes and he put one hand over them. She felt him pull away. “Okay. Open them!” 

“Oh my god…” Isabella breathed as he held out three tickets to Skate Canada International. “How…it’s been sold out.” 

“I’m in it,” JJ let out a soft laugh. “It’s for you on your friends. I know you all love skating and I thought it would be nice if you got to go this year!” He leaned over and kissed her deeply. 

“Wow…” She felt tears pricking her eyes. She couldn’t take Sophia and Cloe. She couldn’t bear it. But she wouldn’t say that. No. She could take her cousins. “Thank you. This is the best present.” She blinked back the tears, smiling at him. She pulled him into a kiss before bidding him good night. 

It was the best birthday yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment! xoxoxo


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this update is so late. I've had really rough week. I really hope to get back on schedule next week. Thank you so much for being so patient with me. xoxo

Saturday morning clinics were always fun. Classes were usually about five to ten kids between five and ten who wanted to learn to skate. Their faces were always eager in the beginning before turning to pure determination as they focused to stay balanced. JJ spent the first fifteen or so minutes depending on how many kids showed up for clinic making sure everyone's skates were laced and tied properly, making sure to educate the kids on the safety of it. He loved giving pointers on how to shift weight and distribute it. Body mechanics were vital. A few kids would hang onto the side while the more advanced or regulars skated slowly, wobbling with huge smiles plastered to their faces. JJ would go to those standing to the side and offer help. He'd hold their hands as they slowly made their way across the slippery surface, offering encouragement and praise as the child started to gain confidence. The three hours never felt like enough time. 

JJ loved kids. They were always so fun. They would joke and laugh and tell him stories. The regulars would bring him little gifts each week. Mostly small drawings they had done in school or at home. He had lost track of how many pictures he'd gotten of kids holding his hand as they smiled while they skated. He kept them in scrapbooks at home. His mom had been the one to suggest it years ago when he first started doing this. He wanted to save them all. This morning he'd received five drawings, a cup of coffee from one of the parents, and a small box of chocolate chip cookies. 

The kids hugged him and high fived him as they left the rink. JJ beamed as he watched kids run to their parents who were waiting in the lobby. A few of the parents who had stayed behind to watch practice were hanging back as they always did for a minute to talk to JJ and thank him for everything. He promised that they would resume clinics in two weeks after Skate Canada had finished. 

"JJ?" He turned around to find one of the regulars', a boy by the name of Paul, parents standing almost timidly behind him. He flashed a smile. 

"Hi!" He greeted enthusiastically. "How are you doing? Paul did great today! He's really gaining so much confidence. I think pretty soon he'll graduate to my dad's class." 

"We're well, thank you. Oh yes, Paul is doing very well. We just wanted to say thank you for everything. You're attitude and patience is so perfect for these kids." The mother smiled. 

"Oh it's honestly a pleasure!" JJ let out a small laugh. 

"Paul really looks up to you." JJ's smile widened. "Anyway, we wanted to say good luck this year. You're going to do so well. Remember what you tell the kids, if you're not having fun, you're not doing it right."

"Thank you! It really means so much."

They handed him a hot chocolate and a warm croissant before heading out. JJ smiled, leaning against the counter while he enjoyed the delicious treats. His mother would hate knowing how much caffeine he was given on Saturday mornings. She thought it made him jittery and less focused, but in reality he found it to be an almost magical substance. It would be a secret he’d take to his grave. 

He glanced outside. The sky was filled with grey storm clouds. He hoped so much that it would snow already. The cold was so much better than anything else. It made him feel safe, secure. He could breathe so much easier and the cold air feeling his lungs was so calming. A blizzard would be perfect. Cold weather meant skating season started. It meant he would finally be able to do something he was truly good at for all the world to see.

The rink was so quiet now. He could hear the clocks ticking. The way they were out of sync made his skin crawl. They were so loud as they echoed through the empty building. JJ wondered if it was possible to have them all sync up. It would be so much less distracting. He could actually sit in the silence. He tapped his in time to one of the ticks as he finished his hot chocolate. It was so rich, so warm. 

The front door opened and Renee walked in, rubbing her arms. Her curly hair was whipped into tangles from the wind. JJ couldn’t help but laugh. It reminded him of when he was little and kept running away from her this one day she was babysitting. He didn’t want to go back inside. It was too warm, too stuffy. He wanted to run around in the snow and catch snowflakes on his tongue. The wind had been so strong. She finally caught in him and spent the rest of the evening untangling his hair while he sat on the couch, not allowed to get up. It had been a fun time until the punishment. 

“Good morning!” JJ called. 

Renee looked at him, her face filled with pure annoyance as she made a grunt in response. She rolled his eyes as she walked in silently. JJ watched her clock in and start up the computer for check in. She didn’t speak a word as she got to work with inventory. She was never a morning person. In all the years she’d worked for his parents, he had never seen her happy before noon. She didn’t have a coffee with her this morning, but he wanted to talk to her so much. 

“Are you having a good morning? I think it’s going to snow soon!” He tried. 

“Jean-Jacques…shut the fuck up.” Renee glared at him. 

“Class was great, thanks for asking,” JJ laughed. 

“I will fucking murder you, don’t you think I won’t. I am not scared of your parents.” Her voice was gravely with sleep.

“They’d probably kill you if you murdered me and it’d be a fit of temporary insanity,” JJ winked. 

“Good. Then I can fucking sleep forever and not have to wake up at ungodly hours,” Renee muttered. 

“Do you want me to get you a coffee from Timmies?” JJ offered. 

“I want you to fuck off. I don’t care where you go, just leave. Why the fuck are you so cheerful so early in the morning? What is wrong with you?” She threw a glare at him. 

“You know you love me,” JJ blew her a kiss playfully. 

“I really don’t. I don’t feel anything but homicidal before noon.” 

JJ laughed, throwing his trash in the bin behind the desk. He needed to pick up Isabella anyone. He could get Renee a coffee and maybe some Timbits beforehand so she was nice and content before he introduced her officially to Isabella. He walked out the door, smiling as the cold wrapped around him. He paused for a moment, breathing in the cold October air. He couldn’t help but feel the excitement rise in him.

He walked three buildings down before stepping inside and buying the coffee and Timbits for Renee. He hummed as he walked back, popping one of the pastries in his mouth. She wouldn’t miss just one, now would she? JJ needed Renee ready to be presentable around people. It was so funny to him that she worked so many morning shifts despite hating everything in the world until around noon. He knew it was because she had late classes, but it was still funny. His father paid her just a little extra in the mornings because he knew how much she hated them. Alain and JJ would often pick up coffee and breakfast for her during the week after he finished morning practice. Renee would never speak to them, just take it and start in. JJ found it hilarious, but his parents did find it a bit bothersome. He was convinced the only reason they never had a talk with her about it was because nobody complained and they honestly loved Renee. She’d been a part of the Leroy family now for going on eight years. 

Renee was sitting at the counter, a textbook laid down as she stared at it with glossy eyes. JJ wasn’t even sure she was actually reading it or if she was literally just staring down at it. He watched for a moment. She was so still, unmoving. It was almost like she was dead. JJ shivered to himself. It made him anxious to see people that still. His body would yell at him to move more, but it never was satisfied. He set the coffee and pastries down silently. Renee took the cup. 

“What do you know? You’re not getting murdered today, Jean-Jacques,” she muttered not looking up. JJ let out a soft laugh before leaving. 

...........

Isabella was curled up in the corner of the couch, reading a book she’d borrowed from the library. She loved to read and horror fiction was her favorite. She really wasn’t very picky though. Her goal was to read all to books in the library at school before she graduated. She would knock out at least one a day. Her mother was worried she’d strain her eyes, but she never felt it was a problem. Her eyes never felt unfocused or bothered her, so what did it matter? She was convinced they were just getting old and since it hurt their eyes to read so much, they worried the same for their daughter. 

She was pulled away from her book by a sharp knock on the door. Isabella frowned, finding a stopping place as she walked to the door slowly finishing the last page of the chapter. She put the bookmark in and opened the door to see who was coming by unannounced on a Saturday afternoon only to find JJ beaming at her. 

“JJ!” Isabella gasped, hugged herself tightly. 

She wasn’t dressed. She was still wearing the fleece lined leggings she had worn to bed with a tank top underneath a hoodie. She wasn’t wearing a bra and was suddenly so self-conscious. She knew her hair was a mess and she still had make up smeared on her face from the remnants she’d been unable to get off the previous night. Her slippers were even more embarrassing...actual bunny slippers.

“Hey!” JJ smiled pushing his sunglasses back on top of his head. 

She wondered why he was wearing them on such an overcast day, but didn’t focus on it too much. He looked really cool like that. He looked like he’d just come from practice by the look of his clothing. He had on some track pants and an athletic shirt under his jacket which for some unknown reason was open despite the cold. Her boyfriend was crazy. She decided it just then. How else would it explain how completely unprepared he was for the weather and why would he be smiling at her like that when she was clearly not smiling back. 

“Do I get a kiss?” He let out a laugh leaning down. Isabella stepped back. “What’s wrong?” He frowned.

“You can’t just show up unannounced, JJ!” She scolded gently. “I’m not dressed.” 

“You look dressed to me?” He frowned. “And we had plans? I texted you I was on my way?” 

Isabella’s heart sank. He was right. They’d had plans. He wanted to take her to lunch and then go ice skating. He said he had a surprise for her. She’d completely forgotten. Her phone was upstairs in her room where the constant flow of messages and tweets would not bother her while she read a book about a haunted mortician’s office. How could she have done that? And she just scolded JJ…

“Oh…right. I’m so sorry. I forgot. Give me a minute to get dressed?” 

JJ nodded, stepping past her as she let him in. He plopped on the couch like he was at home and turned on the sport channels, flipping through each one as he looked for something he wanted to see. Probably ice skating. There were qualifiers going on for skaters who hadn’t scored well the previous year. She didn’t quite understand why he’d want to watch it. He was arguably one of the best skaters in the world and here he was watching people who hadn’t even made it to the final last year. Her suspicions were confirmed when a smile danced on his face. He leaned into the couch, almost seeming to melt as he watched a skater perform.

Isabella left him downstairs as she ran up to her room. She looked in the mirror. She looked awful. The smeared eyeliner gave the impression that she was overly tired or had a black eye on both sides. She groaned tried to clean it up a bit. It took a bit longer than she’d expected. She carefully applied her makeup. She needed to look beautiful to make up for earlier. Next she went to her hair. It was a mess, but she decided on throwing it up in a messy bun. She changed into a dress over her leggings and some cute boots. She grabbed her coat and ran downstairs. 

JJ had a big smile on his face, hands over his mouth as he stared teary eyed at the television. Isabella glanced at it to see a young kid skating to some opera song. The choreography and steps were beautiful. She gasped as he did a triple axel, landing perfectly. He couldn’t have been older than twelve. She hadn’t realized JJ had been watching the novice division. She hadn’t watched that in years. She sat down on the couch next to him as she waited. JJ slid off the couch, clapping enthusiastically as the child’s score was posted. Isabella couldn’t help but be impressed too. He made first place. 

“JJ, are you okay?” Isabella asked as tears fell down his face. She rubbed his back gently.

“He was in my class! My clinic! I didn’t even know he had started competing!” JJ announced. “I’m so proud of him. He came all the time and then he just stopped coming. He was really advanced for the age group I taught and wasn’t old enough to go to my dad’s class. Oh gosh, I’m so proud. It was beautiful, wasn’t it?” He breathed. 

“Wow, really?” 

JJ nodded. Isabella blinked at the television. It had cut to commercial. Part of her wanted to push for them to go because she knew her parents didn’t want her out too late, but she knew it was probably important to JJ to see his former student climb the podium. She wondered what it was like to see someone you helped succeed like that. JJ was so proud. They sat quietly together while they watched the medals be given. JJ was smiling like a mad man, tears falling down his face. Isabella watched him, her heart growing four sizes. 

Seeing the child get the medal and watching JJ’s reaction made Isabella feel so weird. She had hopes and dreams of her own and in the past month and a half she felt like she hadn’t done anything more for herself. It made her feel sick. Before everything happened, she was so focused on getting to where she wanted to be. She’d write sample articles on small things like award shows, athletes, concerts, TV shows, and the occasional movie review. She’d used to be so involved the in the school’s newspaper and all she’d been doing was sitting around doing nothing. She was having fun with JJ, and everything going on with her friends…ex-friends...had really derailed her. She was so mad at herself. How could she do this? How could she let herself be distracted? JJ wasn’t letting her distract him from his goals. Sophia and Cloe could go fuck themselves really. It hurt, but she’d be damned if she let them keep her from her dreams. 

Monday she was going to walk into Mr. Madeux’s classroom and apologize for her absence in the journalism club and newspaper. She would write articles this weekend. Maybe she could cover the skating season. She did have a primary source and she did have tickets to Skate Canada. Maybe JJ would help her out. She could ask him to introduce her to the skaters and then she could follow at least the Grand Prix Series. But until then, she would need to come up with something else. Perhaps a movie review? Music review? Talk about the festivals coming up? Winter games? There was so much. 

“Are you ready to go?” JJ asked, a smile on his face. 

Isabella jumped. She’d been so lost in her thoughts. She nodded, moving to sit on the edge of the couch. Part of her wanted to cry from the frustration, but the other part of her wanted so badly to move on. A month and a half of being out of practice wasn’t anything to cry over. She would get back into it immediately when she got home. Maybe she could talk it over with JJ? See if the plan to cover the series was plausible. She jumped up and followed JJ to the door. They pulled their shoes on before going out to the car. 

………….

The rink was much bigger than she’d remembered. The double doors were heavy old variety rather than the updated version that she was used to. JJ opened the door with no effort telling her through laughter about when he was little he would try to push the doors open with his whole body, but the doors opened out. The mental image of a tiny version of himself trying so hard to do the impossible made her laugh too. JJ took her hand leading her inside. 

The linoleum floors always seemed to be so bright each time they’d gone in, which had only been maybe three times. It reminded Isabella of school and how dull the floors were in comparison. She was sure that these floors were clean enough to eat off at the end of the day, not that she’d ever test the theory. There were some vending machines to one side. He led her toward the front desk. A girl, what was her name? She was always there each time she had come with JJ. Today she was reading a book, her legs pulled up to her chest. Isabella recognized the cover for the book. It was one of her favorites. 

“Hi, Renee!” JJ called. 

“Good evening. Hey…do your parents know you’re bringing someone with you?” The girl’s eyes narrowed. 

“No, but if she comes with me I don’t think they’d care. It’s Isabella!” He grinned. 

“Yeah, no, I’m sorry. I’m being paid to make sure nobody goes back there except for you.” Renee frowned. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” JJ insisted. 

“Okay, if you want to get in trouble, that’s your business. But I’m not getting in trouble because you want to show your girlfriend you practice. You go tell get them and ask them. They’re waiting for you. I think they’re skating themselves actually,” Renee had a bored expression on her face. 

“Fine.” JJ let out an exasperated sigh. “Isabella, I’m sorry. Can you wait here for a minute?” 

Isabella nodded, offering a smile. He kissed her forehead before running down the long hallway. She leaned against the counter, a bit frustrated. If they said no, would she have to sit here and wait for him to done? She could take the metro home, but she’d need to borrow some money. She hadn’t thought to bring any. Her parents would likely not want to come pick her up after a long day at work. She couldn’t help wondering why JJ hadn’t asked in advance. She hadn’t known what they were going to be doing. He said it was a surprise and yet here she was. 

Her eyes danced over the rink, taking everything in. At the very least she could get some material to write about the rink and promote it. She needed to get back in the journalism mode. If she could get back in the habit of taking in every detail, she’d get back to her old self soon. Her eyes fell on a display case partially down the hall. Was that where they kept the medals? She never actually seen one in person. She’d love to see what they looked like. She started down the hall. 

“Hey, not so fast,” Renee called to her. 

Isabella turned around. The girl had her arms folded on the counter, her eyes narrowed in her direction. She shifted slightly. Something about being alone with this girl was uncomfortable. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but she got the feeling she didn’t like her. That’s all she needed. One more person who wanted to judge her. Isabella felt ready to scream. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. 

“I’m just going to the look at the display case over there.” Isabella held in the sigh begging to come out. 

“Sorry. This invisible line between the desk and wall is a Leroy entry only for the moment. I don’t make the rules.” Renee turned her attention back to her book. 

“That’s a good book, isn’t it?” Isabella asked walking back to the desk. “I read it last summer for an enrichment program I did. It was for literature and writing. It was really interesting. Have you read any others by the author? She’s amazing.” 

Renee lifted her eyes to Isabella, studying her for a moment. Isabella took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. JJ hadn’t come back yet. Maybe it was a sign his parents weren’t going to let her in. What was the big deal? She wasn’t going to do anything. It was JJ’s idea, not hers. 

“What do you want with JJ?” 

The question caught Isabella off guard. It was so unrelated, so sudden. “What?” 

“What do you want with JJ? You know he might be blinded by whatever he feels for you and his parents might be dumb enough to let him do what he wants, but I see through you. I will not let you hurt him.” Renee glared. 

“Hey I just wanted to interview him for my class, okay? I want to be a journalist. Seeing someone my own age who is going after their goals and dreams made me want to push myself to get to mine. He liked me. We got along. We had fun. He asked me to stay in touch. He was the one who wanted to start dating. I may have been a fan of his, but I’m not manipulative. He’s a big boy. He make his own decisions. Who are you?” 

Isabella matched Renee’s glare. What was that all about? She was sick of it. She didn’t have to be all nice to this girl like she did at school. She wouldn’t get in trouble with the school and her parents if she snapped at some girl who worked a rink. Frankly, she was tired of people acting hostile towards her for no reason. 

“I’m Renee Fayette. I work here. And I love that boy like a brother, okay? He wears his heart on his sleeve and I swear to god anyone who hurts him is going to have a problem.” 

“Good, then we don’t have a problem because I don’t plan on hurting him. Okay, sweetheart?” Isabella flashed a smile. 

Renee let out a small chuckle. “Good. So long as we’re clear.” Then went back to her book. 

Isabella let out a shuddering breath. Tears pressed in her eyes. It had felt so good to snap at this girl, but she felt like she was letting down her mother. She’d always taught her kindness. Isabella took a seat on one of the chairs while she waited, staring at her shoes. There had to be a line. There had to be something. Her mother was a successful attorney. She couldn’t be nice all the time, right? It was so hard to navigate. Lately had been the worst. It was easier when she was younger. There wasn’t the drama that she was faced with now. It was always just normal conflict. This was just…

“They said it was okay!” JJ’s voice interrupted the silence. 

“Whatever…” Renee sighed. “It’s on you.” 

JJ let out a laugh before turning to Isabella and waving her to follow him. Isabella jumped to her feet, happy to not have to spend one more second in the tense silence. He led her down the brightly lit corridor to the rink, talking a mile a minute as he did. Isabella couldn’t focus on what he was saying. Her head was too jumbled with frustration and the realization she wasn’t sure what to do. She’d always felt so grown up, so mature. Now she was feeling unbelievably like a child. 

They walked past the display case. Isabella slowed her pace, falling behind as she turned to look at it. How had she missed this before? She guessed she’d gotten a little caught up in the relationship with JJ from the start. It was amazing. There were medals and trophies displayed proudly and unapologetic in a beautiful arrangement. Frames with pictures of both young Nathalie and Alain accented the awards. Clippings from newspapers headlining there success. One headline read: ALAIN LEROY, NATHALIE DUBOIS LEAVE SINGLES; PAIR FOR ICE DANCING. There was a picture of the two next to each other, big smiles on their as cameras flashed. 

It was such a beautiful display of their success posted right in the middle of this hallway for people to see, but not in a place that was obvious. It was easy to miss. There weren’t any lights inside it like most of the display cases she’d seen in her life. It was proud, yet humble. It seemed to say, “Let us share proud moments from a beautiful time of our life.” Isabella wanted to read every article, see every medal. Memorize their moment. 

“It’s amazing, huh?” JJ asked, his arm slipping around her waist. 

“Yeah…” Isabella whispered. 

“You know, I’ve actually never seen anyone look at this. At least not since I was little. It’s kind of a shame because they were really good. I have to be good too, you know? It’s like…what will mine say?” He shrugged. 

“Do you have one?” Isabella asked. 

JJ laughed. “No. I don’t think I ever could. It would be embarrassing. Let’s go. My parents are waiting. We can come back to this okay?” 

Isabella nodded, thinking about what JJ had just said. If she had so many accomplishments, she’d want to share them with the world. She’d want a memento to remind herself of the best times. Nobody had looked at it? Had JJ? She could just imagine him as a little kid looking at everything and planning his life to match them. What was that like? She thought back to the interview she’d had with him. How he avoided some of the questions, changed the subject. _It’s more of an expectation_. But who’s expectation? That thought made her nervous. What if Nathalie and Alain were the ones with the expectation? What if they were more intense than she’d ever dreamed?

The cold air of the rink hit Isabella’s face, pulling her into reality. She heard voices talking across the empty room. She shivered slightly at the sudden drop in temperature. She hadn’t exactly dressed to be in a room that was kept below freezing. The ice reflected the overheard lights causing it to have a look of glowing, beckoning all to its frozen paradise. For once she finally understood why people like JJ and Cloe were so drawn to the ice. It really was a beautiful thing. 

She was led over the couple who were talking and laughing. Alain was dusting ice off in blades. Nathalie was sitting on the bench switching into her regular shoes. They looked so happy, so nice. Isabella’s heart raced nonetheless. She’d met Alain before in passing. She’d watched him coach JJ on the jumps. He’d had this look in his eyes that she hadn’t really thought about before. She was going to watch them now. And this time she was meeting them as their son’s girlfriend. Something about that was intimidating. 

“Maman, Papa, I would like you to meet my girlfriend, Isabella Yang. Bella, these are my parents.” JJ beamed, hugging her tight from behind. 

The two adults stared at her for a moment. Nathalie’s smiled seemed to be glued to her face. Alain’s face lit up after a moment into a grin. He held his arms out to greet her. JJ pulled away from her, joining his mother on the bench as he began to pull his skates on. Isabella awkwardly accepted the hug from Alain. She hadn’t expected to be so warmly received. 

“It’s good to meet you! JJ never stops talking about you. The kid is really happy and if JJ is happy, then it can’t be bad, eh?” Alain smiled letting out a chuckle. He swayed just a bit, catching himself. “I should probably change.” 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Isabella smiled. She turned to Nathalie who was tying her shoe laces now. 

“How are you doing, dear?” Nathalie asked, her voice sweet. “Just give me a minute to finish up.” 

“I’m doing well, thank you,” Isabella smiled. She tried to calm her heart that was still pounding in her chest. “How are you? It’s very nice to meet you both. Thank you so much for allowing me.” 

“I’m doing okay,” Nathalie replied as she got to her feet. Isabella started to hold her hand out. Nathalie shook her head, a half smile on her face. 

“In this family, we hug.” She smiled. 

Isabella smiled back, hugging the woman. Nathalie pulled away after a moment and went to talk with JJ. She shifted slightly, not really sure what to do now that the attention was off her. She felt awkward standing there while the family talked. She decided to turn her attention to the rink itself. Maybe she would write about this place after all. It didn’t seem nearly as fancy as the rinks Cloe had taken her and Sophia to throughout the years. It probably wasn’t booked for birthday parties the way the more upper ends ones were. The others she’d been to had a place for food and drinks. This one was more…quaint. You could tell it was family owned. The building was old, but well maintained. The ice was more beautiful than she’d ever seen, but she would expect nothing less from a family that loved it as much as the Leroys. 

She watched as JJ started his warm up. He was still wearing a light pullover she knew would come off once he’d warmed up. She made note to ask to wear it. She was starting to feel cold. Nathalie and Alain had her stand near them telling her the rules that she was not allowed to be on her phone, record, or take pictures during practice. She couldn’t post anything online about it. Just watch and be present. It was simple enough. Isabella understood, but at the same time felt they were being a bit paranoid. This close to the season, wouldn’t most of the skaters have already had a routine? Sure they could tweak it slightly for higher base scores, but could they really do much in the week before? Isabella really wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t going to ask. She didn’t plan on doing the things they had told her she wasn’t allowed to do anyway. She was excited to see JJ’s full practice. 

She watched as he skated, noting the smile on his face. He immediately looked like he was enjoying himself. She tried piecing together an article in her head like she used to do before when she was more focused. The words wouldn’t come. She frowned, resting her head in her hand as she watched. Maybe she was forcing it? That was probably it. She didn’t want to lose that talent she’d had for so long, that skill she’d spent years working on. 

“So Isabella, tell us about yourself.” Nathalie offered a smile. 

The woman seemed a little tense. Isabella couldn’t help but pick up on it. Maybe it was just that same feeling Isabella about meeting them? It wasn’t a typical relationship. Romantic relationships were more serious. She thought back to her own parents meeting JJ. They had seemed a bit on edge too. Isabella decided to push it away, try to ignore it. She returned the woman’s smile. 

“Well…” Isabella paused, thinking, how would she describe herself? “I’m sixteen. I go to Villa Maria High School. In grade ten. Um…I want to be a journalist. I’m already looking at CEGEP programs in literature. My dream is to get into Concordia!” 

“That’s really nice,” Nathalie smiled. “Do you know what kind of journalism you’d like to do?” 

“Not yet. I am trying out different styles. I write for the school newspaper at my school…or at least I used to. I got a little distracted from it, so I’m trying to get back into it. I’ve covered different things. Editorials, reviews, sports, culture, even did some things in politics. Politics wasn’t for me. I didn’t like it at all. Way too ridiculous. I think investigative journalism would be cool. You know just going around the world, going to the source? That’s would be really fun. But then again I also like entertainment journalism because you get to really convey the human side of entertainers, whether they’re musicians, actors, or comedians, or whatever. You also get to hype up their work and basically advertise for them. Push things out there. Sports journalism is fun too, especially if you’re really into it. So yeah, there are so many avenues to choose from. I’m still working on figuring it out.” Isabella shivered.

Nathalie and Alain nodded, their expressions friendly. They told her how admirable her goals were and gave her a few pointers on making her goals happen. Nathalie pushed her to get back into the newspaper telling her that while it may only seem like a school paper, it was in fact journalism. Alain nodded in agreement telling her she was already a journalist. Isabella nodded. She’d never thought of that before.

“You’re already very much in your dream career,” Alain noted. “You’re an amateur journalist who is doing the work for free, but you know you can put that on resumes as experience. How long have you been doing it?” 

“Um…” Isabella thought about it for a moment. “Like three years now?”

“Great! Keep at it! You know a lot of kids don’t realize that things you do in school or things you do for fun count as experience. And having it be actually published is huge! I think we’ll be seeing Isabella Yang in the news, eh, Nathalie?” Alain nudged his wife. 

“Oh definitely! Just keep at it. Don’t give up. Even when it’s hard,” she smiled. 

JJ appeared at the side, a smile spread across his face, cheeks pink from the warm up. He pulled the sweatshirt off, handing it to his mom. Isabella asked if she could wear it since she was cold. JJ let out a soft laugh, and kissed her cheek. 

“Of course!” He turned his attention to his parents. 

Isabella watched them as they talked to him. They wanted to see him do the jumps planned. She watched them intently. They were focused on their son. She could practically see them analyzing every move he made. JJ nailed each jump, seemingly flawless to Isabella, but each of his parents always had something to critique. JJ seemed to receive it well. Not once had the smile left his face. They moved on to the step sequence. Isabella couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle as Alain literally face palmed at one point. 

“It looks so sloppy…” He muttered to Nathalie. 

“I know, but you have to admit it’s still better than what we see in the others. We can have him work on that for the next week, I think?” Nathalie offered. 

Isabella stood silently, listening and watching. She’d never heard what coaches had to say during practice. Finally JJ was able to do the full program. Isabella held her breath in excitement. The music started and as per usual, JJ moved with the music rather than to it. His body seemed to be tangled with the music in this mesmerizing style. The jumps were seamless integrated into the overall performance. It was impossible to take eyes off him, yet his parents were still making little critiques between the two of them. She wondered if he ever got tired of the constant critiquing. He didn’t seem like he minded it. His smile never left, never faltered. His eyes were always dancing with excitement. 

When she’d first started writing for the newspaper in grade seven, Mr. Madeux would always tell her what she was doing wrong. It drove her crazy. It still did, but he didn’t get on her so much anymore. Her writing had gotten better. She had scrapped article after article because of that man, but she had gotten better. She shuddered to think where it would be now that she was so out of practice. Maybe that’s what it was like for JJ? 

The coaches had JJ go through the program a few more times from the top before having him work specifically on the step sequence. Alain kept calling to him to stop and start over, both of them sprinkling in pointers on how to make it better. She watched him work on it. His face was full of concentration. She couldn’t help notice how adorable he looked at one point where he actually stuck his tongue out in concentration, almost like a child. 

Alain had gone out on the ice now to help show JJ what to do leaving Isabella along with Nathalie. Isabella watched them for a moment. JJ stood, arms crossed while he watched his father show him what he was doing wrong, demonstrating. It was funny. She didn’t think they would still be able to do what they used to do, but here he was showing him a beautiful sequence. Isabella couldn’t help but smile. 

“Do you have any siblings?” Nathalie asked softly. 

“No ma’am. I’m an only child.” Isabella answered, one eye still watching the skaters. 

“Oh don’t call me ma’am! It makes me feel old.” Nathalie chuckled. “You can call me Nathalie.” 

“Oh…” Isabella swallowed. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. What do your parents do?” 

“Um…my mom’s an attorney and my dad’s a doctor. They work a lot. They’re both really driven and kind. I kind of wish they were home more? Which is really weird I guess for a teenager to say? But I don’t know, especially since meeting JJ, I just feel like it would be nice?” Isabella sighed. “But I don’t want to hurt their feelings?”

“Isabella, just tell them. Talk to them. I can promise you there is nothing a parent wants to hear more than their kid wants to spend time with them.” Nathalie put her arm around her. 

“Thank you. I’m just worried they’ll think I’m being ungrateful?” 

“Present it as more of I’d like to spend some more time with the two of you rather than I think you work too much. It’s all in the wording.” Nathalie told her. 

“Okay,” Isabella nodded. 

“What kind of things do you like to do?” Nathalie ventured. 

“I love to write. Any kind of writing. Listen to music. Dance. I think that’s partly why I like ice skating so much? It has all my favorite things. Music, dance and stories.” Isabella let out a laugh. “I like hiking. JJ and I have gone on a few trails. I really suck at sports, but I like to watch a few. I play flute. I’ve played it since I was little.” Isabella felt herself becoming more comfortable. 

“You know, Isabella, I have to apologize,” Nathalie sighed. “When JJ first told me about you, I was worried. I was scared. But you seem like a really nice girl. He assured me you were and Alain told me I was being too protective. Why don’t you come get pizza with us after practice? We’re picking up Olivier and Madeline from their practice and then we’re going to have pizza.” 

“I would like that,” Isabella smiled. “Wait…do you and Mr. Leroy not coach the other kids too?” 

Nathalie let out a soft laugh. “We do, but they also take ballet to help them with skating, and they also have another coach who really focuses more on the novice level. That was their choice. They don’t like Alain and me critiquing them so much. So they have an official coach, and we just kind of help out. We weren’t upset when they asked though. We didn’t plan to coach our kids. JJ just didn’t ever click with coaches, so we promised. It’s a hard job.” She turned her attention to Alain and JJ. “But we love it.”

Isabella watched the rest of the practice before Nathalie called to the guys it was time to wind down. They both exited the ice and changed out of their skates. JJ spent about ten minutes stretching as they got everything together. Alain and Nathalie left telling JJ where to meet them for pizza leaving the two alone. 

“So what did you think?” JJ asked with a smile as he took the sweatshirt Isabella was handing him. He pulled it on and took her hand. 

“I really liked it. You never cease to amaze me.” She laughed. 

“Were my parents nice to you?” He asked. 

“Yes! I have to admit…I was worried they wouldn’t like me.” Isabella tugged at her sleeves. 

“How could anyone not like you?” JJ laughed. “You’re perfect.”

“I’m far from perfect, JJ.” Isabella rolled her eyes. 

“Not to me,” he winked. “So….since you’ve met the parents and the siblings AND made it to an invitation to dinner, my parents throw this big party for me every year before the seasons starts. It’s just a lot of family. It’s kind of a good luck send off. This year Maddie and Oli are going to be honored too! I’m really excited for that. I was thinking, since I’ve met your whole family with a party, how about you join us?” JJ grinned at her. 

“That would be fun, but I’ll have to ask my parents and see if I have work to do for school.” Isabella frowned. 

“I hope you can come! It’s always a lot of fun! You’re going to love my uncle Rémi! He’s my dad’s older brother and I absolutely love him! And his husband is amazing too! Oh! You might have heard of him. His name is Xavier Richards. He won male singles figure skating golds like crazy and won the Olympics a couple times too! He was on the American National Team.” JJ flashed a smile. 

“What?” Isabella stopped walking. “What is your family, JJ? How do you have so much talent packed into one family?” 

JJ laughed and shrugged giving her a _beats me!_ They walked hand in hand out of the rink, and to the car. Her mind played over the events of the evening. She was still absolutely shocked that JJ’s parents were so nice. She really wanted to come up with something to write when she got home. She could talk about the rink? Maybe watch a movie and review it? She mentioned her idea of covering the Grand Prix series to JJ. He promised her he’d talk to everyone. If she could cover this…she would never doubt herself again. She leaned back in the seat while JJ drove to the restaurant. Alain and Nathalie had made her feel so important. Amateur journalist. She could get used to the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed this! And I really hope y'all don't mind OC's because I'm really excited to write them supporting our boy! Anyways thank you for reading. Please comment and I'll love you forever. xoxo


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaannnnd we're back on schedule! Yay! Again thank you to the amazing cicadaemon for being a beta. Love you! :)
> 
> Okay, so here goes. I hope y'all like Remi and Xavier (my OC's). I love them. 
> 
> If y'all are interested, check out The Tiniest Feet Make the Biggest Footprints. I'm probably going to put everything into series when I'm done, but they're similtaneous now. It's premie JJ and if you like Remi, he's pretty involved in that fic.

Sunday mornings usually meant sleeping in. Lazy days in pajamas spent reading or watching a movie. Isabella's parents were usually off work Sundays. Her mom would make breakfast and they would attempt to have a family day. It had always been just a bit frustrating to Isabella growing up. Her mother's phone would ring almost nonstop. Sometimes she'd be called in to work on a case. A similar story with her father. Weekends meant less doctors which meant more calls. 

This weekend was no different. Her father had rushed off after breakfast for the hospital. Her mother's boss had asked her to come in to help with a case. Isabella didn't mind it so much now that she was older. They would leave her alone with her homework and the TV asking her not to go out without calling them first. It always seemed like such a silly rule. How would they know if she left? Why would they care? It wasn't like they would notice. But still, she would call. 

She had meant to start writing for the newspaper last night, but had gotten caught up in the moment. So she found herself sitting at her desk, her knees pulled to her chest in a pair of leggings and a baggy hoodie, hair thrown up in a messy bun that her mother liked to joke about being her determined hairstyle. There was a mug of hot chocolate she had prepared herself and a plate with some vegetables for a snack next to her laptop. She stared at the screen at the blank document. Her fingers were hovering over the keys, occasionally tapping against them eliciting the slight click. Maybe if she did it enough her brain would start working. The cursor blinked on the blank screen, almost in a mocking manner. 

Isabella frowned. What should she write about? She couldn't write about JJ's practice, even though that was the story that kept coming to mind. She couldn't get it out of her head. The way the rink felt so welcoming and the ice seeming to call to everyone around it. She could do a piece on the rink, talk about how nice it felt. It didn't give off the vibe that the others in the city. It was older, warmer. Anyone who walked in could tell it was owned by a family who loved the ice and wanted to share it. There were free clinics taught by Alain and JJ every Saturday. How many people could say they were able to take lessons from one of the current best skaters in the world? Let alone a former Olympian?

She tilted her head to the side, stretching her neck and shoulder. She'd been sitting here for almost an hour without even so much as a word written. She sighed trying to figure out the best way to begin. She could just start, but she knew she would scrap everything. She wanted this piece to be her best. If she wanted to be anything close to a real journalist, she needed it to be perfect. The Leroy’s words from last night still played in her head. She could be considered an amateur journalist, but in order to use that title she needed to actually write.

The curtains were open, the blinds pulled back. She liked to have natural light in her room during the day. It helped her wake up easier, more gradually. Her mind would work much better with the sunlight shining than her overhead light. Outside the world seemed to be sleeping. The trees were bare, the grass dry in yellow for the winter. She couldn’t wait for them to wake up in the spring. Just looking outside felt cold. She didn’t want it to snow. It would just make everything worse.

Isabella sighed and turned her attention back to her laptop. What to write? What to write? She would write about the rink. It was the only thing she would be able to write she concluded. What played through her head on loop was the night prior. She started to write, including Renee sitting behind the counter with all her protective glory. She made sure to include the trophy case.

A few paragraphs in, she scrapped it all. She held her face in her hands whimpering. This was impossible. Everything was just so difficult. Her stomach knotted. She couldn’t possibly hand this in to Mr. Madeux. He would take one look at it and laugh. It would never be printed in the newspaper. Why would he take her back? She’d abandoned them all. She hadn’t even told anyone she was quitting journalism club. But was she really quitting?

She stood up to stretch her legs and think. It stopped with that article she wrote about interviewing JJ. Mr. Madeux really wasn’t impressed. He thought she’d be lying. Her parents had been so angry. Then her friends started acting like children. She had thrown herself into spending time with JJ to not think about everything that was going on. Now alone with her thoughts she felt so pathetic.

What happened to her? She used to be so determined, willing to deal with things and develop that thick skin. She needed that for journalism, especially as a woman. How many times had she seen a female journalist be dismissed? How many times had she seen them be talked over? How many times had she seen press conferences on television where the women were not taken seriously? It was too much. She had always wanted to be the type of journalist who could tell those people to shut up and listen because she was Isabella Yang and she had a job to do.

How had she gotten to the point where she was letting immature girls treat her like shit? How could she stop it? She could ignore it. She could confront them. She could talk to her mom or the guidance counselor. Someone would know how to deal with all of these. She hated feeling like a child. Adults had everything so figured out. When did that happen? Was it some kind of moment you have in which you realized you suddenly know what to do? Did it just come with age and experience? She hated being so young. Nobody took her seriously. She didn’t even take herself seriously these days. Why?

Suddenly an idea popped into her head. She scrambled for the laptop, logging into Facebook and finding the grade eleven girl, Emma, who was president from journalism club. She would know what kind of pieces were needed for the newspaper and give advice to her about which direction to go. The best part is the grade elevens were never paying much attention to the drama in the younger grades. They were too busy getting ready for graduation and CEGEP. That would be her next year. She couldn’t wait. The grade elevens always seemed so much more mature despite only being a year older. Maybe she could just make new friends.

Isabella jumped at the sound of the new message popping up. Emma was surprised Isabella was asking. She had figured she had lost interest, but Emma was happy to hear that it was not the case. The newspaper needed someone to take over the advice column if she was interested. She wasn’t sure she’d be good at it, but Isabella agreed telling her she would also like to do other articles as well. She asked if she could cover winter sports this year. Emma seemed happy to have someone volunteer. Nobody really wanted to take it and Emma had had to end up assigning it.

They talked for a while about things. Isabella had never really socialized outside her group. It was nice to have a meaningful conversation about journalism. Emma was also hoping to go to Concordia for journalism after she finished CEGEP. It was one of the best schools for journalism in Quebec. Even more than that, there were stories about strange things that happened; legends. Emma was interested in doing some investigating herself if she got in. Correction, when she got in. The older girl told Isabella to always speak positively and not passively either. If you wanted to do something don’t say if, say when.

The girls said goodbye to each other after about an hour. Emma was so glad Isabella was back stating she was one of the only girls that seemed to really love journalism as a passion and she looked forward to bringing passion back to their newspaper. She let Isabella know to talk to her anytime if she needed anything or if she just wanted a friend to listen. It was heartwarming after the hardships she’d been going through in terms of friends.

She closed Facebook and started on the advice column questions that Emma had sent to her in an email. It was almost too easy. Isabella researched as she went. Some of the questions seemed a bit silly, but Isabella used the best voice she could muster to answer them. She was getting back into this despite being so nervous. She was excited. The best part was with the advice column, they always sighed “MV” rather than the name of the person giving the advice. It was perfect. Nobody would know if she writing sounded awful. Nobody would care. There was something in the anonymity that was calming.

……………

Sunlight streamed into the window, dancing on JJ’s face. He groaned and pulled the blanket over his head. He hadn’t fallen asleep last night until…well he hadn’t gone to sleep last night actually. He’d stayed up, unable to sleep with excitement. His parents had announced last night when they got home that his father’s older brother Rémi and his husband, Xavier, were going to be coming to Montreal earlier than expected. The party was Friday right before the competition Saturday, but his uncles were coming early.

He hadn’t seen his them for a couple months. He missed his Uncle Rémi so much. He hadn’t even realized until he found out they were going to be coming in the morning. Sleep had finally taken him when the sky began to illuminate. He felt so exhausted, but he knew there was no going back. He glanced at his phone for the time. It was only nine in the morning. He was sure that they would be there. He quickly dressed before running down the stairs. He could already hear his uncle’s voice.

“Uncle Rémi!” JJ yelled as he walked into the kitchen to see his uncle sitting in his husband’s lap at the table, a latte in hand. He hugged him tightly, Rémi kissing JJ’s cheek. “Hi, Uncle Xavier.” JJ grinned at his other uncle. Xavier waved to him with a little smile.

“Good morning, honey!” Xavier greeted.

JJ greeted his parents with a hug and kiss for the morning too before he popped some bread into the toaster. His father was already scrambling some eggs for him. His mom handed him a plate with a few pieces of bacon. He listened to his mother talk to his uncles about the latest trip the two had gone on. Xavier was always taking Rémi on surprise trips around the world. Most recently they’d gone to Germany. He loved their stories. Alain took the plate from JJ’s hand and put the eggs on it. JJ thanked him before popping the toast onto his plate and sitting down, eager to talk to his favorite uncle.

“So JJ, my dear, tell me what’s new? Are you ready for competition to start?” Rémi beamed.

“Yes! I’m really nervous though. But I’ll get there!” JJ smiled.

“No, baby, you have to say you’re going to get gold,” Xavier corrected him. “I learned that early. You don’t say anything else. You put your eye on the prize and you get there. Ask your maman and papa. They did it too.”

“Right,” JJ nodded.

Xavier had won his fair share of medals and brought home two Olympic golds in his day. He knew his stuff. It was like everyone around him were these great skaters. Neither his parents nor his Uncle Xavier had ever made him feel pressured to do the same, but he felt it nonetheless. His parents alone had won so many. He wanted to win as many and beat them even. On the other hand, it really did put him at an advantage. People guiding him through who had been there on more than one occasion.

“I have a girlfriend,” JJ smiled.

“What!?” Rémi’s eyes widened. “Why have I not heard about this? Tell me everything, JJ. Spare no details.” Rémi smiled.

“Her name is Isabella. She’s really pretty! Probably the prettiest girl ever. And she’s so smart! She wants to go to Concordia and be a journalist! She makes me so happy. Her family is really fun too because like they do really big parties and have dance competitions! It’s so cool. She really likes figure skating, but she doesn’t know how to do it. It’s so cute because she’s learning!” JJ grinned as he shoveled the food in his mouth. He was always starving in the mornings before he took his medicine. It was like he could eat everything. 

“Are you sure she doesn’t know how to skate?” Xavier grabbed Rémi’s side making him jump.

“Stop! You’re gonna make me spill my coffee.” Rémi frowned.

“What? You’re scared to burn me?” Xavier squeezed him tight.

“Um, no. I’m afraid I’m going to spill my coffee. I paid six dollars for this. Sheesh, babe. Get with the program.” Rémi rolled his eyes.

JJ laughed as he took a sip of his orange juice. “No, she really doesn’t know how. She was always too scared. She doesn’t like pain when you fall, so I told her could fall on me!” JJ laughed again. 

“Okay, because this one here when he first started dating told me he didn’t know how to skate which I thought was crazy, right? Because his brother is this amazing figure skater and ice dancer and I mean how would he not know how to skate? So I’m wasting my time trying to help him learn because he’s so interested. Well I tell your dad that Rémi’s getting pretty good at skating. Alain looks me straight in the eye, confused and tells me this asshole played nine years of ice hockey!” Xavier shook his head as Rémi giggled.

“But we were so cute. And you were such a good teacher,” Rémi kissed him.

JJ smiled as his uncles had a moment. His Uncle Rémi was a really affectionate person. You knew if he liked you. There were hugs and kisses to go around. If he was with his husband, he was rarely not cuddled to him or sitting on his lap. JJ thought it was cute. He wondered why his parents were as affectionate. His uncles were really relationship goals for him. They were so in love and everyone knew it.

“So Nathalie, Alain, what is your excuse?” Rémi asked, pulling at the rubber band on his wrist absently. “Why didn’t you tell me my nephew has a girlfriend?”

JJ turned his attention to his mother. She shook her head at Rémi. JJ wanted to hear her talk about Isabella. She had been so nice to her and they seemed like they’d gotten along well last night. He’d asked her what she thought when he got home from taking Isabella home and she told him she was nice. He kept one eye on her as she ate.

“I admit that I was a bit worried at first,” Nathalie started. “She was one of his fans before they met, but she seems like a lovely girl. We talked a bit last night. She’s really driven and intelligent. More mature than most sixteen year olds I have met.”

“So you mean more mature than JJ?” Rémi joked.

“Rémi…” Xavier sighed.

“What? How many sixteen year olds has Nathalie met? I’m sorry. Go on, love,” Rémi grinned.

“I don’t much more to say. She’s a sweet girl and she makes JJ happy. I’m still a little nervous even though I didn’t notice anything concerning.” She sat down at the table with a cup of coffee.

“I don’t get why you’re so concerned, Nat. I mean I was a fan of Xavier’s before we started dating. Look at us! We’re fucking adorable, aren’t we?” Rémi squeezed Xavier to him.

“You’re why I’m worried.” Nathalie deadpanned.

Rémi gasped, putting a hand to his chest as he played up the scene. JJ laughed. His uncle could be a bit dramatic, but he was mostly pretending. Xavier shook his head, laughing too.

“I can see that.”

“What do you mean?” JJ asked, a bit confused. He had thought it was a joke, but Xavier was generally more serious than his husband.

“Well…honey…” Rémi reached across the table toward JJ. “I had a reputation.”

“It was not a reputation!” Alain rolled his eyes. “It was more of like…certain people knew.”

“Baby it was a reputation,” Xavier laughed. “All the male figure skaters who were into men knew that if Rémi Leroy was in the lobby and you wanted to hook up, the boy would be down. You looked at him wearing a team jacket and the guy would practically fall to his knees. You were thirsty as fuck, Rémi!”

“I kind of was,” Rémi laughed. He looked at JJ. “Sorry if that ruins anything for you, but I figure, you’re sixteen. You’re a big boy. You can handle knowing my past.”

“No, I’m actually not surprised,” JJ laughed.

“What the fuck?” Rémi gasped. “Do I just give off an air of slut?”

“No…” JJ grinned. “It’s just…you’re not someone who it would be so unbelievable, you know? I don’t know.”

“Right…”

Rémi picked at the black nail polish on his fingers. For as long as JJ could remember, his Uncle Rémi had always been into the alternative/punk scene. His father claimed Rémi had a phase where he tried to look like Justin Timberlake in the eighties, but it seemed so out of character for the man. He had one sleeve of tattoos one arm that JJ had always found to be really cool. When he was a little kid, he used to try to color them with crayons. Rémi would sit there patiently and let him. It never worked of course, but it didn’t stop JJ from trying. He was determined. He always wore eyeliner and occasionally more. He had his lip pierced, but rarely wore anything these days that JJ had seen. His style was always the same, never changing. Rémi was really cool. JJ loved him to death. They always had a lot of fun.

It was always so funny to JJ how different Rémi was from his husband. Xavier was a very stylish, high end person. He liked to wear nice clothes. He worked for a design company and often wore suits. It was always funny seeing them together. Xavier had a very serious demeanor about him. Of course had a good sense of humor, but the majority of the time he reminded JJ of a model. JJ had known him his entire life and rarely saw him act silly.

“JJ, you’re going to watch the game with me, right?” Rémi asked, standing up.

“The Canadiens are playing today?” JJ knit his eyebrows. “Isn’t Sunday a weird day?”

“Um…yes, our team is playing today...” Rémi glanced at Alain. “You better not be taking him away from me, Alain.”

Alain lifted his hands, “I’m not. You won. You can have my first born, but you’ll never take the others.”

Rémi laughed and put his arm around his brother. “I will once they’re old enough to realize they need to be real Canadians, honey.” He kissed Alain’s cheek. “JJ, I bought you a new jersey! We can match!”

“Yeah, okay!” JJ grinned.

Watching hockey with Uncle Rémi had been something he had done his whole life. One of his first memories was going to a Canadiens game just the two of them. He had been maybe three at the time. It had been so exciting. Rémi had held him the whole time. It always worked out that they were both very cuddly. It never got old. He loved that Rémi lived in Montreal too even if it was the other side of town. They watched the big games together no matter what.

…………….

“Merde alors!” Rémi shouted, throwing his hands in the air and laying back glaring at the television. “It was open! How could you miss that?”

JJ laughed softly to himself. Rémi always got really into the games. He’d shout and cheer and everything in between. It had always been entertaining. Once JJ had copied something Rémi had shouted during a game and his mother and Rémi had died at the curses falling from his three year old mouth while his dad had complained about why he didn’t want JJ watching hockey with Rémi.

“Why are you laughing, JJ? The other team scored a point. I swear to god…” Rémi muttered as he took a drink.

“You’re just really into it, is all,” JJ shrugged.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Rémi put his arms around JJ and pulled him to him. JJ happily curled up next to his uncle.

JJ thought about how amazing it would be to have Isabella get to meet his uncles. He loved them so much and he couldn’t imagine starting a season without them there. Rémi was that spirit that gave him motivation while Xavier gave him pointers. While his parents were great at their job of coaching and parenting, there was something special about his uncles. Rémi encouraged him in the most unconditional way. He was the only person JJ never felt he needed to prove himself to. He felt badly about it. His parents were never pushy. Xavier was never overly critical. His extended family never was hard on him, but he still felt it.

His performance directly reflected his parents’ coaching and careers. They had a long career in the skating world. People in Canada, especially in Montreal still knew who they were. He still watched people stop his parents for autographs and pictures. He was constantly asked about them in interviews and by fans. Even other skaters would sometimes ask about them. He felt like he was in their shadow in a way. That everyone expected him to be just like them. If he fell short…the thought was terrifying.

With Xavier, he felt like he was telling him what to do without ever seeing what he was capable of. It was like at breakfast when he had told him to pick the prize. JJ knew he hadn’t meant anything by it other than to get him focused, but still it felt off. JJ didn’t want to be seen as arrogant. He wanted to have fun number one. Of course he wanted to win, but he had to have fun doing it. He had promised himself when he first started skating that if it ever stopped being fun, he was going to quit. Part of him felt like his uncle wouldn’t appreciate that. He felt like he’d be judged. And who was JJ to question Xavier? He was a gold medalist.

The family on both sides didn’t hold JJ in a good standing. He knew that. He didn’t care how many times his parents assured him he was loved by the whole family, he didn’t feel it. Too many time he’d heard them talk about how he was spoiled or that he needed to calm down. They would mock his illness and disabilities and throw it in his face in the most subtle of ways. He wanted to prove them wrong. Show them he could be the best figure skater in the world. Show them that it didn’t matter that he was a little delayed in his early years because he was far past his peers. Show them that he could focus. There was so much pressure from them.

Even his younger siblings he felt pressure from. They looked up to him. They thought he was so cool. He already felt like he was letting them down by not having any friends. He could never bring himself to tell them the truth and it was terrifying how any day now they’d wake up and realize nobody liked him.

And the fans…god those were honestly worst. They supported him. They bought the tickets and the merchandise and followed his performances. Some even flew from Canada to where ever he was competing. They put so much stock in him. He couldn’t let them down. It was scary.

But his uncle Rémi, he felt none of that. Rémi would be fine with him just watching hockey every night on the couch with him. He would be okay with him failing every competition miserably. He would still cheer him on. He wanted him to have fun. And that’s all he’s ever wanted. Rémi had always been that constant person in his life who would show him nothing but approval. If he was happy and having fun, Rémi supported him. If he were tell everyone in his life he wanted to stop skating, he knew for a one hundred percent fact that Rémi would be the only one who wouldn’t be shocked or try to talk him out of his or ask why or be disappointed. Rémi would just be like “Okay, cool, what’s next?” He loved his uncle so much. He could be himself fully, nothing barred, and be accepted. Rémi never got frustrated or annoyed with him. It was nice. So he would cuddle on the couch and watch the Montreal Canadiens kick ass with his uncle Rémi for the rest of his life.

“JJ?” His father interrupted. “Your costume is in and ready if you want to try it on.”

“Move! Move! Osti de tabarnak, you’re blocking the game!” Rémi shouted.

“Oh, sorry,” Alain laughed moving to the side. “Do you want to see it?”

“Maybe after the game?” JJ asked, hugging himself a little.

He didn’t want to make his father upset. He hated how there was always that little part of his father who looked just a little hurt when JJ would do things with Rémi. He knew his dad didn’t like hockey. He hated it actually. JJ had heard the stories. Rémi was in hockey since his dad was born. Played it for nine years. His grandparents refused to give him skating lessons, suggesting that he do hockey instead. He associated the game with sitting in a loud rink on a hard, cold bench with his parents completely ignoring him. He would fight his brother and parents to watch ice skating when they wanted to watch hockey. It made JJ sad his dad had such a bad experience. It was a really fun sport to watch. JJ loved it almost as much as figure skating. He wished he could share it with his dad too.

“Oh…yeah, I guess…” Alain sighed. He glanced at the TV behind him. “It looks really nice though.”

“Do you want to watch the game with us?” JJ asked, sitting up and pulling away from his uncle. He patted the seat next to him.

“No,” Alain made a face.

“Oh my god, get the fuck out of here, Alain. The real Canadians are trying to watch the game. Leave us until you realize you’re one of us.” Rémi joked with his brother.

“You know JJ likes skating more than hockey, right?” Alain smirked.

“Get out of here with that gay shit,” Rémi shooed Alain out of the room.

“You’re that gay shit…” Alain muttered.

“Oh honey, you better not ever forget it!” Rémi wink. “Love you!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Alain laughed walking out of the room.

Rémi returned the couch, pulling the bowl of snacks onto his stomach as he went back to watching the game. JJ sat next to him, bonding and enjoying the game. Rémi would get so excited with each fight. It was always amusing. JJ wished he could get as into it his uncle. That they could jump up and hug each score, but his mind would always wander or he’d be distracted. Rémi’s cheering or the sounds from the TV would bring him back.

Once the game was finished, JJ found his dad in the kitchen with Xavier talking about skating and the season. JJ joined them. His father pushed the package toward him. JJ was suddenly so excited for his costume. He ran out of the room to try it on. He grinned at how perfect he fit. It was so nice. He admired the way he looked in it. This season was going to be the best yet. He could feel it in his heart. He couldn’t wait for the party.  
…………….

Isabella’s heart raced Monday morning as she walked into school. If anyone had said or done anything, she hadn’t noticed. She was ready to hand in her column and article. The talk with Emma had been very beneficial. She had worked through the questions given to her and slowly felt the confidence build. By Sunday night she had gone through four rough drafts and a final article highlighting Ice World in all its glory. She hoped Mr. Madeux would give her the same praise he had in the past. Her stomach twisted at the thought. She’d gone from beautiful reviews by her teacher and club advisor about her work to just getting by and little “see me” notes that she never listened to.

The educator was sitting at his desk, his round, too big for his face glasses pushed up against his forehead as he graded papers. His light brown curls fell into his face. He looked so much younger than Isabella had remembered. She wondered if that was why so many of the girls in the school would giggle about him. Wasn’t he older? Like in his forties? Yet here he was in front of Isabella reminding her more of a grad student than a full-fledged educator and something about his younger appearance put her at ease. She took a deep breath before knocking on the door. The man looked up and his face softened with a smile when he saw her.

“Isabella, good morning.” He folded his hands over his desk.

“I have something for the newspaper,” she started. “I asked Emma about what was needed and she said the advice column wasn’t filled so I wanted to turn it in and I have this.”

Isabella handed over the documents. He took them and began reading them. She hugged herself, standing nervously as he read her work. Her heart was racing. It was probably awful. He was going to tell her it was garbage. She just knew it. She tried to distract herself. There were posters on the wall with silly puns that were definitely groan worthy, but still humorous. Isabella did have a healthy appetite for good puns though she would never say so.

She wondered what her teacher had wanted to do with his life. Had he once wanted to be a journalist? He taught English, literature, composition, and the journalism electives. He was advisor of the journalism, photography, film, and yearbook clubs. In addition, he was the editor for the school newspaper. She thought about the way the talks in class and the clubs. He seems so passionate. Was teaching what he wanted? Or was it the plan after journalism fell through. She didn’t want to make that mistake. She wanted to be a journalist. She wanted to be documenting history. She wouldn’t be a classroom so young teaching kids who didn’t care. She was going to make Mr. Madeux’s existence mean something. She had to.

“Wow…” Mr. Madeux glanced up at her. “This…this is good.”

“Thank you,” Isabella tugged on her sleeve. She didn’t believe it.

“While I have you, I want to talk to you about something. Have you been doing okay? Your work has been really suffering.” And there it was. The truth she knew to be real. Don’t hold back she wanted to say. “You haven’t been as engaged in class. I don’t see you in clubs anymore. I’ve been noticing you becoming more withdrawn. That’s why I’ve been putting those notes on your papers. I wanted to talk to you before I talked to your parents or the counselor. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Isabella tensed. Shit. She had been too obvious. She didn’t want her parents to get a call from him telling them she wasn’t engaged. She didn’t want them to know about what was going on. She could deal with it herself. Everything would be fine. They didn’t need to be bothered by this. They would just get worried and she wasn’t okay with that. Her parents worked so hard. And what if they judged her for continuing a relationship with JJ despite what it was doing to her in terms of her friends. But they didn’t understand, wouldn’t understand. She could handle it. She didn’t want to be friends with those girls anyway. They were children.

“Everything’s fine,” Isabella smiled.

“Are you sure? You can talk to me. I want you to know that this is a safe place. If something is going on at home or school or something, you can tell me. You can talk to the counselor. We’re here for you, okay?” Mr. Madeux offered her a smile. “We won’t judge you.”

“Everything is fine.” She repeated trying to keep her smile.

His eyes were glued to her for just a moment. She could see him thinking, trying to figure it out. He was inspecting her, trying to read her. She knew he was a writer. He talked about it in class. How he loved to write. Writers were observers. She knew this because she was a writer. Writers could see through people. They could pick up on subtleties that most would overlook. She had to trick him. He sighed softly, giving up.

“This is good work, Isabella. I’m glad to see you back.”

“Good to be back, Mr. Madeux. Thank you.” Isabella thanked him quickly before rushing out of the classroom before he could ask any more questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope y'all liked it. xoxo


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is so late. My work schedule has been insane and my mind was all over. I'll try not to let it happen again.

Isabella nervously walked down the street from the metro station. It felt strange to not have JJ pick her up for something they were doing together as it had become almost a habit. She couldn't think of a single time he hadn't offered, but with all his relatives in town she guessed he probably couldn't get away, though he had said that he'd find a way dip out if he needed to. She didn't mind public transportation. It was how she usually got around the city until very recently. There was something familiar about it, and she was able to people watch more which got her mind working. The smell of the metro was still lingering in her nose as she walked up the driveway to the house.

She stared at it for a minute, checking the address on her phone. The house was large, but rather average and much more modest than she would have expected for Outremont. Nothing particularly stood out. It seemed normal enough. She had expected more honestly, though she wasn't sure as to why. No, she did know why. The Leroys were famous, especially in Montreal. Alain and Nathalie were top skaters in the world by the time they hit their twenties and together they'd risen to the top faster than most. She knew that top skaters made a healthy income, and JJ was on his way up too. It had never crossed her mind when she'd been with JJ that he didn't seem wealthy; he was a sixteen year old boy, but she'd always imagined his parents to have wealthy still. And the coaching costs were nothing to scoff about.

The address on her phone matched the address on the house, so she pocketed her phone, taking a breath and walked up the path to the door, ringing the doorbell. She could hear a myriad of voices coming from the other side of the door. She wondered what it would be like to meet his entire family. She liked his parents and siblings well enough, but part of her was still nervous about the extended family. There was always a different dynamic when you got past the people one lived with, and she knew from experience with Cloe and Sophia’s family that there could be drama that was only mentioned in family gatherings.

When the door opened, she was almost certain she had the wrong house. Standing before her was a man who seemed to be a bit underdressed for a party in jeans and a Green Day tee shirt and black jacket. She almost turned around, excusing herself for getting the wrong house. Maybe she should call JJ to meet her outside so she wouldn’t run into another awkward situation of getting the wrong house, but the man spoke before she could.

"Can I help you?" He was frowning now. Had she been staring? Shit.

"Um...I'm here for JJ's party. I'm Isabella...his girlfriend," she smiled up at the man who nodded, his face breaking into a grin.

"Welcome to the party! I'm Rémi, JJ's uncle. Come in, come in!" He led her through the maze of people and showed her to an area where a few tables were lined up against the wall piled with food and drinks on one end. "Help yourself to the snacks. I'll go find my nephew. Stay here!"

Isabella nodded and watched him wander off. Her eyes wandered over the people around her. So these were the people in JJ’s life who’d shaped him into the kind, amazing person she knew and loved. Nobody was looking her way as they talk amongst each other. She didn’t see any of the Leroys she knew. What if she had found the wrong house and there was another party going on? No, she told herself, you’re being ridiculous. Still, she felt an uneasiness.

She jumped as JJ appeared next to her, eyes sparkling and his usual excited smile plastered on his face. He hugged her as he started talking a mile a minute. He smelled nice. It was different. He usually didn't smell like much of anything really but there was a distinct scent of cologne about him.

"You're wearing cologne?" She observed.

"Yeah! My Uncle Rémi got it for me. He and my Uncle Xavier, his husband, go on vacations a lot all over the world and he brought it back with him for me from France! Do you like it?” He leaned towards her again.

“It smells nice, yes,” Isabella laughed. “Okay, full disclosure, I was worried I had the wrong house and was crashing a random party.”

JJ laughed, pulling her into a hug and gestured to the banner above the food wishing luck with the season for JJ, Oli, and Maddie. “I guess you missed this.”

“Yeah…”

JJ laughed again and kissed her cheek, inviting her to the assorted snacks. Isabella gladly partook in feast, her stomach had started rumbling on the train. Apparently there was going to be a nice main dinner later on courtesy of one of JJ's relatives, but for now snacks were good. The chex mix was perfection.

She was led around the room by JJ as he introduced her to one person after the next. She got the feeling that his grandparents and aunt on his mother's side were less than thrilled to meet her by the way their smiles seemed to be forced and there was little in the way of attempted conversation. The five of them had each found a reason to sneak away leaving Isabella worried, but JJ didn't seem to be fussed in least. Perhaps they were just not good at conversation? She got that, finding things to talk about could be difficult.

There were some cousins she met, one was about their age and two were a little older. Isabella loved his cousin, Emma, who was born just a few months after him. She was an aspiring artist and photographer. Isabella was able to have a full conversation with her about the topic. She'd thought about photography in conjunction with reporting journalism and found the conversation to be very informative.

She found herself on the couch talking to Olivier while she braided Maddie's hair into pigtails. The siblings were excited to finally be able to compete. They told her all about their program and how much fun it was. Oli insisted that his program was the best out of anyone's in the history of skating.

"It's even better than JJ's when he was ten!" he had proudly boasted with a sweet grin.

"Is that so?" He nodded. "Well I would love to see it!"

"Isabella! Bella! Bella!" JJ was suddenly bouncing next to her. She turned to him with a laugh.

"What is it?" It was the cutest thing seeing the three Leroy kids beyond excited for the season. She hadn't stopped smiling in forever. Her cheeks were starting to burn from the constant flexion.

"Do you want to meet Xavier?" Isabella was confused. Who was he talking about? "My uncle. Uncle Rémi's husband. The one I told you about used to be a figure skater on the American team and won tons of golds?"

Isabella nodded, excusing herself from the twins. JJ led her outside to the small patio for the backyard where he was sitting with JJ's parents and Rémi who was wearing a very annoyed expression, a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. It was strange for her to see a former athlete smoking. Not many people she knew did. Having a physician as a father, Isabella had been given nightmares about the dangers. She found herself still thinking about it when Xavier switched to hold both in one hand, extending his hand to her with a smile.

"Hey honey, how are you doing? Are you getting enough to eat? Alain, I told you there wasn't enough," Xavier frowned.

"There's plenty," Alain promised.

"Yes, thank you. I did," she answered Xavier before turning to the Leroys. "It's all very nice. Thank you so much for having me."

"It's a pleasure," Nathalie smiled giving her a hug.

Isabella waited a moment expecting JJ to retreat inside, pulling her behind him to meet the next person like he had been all day, only to find him sit down next to Rémi, his eyes still glued to her. She was quiet for a moment while the adults talked on. JJ and Rémi were having a conversation now. It was slightly uncomfortable. She didn't exactly know anyone here except JJ and the twins.

She was about to turn away to sneak back into the warmth of the house when an idea struck her. Since JJ had promised her interviews at the competition, she was sure she'd have the best coverage of winter sports. Here she was with three former skating champions, people who were warm and kind. Everyone knew the Leroys, but did anyone here know Xavier Rogers? They should. She felt ashamed for not remembering it when JJ had asked.

"Excuse me?" Isabella interjected. All five sets of eyes were on her. "Would the three of you be willing to be interviewed for my school newspaper? Kind of a then and now piece? I'm covering winter sports." There was a moment of silence.

"I have not been asked that in, what?" Xavier turned to Rémi. "Fourteen? Fifteen years?"

"You retired fourteen years ago, babe," Rémi winked.

"Right, I haven't been asked that in fourteen years. I never realized how much I missed it until now. I'd be honored."

Isabella's heart leaped for joy. She turned to Alain and Nathalie who both agreed. Her heart swelled in her chest. Yes, she was definitely going to have the best winter sports section Villa Maria had ever seen.  
………….  
The air was filled with excitement as skating fans piled into the rink seats. JJ couldn't help but feel excited too. He felt more bouncy today, the need to move about multiplied by the feeling surrounding him. He bounced on his heels as he waited in line with his parents to check in. His senses were flooding his mind with all the feedback he was getting. There was the buzz of conversation all around him; the smell of the coffee and snack carts nearby, the scent of the food making his stomach growl. People were running every direction, calling to their friends. He knew it would get overstimulating at some point, but right now it was perfect.

His parents checked in as coaches and checked him in as the participant while he was distracted by everything going around. He couldn't wait to get to the back where the skaters warmed up and could watch the others perform. Last year he had to deal with hazing, but this year as his second competition season in the senior division, he wouldn't face that anymore. He could make friends and talk to everyone. He was most excited about that. They all probably loved ice skating as much as him and he could talk to them about it more than he could with others. He wondered if any of them had been to Montreal before. Maybe they'd want him to show them around. He could take them to the best places and navigate the metro for them. His heart leapt at the thought of leaving this year with friends and medals. It was going to be perfect.

He took his badge from his parents, buzzing with energy. They had something to eat while talking about the day and the schedule. He could barely pay attention. If he could just go...

"JJ, did you hear me?" his mom put her hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I know. Meet up for practice and make sure to warm up. Yeah." He smiled and glanced around. "Can I go find the others now?" He asked, jumping up, his eyes searching for anyone who looked familiar.

"I guess so, but remember to find us later, okay?" Nathalie smiled, still sipping her coffee.

"Okay, love you, bye!" JJ hugged his parents, almost running to find the others.

The back section of the rink wasn't much, but JJ loved it. Most of the news teams hadn't arrived yet and those that did hadn't fully set up or been given access, so there was a calm air. His eyes ran over the area before him. Televisions were mounted to the walls, blank screens staring back at them. Once the competition was closer to starting they would be able to watch their competition from the warmer area and away from the crowds that almost certainly impacted their emotions.

He spotted a group of skaters talking a few feet ahead of him. His heart swelled in his chest at the opportunity. He strode over to them, a smile planted on his face. As he got closer he could hear them talking. He was still the youngest of group and the newest to the senior division. He recognized a few of them as skaters he had competed with in the past, Phichit Chulanont and Christophe Giacometti.

"Hi, guys!" JJ greeted them. A few skaters jumped, glancing at him. "I'm JJ Leroy! I've met you two before. How are you doing? Are you guys ready?"

"Oh...hi, JJ..." Phichit smiled, pulling out his phone and fiddling with it.

"JJ, you're new, aren't you?" Chris crossed his arms, a kind smile on his face.

"Not really. I'm in my second year of the senior division, and I've been competing ever since I was old enough to, and I've been skating since I was three. So you guys better watch out, because I've got a lot of experience!" JJ shoved his hands in his pockets as he rocked back on his heels.

"Right," Chris glanced at Phichit. "Well I do look forward to our competition. Let me introduce you to everyone."

"Oh I know everyone! I know everything about skating. I really love it. I research it a lot and don't ever miss a competition, and I've watched everyone's previous programs and looked everyone up!" JJ listed off each of their names and placements of the previous year.

"But you've not been formally introduced," Chris smiled, putting a hand on JJ's shoulder.

"Oh...right," JJ nodded, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Chris introduced him to the group of skaters. Once the introductions were finished, JJ started talking to them again about the competition, making friendly jokes as he went along. It was nice to be able to interact and tell them all about everything he'd learned, how good his program was and much more. The others weren't really saying a whole lot, so JJ felt the need to fill the silence.

"Oh, Viktor, come meet the new kid!" Chris interrupted JJ, waving the older man over.

For just a moment JJ felt his breath catch in his throat. Sure, they'd skated against each other last year, but JJ had never talked to Viktor or really actually seen him off the ice. He was going to become friends with him and get to meet him for the first time. Just the thought of talking to him about their programs was enough to get JJ's heart racing. He was...nervous? He blinked for a moment before plastering the smile right back on his face as Viktor appeared next to Chris, his friend putting his arm around the man.

"This is JJ Leroy. It's his second year," Chris almost seemed to purr. "JJ, this is-"

"Viktor Nikiforov!" JJ finished. "It's good to meet you. I'll see you on the podium! Hope you brought your A game because I'm gonna put up a fight!"

Viktor didn't say a word, so JJ decided it was best to keep going. The man raised his eyebrows, glanced at Chris, before laughing softly and walking away. JJ's words were suddenly gone. He'd seen that look before, heard that laugh, left standing alone. His heart sank. JJ licked his lips for a moment, unsure what to do next as the skaters disappeared one by one.

"Sorry, Viktor's really a nice guy, he's just got a lot going on in his head is all. I'll catch up to you later, okay?" Chris frowned.

"O...kay," JJ swallowed. Chris started to walk away. JJ felt the familiar pressure rise up his body from his stomach to his eyes, the small prick of tears. He blinked. "I could show you around Montreal later if you're interested." It was his last chance.

Chris stopped, turned his head to look at him and smiled. "That's really sweet, but I've been here several times and Viktor and I have plans or I would."

"Oh, right..." JJ inhaled. "Good luck..."

"Thanks, you too!" Chris smiled before walking away.

JJ watched him go. He was alone once more. He didn't know why it hurt so much. he should be used to it by now; after all it was no different from the interactions he'd had since he was little. Nobody wanted to play with him, nobody wanted to be friends. Maybe he had gotten too used to Isabella being so accepting of him. Why did she even like him? He was such a loser. He chewed his cheek for a moment trying to pull himself together. He didn't want to run away, he wanted to stay here and show them that he didn't need them. He was Jean-Jacques Leroy and he was going to win. If only he had the confidence to back it up...

He decided to go find a place to stretch and warm up. Hopefully Isabella would be at the rink by now and he could hang out with her. Sure he could go sit with his parents or find his siblings who'd decided to come with their coach and rink mates. Olivier and Madeline were probably making friends. He would only ruin their time. And he didn't really want his parents knowing that once again he'd failed at making a single friend. He didn't want to see that look on their faces they always got when they found out that once again JJ had been denied.

"I'm serious, Viktor, you don't need to be like that," JJ overheard Chris saying from where he and Viktor were stretching.

"I'm not being like anything?" Viktor replied.

"You're being mean to the new kid. He's just trying to make friends. Sure, he's not very good at social skills, but can you blame him?" Chris continued.

"Look, I'm not being mean. I just don't have time to pretend to think it's cute when some unimpressive skater wants to talk big. I've got too much on my mind. I'm not fake. You know that. And I'm not mean. I just..." Viktor dropped off.

That was enough. JJ ducked into the bathroom and locked himself away from everything. He needed to pull himself together, stop worrying about it, but it hurt. Maybe he was wrong? Maybe the hazing hadn’t finished just because he was a second year? Maybe they were just trying to stay away from him because they were competitors. Yeah, that could be it. After they’d finished things would be different. The others had clearly known each other for a while. He took a few breaths trying to orient himself, focusing on his breathing, the smell of the air freshener, the way the cold stall felt as he leaned against it, the soft murmur of the voices outside the bathroom. It was something his therapist had worked with him to calm himself. He didn’t always remember it, but he was so glad he did now. He had a competition to win.

……………

Isabella found her seat with her cousins in tow. Her heart was racing with excitement as she looked around the rink. The ice was being buffed to perfection after what she assumed was practice. She hugged her jacket around her tight and glanced at her cousins who were talking to each other about something that happened at school. How could they talk about school when they were about to watch some of the greatest skaters in the world skate. Sure, they weren’t big into figure skating and were only coming along because she begged them to, but still they could look more alive.

She wondered where JJ was. The party with his family had been a lot of fun. His siblings were as darling as ever and she couldn’t wait to hear about how well they did. She hoped they had fun. She was excited to see JJ do what he loved. Her heart was set on after though. JJ promised he’d talk to the others and get her those interviews. Just the thought of being able to turn something in so professional put a giant grin on her face. She could put it on her resume. It would be one step closer to Concordia, one step closer to her dream.

Her phone buzzed breaking her thoughts. JJ had texted her to meet him in the lobby. She excused herself, telling her cousins where she was going if they wanted to join her. They both wanted to stay in the stands to talk. Apparently they didn’t want to interrupt her time with her boyfriend, or so they said. Knowing them, they just didn’t want to be dragged around all day. She shrugged and walked out to the lobby to find him, her eyes searching the crowd, eventually spotting him leaning against the wall.

“Hey!” She greeted him with a hug.

“Hi!” JJ smiled. “I’m really happy to see you. How are you doing? Did you find your seats?”

“I’m good. I did find my seat, thank you. How are you?”

“I don’t know if I can get the interviews for you. I’m sorry.” JJ took a shuddering breath, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh….” Her heart sank, but she tried not to show it. It was a long shot to think that anyone would agree to it. There were so many actual journalists who were talking to them at a major competition. Why would they want to waste the time talking to a girl with a dream they didn’t know? It wasn’t a big deal, really, she tried to tell herself. “That’s okay! Don’t worry about it!”

“I’ll still try, but I don’t know if I can? I shouldn’t have told you I could, but I really wanted to do this one thing for you. You deserve it. You’re so smart and passionate. You’re going to be the best journalist in the world, I know it.” JJ played his sleeve.

“It’s okay! I promise. Don’t worry about it. How are you? You didn’t answer before.” Isabella took his hand, leading over to a bench.

“I’m okay! Perfect, even!” He beamed. “Do you want to get hot chocolate? I can get you some if you want.”

Isabella watched him as he squirmed. The smile on his face wasn’t reaching his eyes, which were flying around the room, focusing on nothing as they moved. He was pulling at his sleeve and adjusting his clothes every few minutes. He was unmistakably nervous. She pulled him into a hug, wanting to melt away every bad feeling. It wasn’t the same thing, but she’d experienced nerves before projects and presentations. It was awful, and knowing about what he dealt with she couldn’t imagine.

“Yeah, let’s go get hot chocolate.” Isabella smiled.

...............

JJ couldn't stop smiling. He'd done it, he'd actually done it. He'd made third place for the day and he was determined to only move up tomorrow. He hugged the plush toy that one of the fans had tossed him close to his chest as he scanned the area, a smile plastered to his face. Most of the interviews had concluded leaving the skaters to wind down for the day to rest before tomorrow's free skate. Victor had called him and unimpressive skater earlier today, well what about now?

He spotted Chris walking away from one of the camera crews, a pleasant smile dancing on his lips. If anyone would agree to let Isabella interview them, Chris would be the best shot. JJ made a beeline toward him, planting a friendly smile on his face as he called to him. The older man stopped and turned around, waving slightly at the boy. He waited for a moment for JJ to catch up to him before speaking.

"Not bad, JJ," Chris greeted.

"Good job today!" JJ smiled. "Watch out tomorrow! I plan to get even better."

"Good luck," Chris' eyes sparkled at the well wishes.

"Thanks!" JJ beamed.

"Well I'm going to go find Victor. He sometimes gets grumpy when he's tired and doesn't like to wait. I'll see you tomorrow?" Chris shifted his weight, glancing around the area.

"Um...I actually have a favor to ask of you....if it's not too much?" Chris paused, so JJ took the opportunity. "My girlfriend really wants to be a journalist and she's covering winter sports for her school newspaper, and I kind of promised her that I'd ask if she could interview some people, but I don't know who to ask. She's really smart and amazing and professional, and I love her and want her to be happy. Please can she interview you? She's perfect. Her name is Isabella Yang and she's really passionate about journalism and winter sports. Please? I just want to make her smile and be happy. Please?"

"That's really cute," Chris grinned. "How long have you two been together?"

"Since September! Almost two months! I met her because I let her interview me because she's so great, and I just really love her, and-"

"Sure," Chris shrugged stopping JJ in the middle of his sentence.

"What?" JJ breathed.

"Sure. I am always up to help someone reach their dreams. You go get her and I'll try to round some people up, okay?" Chris patted JJ on the shoulder.

JJ couldn't believe it. He was sure that he was going to be shut down, and he'd be the worst boyfriend. Isabella deserved better, she deserved the world. He had done this for her, he'd gotten her the interviews. He and Chris agreed on where to meet up in twenty minutes before JJ ran off to find Isabella.

...............

The smile hadn't left Isabella's face since the competition had started. It was more than she'd ever imagined. She'd watched them before on television and on live streams online, but they dulled in comparison to watching it up close and personal. There was a sense of connection that one just didn't get watching from behind a screen. The emotions of the crowd really had washed over her and she'd been taken on an emotional rollercoaster.

She and her cousins were chattering away about the performance. They had been just as blown away by the whole thing as she was. She promised that she'd show them even more where that came from promising them quality streaming time once they'd reached home. The three of them would be spending the night at Isabella's house later that night, which would include snacks and watching videos before they came back tomorrow to watch the second part. 

"Isabella! Isabella, I'm so glad I found you!" JJ grabbed her in a tight hug before pulling away. "You have to come with me. Now."

"What?" Isabella was confused. She glanced at her cousins were looking at JJ like he'd lost his mind. 

"The interviews. I got you the interviews, well at least Christophe Giacometti. He's a skater from Switzerland. He's the one who's in second today. He's really nice. He said he's gonna try to talk others into it, but you have to come with me now because he has plans with Victor and apparent he gets grumpy when he's tired or something, but I don't know how you could be tired after you got first place. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight, I'm so excited." JJ's words ran together as he went on in true to himself fashion. 

"Whoa, wait, what?" Isabella couldn't have heard him right. She could interview another skater? Tears were pricking in her eyes from happiness. 

"You can interview Chris!" JJ repeated. 

"I fucking love you!" Isabella shouted jumping on him for a hug. 

JJ spun her around once before setting her down and pulling her behind him. She called to her cousins that she'd be right back. Her mind was racing. What questions would she ask? No, she had the questions already written on her notepad in her. She needed to calm down. Breathe. She focused on her breathing as JJ guided her back. She thought about the process in her head. How many times had she interviewed someone? Tons of times. This was no different, just ask the questions and be polite. That's all she needed to do. But it was different. This time she was interviewing people who in reality shouldn't be talking to her in a million years, but here she was. It was as thrilling as it was nerve wracking. 

Finally JJ's pace slowed. He let go of her hand and turned around to look at her, his face bright with enthusiasm. "It looks like you'll have three including me." 

She followed his gaze to see Chris and Victor standing off to the side, leaning against the wall talking. Her heart dropped. Nobody was going to believer her. Why would the top skater in the world do an interview with her? But here she was. She excused herself quickly to JJ's surprise as she ducked into the bathroom to check her appearance. She needed to look professional if she wanted to be taken seriously, that much was obvious. 

She had spent so long last night trying to pick the best attire she could for her potential professional interview making sure she looked both professional, but not so professional that she would look out of place among the spectators. She'd finally decided on wearing a simple dress with stockings and heels with her black pea coat pulled over. Initially a blazer would have been the choice, but she'd decided that it may not be warm enough. Now here she was minutes from the interview and she felt like she had made the wrong choice. 

Isabella dug through her bag to find a clip for her hair. She quickly pulled her hair up, clipping it up. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face before reassessing, but it was no use. She still looked sixteen and there was nothing professional about being sixteen, but it would have to do. With one more breath she walked out of the bathroom right into JJ who was had been hanging out near the door. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, a small frown pulling at the corner of his mouth. 

"Yeah, I'm great. Let's do this." 

She put on what she hoped as a determined look before following JJ over to the other skaters. Chris and JJ exchanged some words while Victor stood silently next to Chris with a slight smile on his lips as he watched them, his eyes flickering to her a couple times making her stomach twist with nerves. 

"This is Isabella Yang. She's with the Villa-Maria Weekly," JJ winked at her. "Isabella, Christophe Giacometti and Victor Nikiforov." 

Isabella felt a lump in her throat as the attention of all three were now on her. She swallowed, took a breath, and planted the best professional smile she could manage, praying that her heart would stop racing as she continued. She opened her mouth to speak and suddenly her mind was blanking on English. Shit! 

"Um...pardon..." 

She wracked her brain for a way to communicate the greetings and pleasantries one needed to use. She glanced at her notepad hoping seeing the notes for the questions would help jog her memory. Nothing. Her cheeks were burning, she could feel the pricking of threatening tears in her eyes. Every thought was in French or Korean. Neither of which were helpful for this situation. She took a breath and smiled. 

"Je suis désolé. Parlez-vous français?' She figured worst case scenario, she could use JJ as a translator...that is if they even wanted to deal with her.

"Yes, we do!" Chris answered in French. 

"Oh good, sorry, I'm blanking on English right now. I guess I don't know it as well as I thought," she laughed. 

"It's okay," Victor smiled. "We can do the interview in French."

"Great, let's get started, shall we? I want to first congratulate you all on your performances, scores, and rankings for day one!" 

Isabella felt the initial anxiety subside as she continued. She was able to quickly brush off her initial mishap and nerves to conduct what she considered to be the most professional interview she had ever done. She couldn't wait to type it up to turn in Monday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Please comment! :) xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a review!


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